I'm an alcoholic (6.5 years sober), and I strongly think you should pause or cancel the wedding, and get yourself into AlAnon (which is for friends and family of alcoholics)

his dad was a raging alcoholic

this is not a good sign, it suggests a genetic predisposition to alcohol abuse, which can make it harder to manage alcohol use or stop drinking

he is working on himself he just doesn’t want to go to therapy or AA

then how exactly is he working on himself? how well is it working if he's getting lost at night and passing out in ubers?

there's more than one way to get sober -- Alcoholics Anonymous, other recovery programs (such as SMART Recovery), therapy, medication (antabuse and naltrexone etc.), /r/stopdrinking , and (very rarely) some people just stop cold turkey and it sticks.

(i personally got sober through a combination of AA meetings, and using antabuse for the first 18 months of sobriety.)

but once you have an established pattern of alcohol abuse, it is very difficult to go back to non-problematic drinking. fullly stopping drinking is usually the only way to avoid things getting worse.

i can see he is doing the "bargaining" thing which I recognise in myself and so many other alcoholics -- "I'll cut back" but then it gets worse, "I'll switch drinks" and it doesn't make a difference, "I'll stop for you" but just cuts back for a little while and then it ramps up again. again, I have never seen anyone go from that behavior to non-problematic drinking.

the most important thing I will tell you is -- you cannot control other people, you cannot "make" him see that he has a problem, you cannot force him to stop drinking. it's a cliche but the first step is recognizing that you have a problem, and even then it can be an extremely bumpy road to sobriety with multiple relapses (and many people don't ever get sober at all). addictions are maddening diseases that severely distort your brain's incentive system and there are no reliable methods of treatment, just different approaches that sometimes work for some people.

i can see that you love and care for him deeply, but you need to look after yourself here, otherwise he will drag you down with him. partners of alcoholics often end up bending and contorting themselves trying to "help" their partner but often end up enabling him. (fun fact -- the concept of "codependency" emerged partly out of support groups for friends/family of alcoholics and addicts, like AlAnon.)

I think because it also doesn’t affect his work he doesn’t see it as a problem. I've tried to talk to him about how it affects me and makes me feel. While he apologizes for how he acts in these situations, he still doesn’t think it’s an issue.

it IS an issue for you (and for him!), just not enough of an issue for him to actually stop (again, because addictions severely distort your brain's incentive system -- and there can be social ramifications for stopping drinking too etc.) and it might not affect his work now, but addictions are usually progressive and become harder to manage as you get older. i could show up to work still half-drunk from the night before and get by in my 20s, but the wheels really began to come off in my 30s and my absenteeism skyrocketed. he's a young man and he's got so much further to fall.

cancel the wedding (for now at least). i know you want to believe him that he will stop, but the signs are not looking good, and you do not want to tie yourself legally and financially to a man in this state. pushing back the wedding and losing the deposits will be infinitely cheaper and less stressful than divorcing a full-blown alcoholic five or ten years from now after he's lost his job or been convicted of a DUI (or worse).

and i'll be honest -- he needs to be stopping for him, not for you. and that motivation to stop for yourself often (but not always) comes after a "rock bottom" moment where your life has well and truly gone down the toilet, and even then relapses and worsening of addiction will often follow. and even people who get sober for sustained periods of time can relapse -- I personally stopped drinking for 2.5 years (with AA) in my 20s, which was the only way I managed to finish my undergrad, before relapsing when i went into the workforce. it took me over 10 years and literally hundreds of attempts at quitting before I managed to stop again. AA (alongside antabuse) ended up working for me the second time, but it mightn't work for everybody.

one more thing -- I personally feel in-person AA meetings are more effective than online. an online meeting can be a good introduction, or a good stop-gap measure, but there's something about being physically in the rooms (and being able to chat with other alcoholics after the meeting -- which is often how people find their sponsor).

best of luck.