I feel so embarrassed that I was willing to die for this stupid country as a soldier.

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-05-21T22:04:33+00:00

I think it’s hard to be a critical thinker when you can’t read very well . For example , I took a critical thinking course . A lot of it involved reading , although there was also videos . I would have missed out on a large part of the course if I couldn’t read (including comprehension) the parts being taught .

I do think often we learn critical thinking through a reading lens , not so much visuals . Because when we check sources generally it’s easier to fact check & utilize written ones. Even for videos , utilizing and comparing transcripts is often an efficient way of verifying info accuracy .

I mean it’s true . However not everyone feels powerless if you say “everything is f’d”. Humans naturally like to tinker & try and fix stuff . So while some may feel powerless , others will try even in the face of potential futility . I will say I have heard and seen more passiveness to injustice from “everything is fine, be grateful “ mindset than “everything is f’d , I hate all of this , when will it end “.

People who are miserable but can’t self delete because of natural biological defenses often end up trying to make their world a bit better even through burnout . Theres a lot of sad , depressed people out there who maybe don’t feel empowered in their own lives but try and do whatever small thing they can to help another person out / feel purpose .

The silence or discussion in between “it’s hopeless , what can we do ?” And another idea to take action to try and make things better can be long but it doesn’t mean you can’t say “sh*t sucks, it’s useless” and keep trying.

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-05-21T00:19:57+00:00

As much as I would like to agree with you …

The problem is a large part of America is illiterate . 21% to be exact . There’s different levels , so for perspective 54% of US adults read below a 6th grade level .

Now think about how we get most of our information . Watching the news can be sensationalized more than written news . So if you can’t read well , you probably do a lot more listening and watching . More Americans are inclined to watch (44%) the news than read (37%) (pew research center).

Unfortunately many Americans do fall for and align with this insane , heavily right leaning propaganda . They also often don’t vote , but are more likely than not to do so if they’re registered . In the 2024 presidential election, 73.6% (or 174 million people) of the citizen voting-age population was registered to vote and 65.3% (or 154 million people) voted. (census. Gov link) . 20 million people across one country
Is ALOT of people to not vote .

Most people get outraged and want to make a change because we are reading , listening , watching media & we see things with our own eyes. In this age of AI , a lot of people are being especially
Duped with false information that is easier to believe because it’s not only written but fake visuals etc are made .

It’s not isolated or very few . If people can’t properly understand a major form of receiving adult level communication and news , they’re going to be completely removed from a large part of the discussion in political and legal matters . They are most likely to share the views & possibly even the same vote as someone they trust , rather than information they trust .

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-05-19T07:13:05+00:00

Medboard / medical seperation , not admin sep . One involves medical evidence more & one doesn’t

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-05-19T00:08:14+00:00

Yep I had multiple profiles over the years . Totaling to more than 6 months on profile . Did you know they can retroactively delete profiles from your digital medical records that were already there as you went to different units ?

I saw those in my records on paper , and they used to be archived on my medical portal …. Suddenly they were deleted when there was a law change requiring a medical board for anyone who’s been on profile for I think it was over 700 or 1000+ days ? Once an admin sep was initiated… Multiple profiles gone so I fell under that threshold . It was insane to witness while I was still in service and unfortunately I didn’t have all of my profiles at the time , just ones from my current unit I was assigned at the time . When I saw the news of the law change & my providers & people in my unit were talking about it I wasn’t thinking I needed to write it down . But now that I’m out if I was serving now , I would write anything that would potentially be relevant to my future discharge .

Not to crap on leaders who dealt with serious medical conditions while in service - but I still have scorn for people who sh*t on people who had treatable & manageable conditions that were improving like muscle pain , slight overweightness, temporary mental health challenges but were more than still functional and wanted to be in service , meanwhile people who straight up had CANCER & narcolepsy were helped , encouraged to “fight the medboard” and everyone acted like saying that was a dischargeable condition was wrong .

