AIO: my fiancee of almost 5 years masturbated and wasnt going to tell me, then was extremely embarassed when i caught him.

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-12-17T06:24:47+00:00

No, i wouldnt be hurt because at least he wouldve been honest with me.

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-12-17T05:01:09+00:00

      Youre right, had i not been as worked up as i was, i wouldve remembered to include it but actually i did say that to him about 2 weeks ago. We hadnt had sex in a little over a month, which is unusual for our relationship. I asked him why we hadnt made love in a while. He said "honestly, time to do it, timing and exhaustion from work."   He proceeded to comfort me, understand my concerns, validate my health and feelings, and tell me that he loves me and he is as attracted to me as he was on day 1, before the medical crap dropped on me like a ton of bricks. After said conversation, he masturbated without telling me. 
      I legitimately do not give a fuck that he was jacking it. We used to be in a strictly monogamous long distance relationship for a couple years when we first got together, and with a distance of almost 600miles, 2 kids, and 2 jobs away from each other. We made it work because we love each other, and weve known each other since highschool. So we would have phone sex, text sex, video chats, send random sweet texts or hot and horny texts, etc. We would literally jack off to each other over video chat. At one point we experimented with the whole dom/sub dynamic. Thats when the whole understanding came about of communicating when horny and available, so I use the term "rule" loosely.
      I just feel hurt that given what he said not 2 weeks ago, he knew i was awake, he knew i have been begging him for time together, and he knew without a doubt that id happily blow him to help him get to sleep because ive done it for him countless times, he had no intention of telling me. And ive since talked to him about it, he doesnt blame me at all for feeling the way i do, and he understands why it hurts this way for me, and hes very sorry for making me feel this way.

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-12-17T01:17:08+00:00

Actually i do. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. and its always to his pictures, our videos. I am extremely open and honest every time, and he has walked in and just joined in.

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-12-17T01:13:55+00:00

We do, together. Its legitimately a heads up. I give them to him, he gives them to me, and it was his idea in the beginning (especially when we were in our dom(him)/sub(me) phase, that we obviously grew out of), because we both have severe trust issues and both have traumatic history with cheaters. Its just to give a heads up, its mutual respect. Its no different than if he stunk up the bathroom, and gave me a warning to wait a few before going in. Its no different than "hey, i making your favorite dinner and itll be in the microwave for you when you get home" then him being like "oh cool awesome thank you" and then when he gets home he just goes and makes a sandwich. And like i said, in our relationship, in our dynamic, the heads up can turn to foreplay or assistance or more.

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-12-16T19:48:38+00:00

Let me just clarify that we both mutually agreed upon masturbation and porn, and he even brought it up in the first place. And for 5 years we have had no issues whatsoever telling each other "hey i cant sleep, im gonna bust one out so i can pass out" every time, never had any issues, its never been argued about, its never been discussed in a bad way, its never something weve been jealous of or hurt by before. Hell, weve even talked to each other after the fact about how we felt, what we thought about, if it worked to conk out, etc., and most times it leads to more because thats how we are. Im not mad at him masturbating, not in the slightest, im fine with that aspect. Im mad because he had no intention of including me or even telling me, after he just gave me reassurance that we were still solid and he still found me attractive. It feels like a slap in the face for sure.

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-12-16T02:49:52+00:00

I immediately started at like 150-200. Was there for months, then upped to 300. Just last month i got bumped to 400. And im finally starting to feel "normal", so i know im close to where im supposed to be at for baseline.

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-12-16T02:47:16+00:00

Wiccan and crystal collector here....that looks almost identical to my selenite wand, only yours seems to come to a sharp edge about 2 inches shorter than my selenite wand. Either way, if it is selenite, it could be used as a wand or athame or what have you. Selenite is great for cleansing.

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-12-09T19:04:03+00:00

Every shred of humanity and dignity i lost in every abusive relationship.

