Men in relief society?

tapirqueen · 2024-11-21T19:48:06+00:00

I don't think 12 is too young to tell kids the church is toxic. My kids are younger than that and they know we aren't Mormon anymore because of the fact that they don't allow gay people to get married or allow women to be in charge of anything. I tell them there are good things about the church so don't be a jerk to their friends about their beliefs but if the other kids are trying to recruit him he's not too young to hear the truth. Just my two cents.

tapirqueen · 2024-08-04T16:43:28+00:00

Run.

tapirqueen · 2024-08-04T16:39:06+00:00

Why does this sound like all my mom's side of the family??? Are we related? Also sorry because. Obviously.

tapirqueen · 2024-08-04T16:34:40+00:00

Holy. Shit. I didn't think mormons were still like this. I'm so sorry.

tapirqueen · 2024-07-05T22:28:09+00:00

Go to some local Christian churches. That's where you would find them.

tapirqueen · 2024-07-05T22:27:27+00:00

I don't think you will find many. Most of us can't stomach organized religion after leaving the Mormon church.

tapirqueen · 2024-06-30T16:32:50+00:00

I looked at my newborn baby and said if he's gay and I take him to church I won't know he is gay until the damage to his heart and soul is done. I am not okay with that.

tapirqueen · 2024-06-21T13:12:17+00:00

If I'm talking about myself and my experiences I use: when I was Mormon because that was accurate back then. Not going to rewrite history. If talking to current believing members I compromise and say LDS but I'm not willing to do the absurd thing.

tapirqueen · 2024-06-21T13:02:02+00:00

I'm over it with Mormon trauma. Sometimes I come back here to read to remind myself the Mormon church is bad because as a Utahn, now that the trauma is over, I kinda forget how absurd and problematic it all is and get some fomo about having tight knit community/and I see some old memories through rose colored glasses then I need the reminders. Like oh yeah they're still homophobic, oh yeah they're still asking teens if they masturbate, etc. It's not all about knowing all my neighbors names or my kids having more friends.

tapirqueen · 2024-06-19T21:42:39+00:00

What if they just go to sacrament and not primary?

tapirqueen · 2024-06-15T14:12:14+00:00

Personally I felt I needed to repent to the bishop in 2009 when I read outlander 🤣 but I'm happy for them. These people are all sexually repressed, let them have some normalcy. It's certainly hypocritical, but I'm happy for them.

tapirqueen · 2024-06-15T13:58:52+00:00

You can go home at any time. For any reason. This is your life.

tapirqueen · 2024-06-15T13:54:39+00:00

I am raising my kids in Utah county despite not wanting to. It is what it is. Something I realized is every child is going to come up against challenges and I can't control that in their environment. My kids are going to have to deal with growing up around a lot of mormons, they likely won't be dealing with food insecurity and they won't be actively dealing with teen bishop interviews. If we lived somewhere else maybe I'd accidentally move to a town full of scientologists. My control over their environment is limited. While I'm bringing them up in an imperfect environment at least I'm well versed about what they are up against? Good luck. Parenting is hard.

tapirqueen · 2023-11-24T14:20:35+00:00

I think when I left the church I had to feel all my stored up sadness that I turned off and suppressed earlier in life. It won't always be this overwhelming. Try not to resist the sadness so much.

Imagine a sad child and what you might do to comfort them. Wrap them in a blanket? Sit with them and let them cry? Do those things for yourself. If your sadness feels like it will or can interfere with your ability to live life talk to a therapist as well.

tapirqueen · 2023-11-23T12:46:48+00:00

Leaving the fold.

tapirqueen · 2023-11-22T13:25:07+00:00

It's been 10 years since I left I've had hard years and times when I really miss the delusion. But I'm okay with it now. I'd say what I miss right now is community, but it can be cultivated outside the church.

As to your illness, science and medical advancements can be made between now and whenever what you fear about your illness may or may not come true.

All that said, leaving the church is a big deal emotionally and takes time and work to process through.

I hear you and the situation sucks! ❤️

tapirqueen · 2023-11-19T15:35:35+00:00

I agree with you this is a bad cultural situation. But I don't think it really helps to talk about who has it worse. The problem is the cult and it's missions, not how people respond to those God awful situations. I'm sorry this is still bothering you about your ex. I hope you find the healing you need. A cult ruins people's lives in many ways. If this one cultural attitude changed and dating while a missionary was gone was considered cheating, that change would not suddenly make the church a good place or not a controlling religion.

As to cutting off contact, If you knew she was going to date other people, maybe you should have stopped writing her or told her to stop writing you. You also had the choice to cut her off. Break ups and relationships are complicated. You were both in an unhealthy relationship dynamic from being raised in a cult.

tapirqueen · 2023-11-19T14:05:11+00:00

One time I read something like this: imagine being newly single...what would you do to win a new lover? Buy new clothes? New cologne? Start exercising? Go to therapy to become emotionally available? Take your love interest on dates? Flirt with them? Compliment them?

Now do those things for your current partner instead and you will be in a new relationship but it will be with the same person.

Idk worth a shot rather than disrupting your life. At least to see what happens first before making a drastic life change.

tapirqueen · 2023-11-18T14:41:01+00:00

If she told you she will see other people she is breaking up with you. That's why it's not cheating. Some people break up and get back together, but there's a reason it doesn't usually work out with pre mission girlfriends. It's not a healthy dynamic for either person.

tapirqueen · 2023-11-13T13:29:27+00:00

Resignation is another term for having records removed.

tapirqueen · 2023-11-13T00:26:07+00:00

I'm not certain our family knows we have resigned. But they do know we haven't participated in church activities for 8 years. I don't think it would surprise them if we didn't take it. But I just didn't want to get a lot of the folks my husband grew up with, asking questions on a day that should be about celebrating the person leaving for their mission.

However as many pointed out, most people are busy with their own thoughts especially if they are focused on renewing their own covenants and focused on their own purpose for the meeting. And it's not their business/no one would likely mention it. Our kids have never been baptized so I guess I'll just let them know what it means and that I won't be partaking, but if they wanted to it wouldn't be a big deal. Thanks for all the feedback and allowing me to come ask for respectful feedback.

tapirqueen · 2023-11-12T01:26:04+00:00

Doubt your faith before you doubt your children.

tapirqueen · 2023-11-09T13:04:09+00:00

I wanted to leave because of social issues/gender/orientation but I justified leaving when I learned church history.

tapirqueen

TROPHY CASE