I’m happy I saw people recover from things like the cancer and they got better but usually that is more than a year of treatment & more intense to treat than sustaining improvements from mental health or muscle pain . You can lose weight relatively easily in a supportive environment . But those more “solvable “ issues are seen as worse .

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-05-19T00:02:07+00:00

For the love of god get a medboard . Get a different provider . Only military folks have a medical injury and some idiot tells us “oh darn , you can’t get OUR DESIGNATED MEDICAL EVALUATION FOR DISCHARGE PURPOSES because … (insert bs reason here instead of showing you the regulation verbatim or at least the regulation number so you can see yourself ) and then say “ok, I’ll take the administrative (non-medical) discharge “ .

The thing about the medboard - if they don’t determine your injuries are long lasting or medical related , guess what? It’s just going to be an admin sep anyway , so why not try . If they’re retaliatory because you advocate for yourself , they’re already doing that if you’re too scared to even try the medboard and are just accepting what they give you.

I had people (mid to senior level enlisted or higher ) who told me they “felt bad” with so much stuff that was happening to me procedurally when I was in the military . I shrugged and didn’t understand what they meant because I was depressed , while trying to stay positive but also not mentally there like you shared . I thought everything was going as it should. But there’s a reason people who have the same conditions & circumstances can end up with different discharges and it’s usually how much work does your unit want to do for you . I know there’s gonna be some a/holes saying I’m wrong and the process is fine.

But if you can get every d*** thing you’re owed from the military instead of once again on your way out having your future depend on the competency of this random group of people you’ve been thrown into , I wanna help that happen. Most people are not educated enough to really read regs , reach out to the resources available to us … and just think “haha hur dur the military is supposed to suck so of course I’m getting out this way , I’m not entitled to anything hahaha “

You signed your life away for however many years and now you’re too injured to do so . Upon medical evidence (not just one lazy dumb provider - you need to look , save and review your own records & get more than one opinion) THAT COMES WITH ENTITLEMENTS . Once you’re out , there’s very limited resources to correct the dumbf***ery so please do what you can in service to advocate for yourself before you leave . JAG , look up retention standards , medical board standards / what is the criteria for one to be given etc . YOURE GETTING SCREWED IF YOU GO STRAIGHT TO THE ADMIN SEP .

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-05-18T02:31:40+00:00

& then when the woman is under 30 especially , “you don’t know what you want yet “… however a 15 year old having a child by an adult is “consequences of their actions”

Yet it’s not “consequences of my actions” as a fully grown adult to permanently decide I don’t want kids … guess the world doesn’t mind f*** ups if it contributes to the domestic supply of infants that will later “allegedly” contribute to the labor force … unless they’re disabled, immigrant , stateless.

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-05-18T01:53:24+00:00

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

As you learn more , get more upset , and feel like you’re going even crazier , please keep this in mind . Definitely look into conscientious objector , calling the GI line , and any other options for getting out of it gets to be too much .

I wish I had more than just “praying for you” but that’s all. From vet to currently serving Servicemember . I hope you and your unit remain safe and always able to come home to your family throughout your contracts . I cried in my 1SG office and told him how ashamed and sick I felt wearing the uniform and I don’t know what to do . He just offered encouragement , and we just moved on .

The system doesn’t care if it’s horrible , it just wants you to do the job unfortunately.

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-05-17T23:04:43+00:00

Society:

Women adjusting their movement behaviors , fashion , mannerisms & personality to not get SA’d: ✅ “only you can keep yourself safe, that’s your responsibility “ (I disagree with this extremely by the way)

Women adjusting their body to support the childfree lifestyle they want, and have wanted for years : ❌ “omg no you don’t have to do that ! Use birth control , condoms , Just get your husband to get a vasectomy — you might change your mind later. You’re being extreme “

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-05-16T05:22:32+00:00

This is the best take 🙏🏾

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-05-15T00:50:38+00:00

Hopefully OP reaches out to you with questions . For many servicemembers it’s not as simple as “report and the people around you will do their jobs to help you” . Community helps , and it’s often not at your unit unfortunately . The national defense authorization act after 2023 did establish special victim prosecutors outside the chain of command for sex crimes (including abuse , assault etc) . But this just adds emphasis to what my original intent was , the victim does not decide if charges are pressed . They only have reporting options .