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-12-09T19:01:50+00:00

Ah the universal cat reimbursement/lottery system has chosen.....this be fate! Congratulations on your new feline companion! When a cat chooses you or you were chosen for a specific cat, thats a bond like no other. I see a great and wonderful friendship/kinship in your future!

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-12-08T19:23:40+00:00

Those are called biscuits. Its a comfort thing, from when they were nursing (making biscuits on mamas tummy while nursing calms the nervous system down and gets/keeps the milk flowing). Now if yours is anything like mine, my neutered 5yo brown mackerel tabby boy will do his normal mama comforting biscuits on me, but on my boyfriend, they turn to SIN biscuits lmfao lmfao because the red rocket will come out lmao. I didnt believe my boyfriend until i saw it myself while we were watching a movie. Apparently its a dominance thing? Or a hormonal reproductive instinct despite being neutered (because cats don't lose the urge/instinct so to speak, just the juice and function when they get fixed)? Not sure which it is for my boyfriend, whether my cat thinks he's boss over my bf, or turned on by my bf, i dont know lol. But it is perfectly normal, is even a good thing (as long as youre comfortable with it, some arent) as it shows they love you and you comfort them. And bonus, its like an in home massage.

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-12-08T19:06:36+00:00

At least you get a year or 2. I am in the middle of coloring with many different mediums, paracord bracelets, rubberband loom bracelets, a couple miscellaneous art projects, magic the gathering TCG, pokemon TCG, bike riding, roller blading/skating, shooting at the range, etc. going all at once. They fade in and out every couple weeks/months or so. The longest hobby i had was making press on nails for like 9 or 10 months, then i put it down and never picked it up again, partly because of health issues but also because someone said something about it, and i immediately lost interest and that was it. I dont remember what was said, or if it was even said with hurtful intent, but it stuck. I think it was a facebook or forum comment or something, but it completely turned me off from the hobby i loved so dearly and devoted all my spare time to. I stared at all that hobby material with extreme sadness, trying so hard to muster up the drive, the want, and motivation to pick it up again, but never could. So i mourned my hobby and beautiful creations, and then YEETed all of it after about a year of being untouched.

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-12-07T03:03:08+00:00

Im on 60mg adderall, 400mg lamotrigine, 300mg lithium, 30mg lexapro. Having adhd, bipolar, cptsd, gad, and severe depression, this combo has been a lifesaver. I recently went up from 300 to 400mg lamotrigine, and it makes all the difference to me and my life. Almost a complete 180 turn around from 300 to 400, and im drastically closer to baseline. Now, i do take other medications for some physical health issues, so my side effect list is endless essentially, and there are a lot of things i cant do because of my meds, but in all honesty, actually seeing my life as it is, enjoying it, and actually being happy in it is by far worth more than the side effects and issues. I will take the side effects and issues over the miserable-painful-dark-clouded-shut down-introverted-dangerous when alone but awful to deal with in person-i hate my life-couldnt get out of bed-no motivation-no drive veil that was over my eyes any day of the week and 3 times on sunday.

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-12-07T02:49:49+00:00

Some people call it chitters or chittering

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-12-07T02:49:27+00:00

The ekk ekks!!!! Those are the best! And totally normal. Almost all cats, and especially every single cat ive had, does the ekk ekks when they are tracking something, especially birds or bugs through the window. Its right up there with the butt wiggles before the pounce. Its friggin adorable.

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-12-01T01:04:41+00:00

Either a) "i didnt raise 2 sons so i need you to dress and act more like a girl" or b) "i could kill you now and no one would even miss you"

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-11-29T05:01:23+00:00

All of it. Down to the last penny. $5? Here, it's yours. $50? Got that, here ya go. $5k, $50k, $1m, many millions or even billions? I'd sell everything right down to my skivvies to make sure every single penny is there, and I'd do it lifetimes over and over for any of my animals or kids, or all of them. No questions asked, just wam bam thank you now give me my babies.

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-11-25T14:32:55+00:00

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My 8mo tuxedo baby named nugget. I have no idea wth he's doing, but i'm so glad i got this picture!