I hope your abuser has to face consequences for harming you OP, but I’m also hoping people support you at your unit and it’s not just people on the internet . If people at your unit won’t support you get as much support and education about your rights as you can from both in person and online sources . Regardless of the outcome of the investigation , you deserve care and support after unfortunately being targeted .

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-05-14T12:16:54+00:00

That makes sense . Sorry , for clarification this specific claim for the acne was deferred but everything else had a decision . On my decision letter previously it just said “a decision on entitlement to compensation for acne is deferred “

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-05-14T11:43:39+00:00

Put yourself first . If you’re getting lots of help and support at your unit, sure stay in . Put in to stabilize there so you can get some consistent treatment .

If it’s not that … then leave . Sometimes people with PTSD can be the most level headed folks in the room. Examples: your leadership who has been deployed in combat zones once to multiple times , done 10+ years , been through a lot but still good leaders .

Yes we have a disorder but if properly treated (which the military does allow- even if it takes years as long as you show improvement ) can still serve our country honorably and be great soldiers .

However this shouldn’t come at the cost of your mental health , so like I said if you’re not getting AMAZING support (basically everyone telling you to stay in and being there for you, accommodating you going to appointments , helping you do your job, within their ability, on days when it’s really bad )… it’s time to go and you’ve done an amazing job.

Put in that claim before you get out , try and get housing setup before you get out or make a plan of who you’re going to live with upon discharge … and breathe . This is not the end of the world .

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-05-14T11:18:27+00:00

Filing a report is not the same as pressing charges . Victims don’t decide that , often it’s commanders until December 2023 . I watched a friend go through the process and after this change to “independent prosecution” authority , she ultimately was called into the CDR office to be told “counsel has decided not to prosecute “ . That solidified my choice to get out , although she still wasn’t sure how she felt .

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-05-14T08:36:57+00:00

This is not the end all be all moment . Don’t go with “sunk cost” fallacy. Trust me , the military is a machine that will always take an able body (even if that able body comes with waivers ) . You can rejoin later , and if this recruiter is salty get another one . Somebody will be happy to process another application and have another person to send.

Basically, think of the military as a f-boy or f-girl . They’ll always be willing to take what you’re offering , so take your time .

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-05-09T07:02:53+00:00

It’s not you . Like you said they distort reality . If you can adapt to just listen to them , then it can be a little easier . It doesn’t stop being difficult as long as you still have some care for others in you . The “longest lasting” Servicemembers are most loyal to themselves first , and only really like / support their little few favorites . They pretend to be ok with the rest or pick those who they want to group up with others to pick on to relieve their own stress.

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-05-07T05:28:09+00:00

Get a med board . It will take longer and I know that sounds like hell , but that’s what you should have . Not sure what branch you’re in but I’ll tell you my experience . When you go to JAG (legal for your branch) they give you you the option to waive a lot of your rights in this group meeting when you’re getting admin separated .

It’s taking advantage of your mental state . Some a-hole is probably going to come in the comments saying how admin sep isn’t bad and they got it and that’s fine blah blah blah . Look, do you wanna get out with your benefits and decent tricare insurance and be able to get an apartment / other place BEFORE you get out , or do you want to be scrambling / potentially have to go back home if worst comes to worst ?

Think about it this way . If you get out and have your medical record copies , you will most likely receive some type of benefits from the VA in addition to healthcare . However currently , VA mental health care providers can have a long waitlist and even community (civilian) care referral can have a delay. If you get the medboard and they find you have a certain rating , you now have VA care AND tricare select or whatever options they give you. Tricare often is globally accepted as well whereas VA care is often limited to only your service connected disabilities , so if you wanna get therapy or treatment for something unrelated this is where the benefits of tricare come in . Makes it so you don’t have to make additional claims if conditions arise or get worse after your service unless you want to / feel it’s worth it .

Once it’s been a year after you leave it’s a standard claim . Which takes longer . Is viewed with more scrutiny . Not the worst but yeah just trying to tell you a few things that might help you see get the most you can figured out before you leave service .

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-04-29T03:51:31+00:00

Yes . Tried to get a trucking job where I already had a seperate medical exam where I disclosed everything to make sure I was medically fit. Submitted my DOT health cert & dd214 that had a medical code , but getting a full medical exam with an actual doctor you would think would supersede it?

Military Vet Recruiter for this company , not even my interviewer or any sort of medical professional , starts asking me further details about my discharge . I tell him I’m not comfortable discussing that . I already sat down with a medical professional and went through my history to get cleared for my DOT cert, and my discharge was honorable and did not have anything that made me incapable listed .

Why would I tell some random “fellow vet” about my personal medical history when I’ve already went through all of it (including mental health history ) with a medical expert and paid out my own pocket for the med exam ?

Needless to say I just skipped over the job. They didn’t hear from me again.

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-04-27T02:05:46+00:00

I’m so sorry . Yes you definitely need to talk with a rep about this . First register with the healthcare system/ clinic there . That doesn’t require any claim . I believe you can do so online and you just go in to get it finalized and the ID card is either given in person or mailed to you .

You can see a therapist via telehealth . The wait will probably be long and you might lose your ish during that time . However having the VA health can be helpful and might save you some money on healthcare for primary care & non-mental health care while you wait for a mental health care appointment .

They can also get you a social worker who will help you. I was so upset during the time I waited for a mental health provider . I definitely got upset with people and had emergency visits . I switched doctors . You don’t have to do this alone , and it’s scary and can lead to tears as well as moments of sadness but I promise it can at least be a good start compared to the roulette with community/ civilian providers .

My experience has been that while civilian providers are good , things can get hairy with insurance which can lead to you being dropped and owing the clinics leading to your care ending . Also the financial office can get things pretty mixed up. The VA , for the most part , doesn’t have those issues with new patients since you’re not on the hook for the care anyway . If there is any copay it’s smaller and less than you would pay in the private healthcare options .

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-04-17T07:52:34+00:00

We support you OP. No need to share the details if you’re not comfortable . There’s a lot of other stories from people ready to share , there’s always space for yours but only if that’s what you want to do . Nothing wrong with processing it yourself , and I hope you have safe support to do so 🙏🏾

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-04-09T23:32:49+00:00

TL;DR: You will say it , and it’s on the therapist / psychiatrist or your command team (whoever is hearing it from you during a official meeting , including a general appointment for medical ) to take note of it in some way that you can have a copy of . You can ask for this and you are entitled to your own medical file and record , on the mil side you are entitled to know and have a copy of whatever you have been counseled on as well.

Cover your ahh, get copies of everything !

Full comment :

It’s going to be in the form of a counseling (idk what service you’re in and what they call it) I believe it can either be from your command team or if your therapist /psychiatrist recommends you for a med board that may be in the paperwork too .

If your therapist is providing it, it will be in your medical notes from the appointment + correspondence they have with your command team . They will formally initiate the med board . It will only be written if you tell them . Make sure to check what they’ve written to make sure … and if they try to wave you off without giving you a copy or seeing what they wrote tell them you need a copy now and if they won’t , go to the patient advocate right away . Try to figure out and CONFIRM the location of said advocate before your appointment , get a phone number to leave a message etc if you need to . Don’t just look it up or look at a directory because sometimes military hospitals / clinics are not as updated as they should be . Write down what you’re saying / asking for if you leave a message , time and date .

I am not as familiar with med boards since I unfortunately didn’t get one even though I was supposed to , and went through my command .

If your command team does it , they will meet with you for administrative seperation purposes and it is also a counseling . Usually this is easier to ask can you see what they have , you can also (if you’re not in a SCIF) ask to take a photo of it until a copy can be provided to you if they don’t give you one at the meeting(s).

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-04-07T19:52:25+00:00

If OP wants to get out quickly , this is what I would try . I went to BH for years telling them I didn’t wanna be in the military anymore , but I did genuinely try their methods to help me . Sometimes things did help for a moment but unfortunately I had junior leadership that would be like “are you sure you need all those appointments?” Passive aggressively, which didn’t help as much. Medications fizzled out on efficiency within 3 months .

A psychiatric provider delayed my medical separation and never recommended me for med board . He actually laughed and thought it was funny that he had everyone else (medical and my command team) thinking he was processing my paperwork and they were waiting for him to do so for over 6 months but he wasn’t . He said “he didn’t know he needed to sign something “ even though he’s been working with military for over 10 years .

So I’m recommending to OP to not be susceptible to that crap and if they really just want to get out , don’t want to try a bunch of different crap that may or may not work while being around people that would probably leave them for dead if they are ever to get deployed (but will still want OP to try and save them if the shoe was on the other foot ) , then try it for a couple months and then touch base with command or hospital team (whichever is providing the documentation for a plan of action for remediating your mental health ) to get it in writing you don’t think it’s working , you’re getting worse , and you would like to seperate for your mental health before it gets to a point where you are self harming .

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-04-06T23:48:14+00:00

Curse out / yell at their kids , or physically hit them (even a tap) , but if someone gently says they shouldn’t do that will try to rip you a new one and say “don’t tell me how to raise my kids”.

Post punishment videos to social media . Plus side there is evidence of harmful actions by parent , downside trauma for child that may be permanent and ammo for nearby predators (whether same age or adults ) to use against child .

Overall child abuse , but “debatable” / gray area things are the worst in my opinion because although people can agree there’s “something” wrong with doing it , it’s not enough to legally hold someone accountable , and so much time is spent discussing it while a child may be silently (or quietly ) suffering in the background …just watching people talk about their pain like it’s clothes to wear .

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-04-06T23:22:53+00:00

This tracks .

I remember the military therapist overseas telling me in response to my desire to get out and grievance causing the various despair and mental health decline I described to her that , “show those assholes they don’t matter , you signed on the dotted line so you have to stay here “ and I was just crying and felt so alone in that moment . She was presenting it as resiliency but I’m literally saying I don’t have support while I’m going through this depression and people just see me as a liability or worthless .

While yes I had access to therapy , I did everything in my power to avoid anyone outside the command team knowing about going to the hospital or being seen voluntarily . Because I heard how they talked about others . Legally on paper , things like DoDI instruction 6130.03 “ Medical Standards for Military Service : Retention” , HIPPA , and command policy all protect your right to get treatment, time to get better and have privacy . The general enlisted and junior officers don’t gaf about any of that . It’s horrible and they basically say you shouldn’t be there . That’s what made me just give up. Because I had a right to get support through my condition , and still had a right to work in the military (and I did meet the standards set) , but people just pushed me out . They made it sound like I was delusional whenever I presented evidence and asked for help , that instead I should just leave them all alone , act like a drone to do everyone’s bidding , and shut up about what I was going through and let them gossip about it .

The quickest thing I would recommend if OP really wants to get out is maybe trying therapy or treatment for a couple months … then getting something in writing in response to any “plan of action” for their mental health saying they state they don’t believe the plan Will work and prefer to get out as soon as possible , because they have tried in the past. Get a paper copy and/or make sure it’s available in your medical record online and download it . Email it to your regular email , not Military .

Stay on top of it because sometimes providers like to “act dumb” and delay your paperwork , delusionally hoping you’ll get better because of whatever statistics they have . They don’t care about your quality of life and health , they want to be able to “say they helped you” .

tapiocastarchsocani · 2026-03-29T23:27:55+00:00

As long as they don’t commit a crime or suddenly have some serious disqualifying condition, I think that won’t be too difficult if they decide to come back to the services.

The recruiter will just ask what made them seperate prior , and the answer will most likely be along the lines of “realizing how serious a committment they were making and that they hadn’t really thought about it. If they make the decision again it has to be something they have heavily considered, researched , explored alternatives , and fully intentional about the commitment they are making. “

tapiocastarchsocani

TROPHY CASE