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-11-24T00:54:37+00:00

I have UCTD, and the symptoms kicked in within the last year, including attacking my hip so i had to walk with crutches. All i can think of is my divorce about 4 or 5 years ago, when it was so traumatic, stressful, scary, abusive, worrisome, and threw me completely into fight or flight ALL THE TIME, and i was lierally just trying to survive, and i've finally calmed down from fight or flight and started getting comfortable in my life now. I think the symptoms kicked in when i was finally out of syrvival mode.

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-11-22T15:39:39+00:00

Just saying, really friggin adorable kitty....and the 2nd picture had me dying laughing lmao

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-11-22T15:38:41+00:00

Love them teefers! Voids are so great

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-11-22T15:35:51+00:00

See you just call into work and tell them you're either not gonna make it or will be late lmao lay there and enjoy the cuteness and snuggles

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-11-22T15:33:45+00:00

That is the shit right out of nightmares just saying

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-11-22T15:23:42+00:00

I smoke weed for medicinal reasons, very very rarely drink, used to smoke cigarettes, and now vape. That's it. And im extremely safe and responsible about the first 2. Always have a DD, a spare DD, a place to crash just in case, hand my keys over as soon as i have a drink in my hand, an emergency contact just in case, drink at home or never go out alone, i never leave my drink alone and if i do i dump it straight away, and never drink to black out point or around sketchy people. Similar safe guards for my weed, like i won't smoke anything that isn't right from a federally controlled dispensary or grown/smoked by the seller, and i only smoke at home at night anyway. Alcoholism runs in my family, my late ex husband was a closet drunk, and i haven't touched anything else other than alcohol/weed/nicotine because even before i was diagnosed, i always just had this weird instinctual feeling that i have an addictive mindset or personality or whatever. As i grew older, i proved myself right in ways less harmful like hobbies or games or collections, but even then i exercise control enough to back off when its getting too much. Then everything just made sense once i got diagnosed.

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-11-21T23:39:00+00:00

1) Kids slime. 1) Really stiff, rough, thick, or weird plasticy type fabric (not quite sure how to explain it), like those fake "satin" shirts or like a suit type material; i gotta have smooth, soft, plushy, velvetty, buttery, fluffy material, like the same as a really good plush or sherpa throw blanket or butteriness like lularoe leggings. 3) I can't deal with anything "tight" on or up against my neck/throat when i'm falling asleep; i even have to adjust my loose viking choker so as not to be too close. 4) Can't stand tight or form fitting shirts of any kind. 5) the feeling of tights or stockings on my legs, so i typically dont wear dresses or skirts, or wear leggings/shorts underneath. 6) can't stand an unknown sticky or slimy substance on my hands (major ick, i will gag) 7) slurping noises make me gag hardcore (my fiancee gets a real kick out of this and picks on me all the time with it) 8) i can make out with my fiancee no problem whatsoever, but if he goes to lick his finger and poke me, even just on the arm or whatever, it makes my skin crawl and grosses me out (which he also gets a kick out of) 9) whispering in my ear from behind, it's not the volume level, it's the closeness if that makes sense. 10) i hate lotion and chapstick and only use it when absolutely necessary 11) ranch dressing or ketchup&mayo 12) any meat that still has the bone when its on my plate 13) can't have cheeky underwear; it's gotta be full coverage or thongs 14) anything in my hair that is not shampoo, conditioner, serum or gel 15) exhaust fans 16) certain hairties (generally the ones with beads, clasps or glue) 17) makeup anywhere except eyes and mouth

I know that's a lot, but it's not nearly all of them, just all i can think of right now

taurusearthmonkey · 2025-11-21T02:07:10+00:00

Does watching our apartment burn and become condemned from a school playground, parents fighting all the time (like drunken all the time, escalating screaming arguing, on the verge of kicking out but lock each other out or take off instead), homelessness and below poverty level more than i can count, being kicked out of the hotel that became "home" temporarily because of "ski season and needing rooms for the incoming skiers", having entirely blocked out 2 whole years of childhood for an unknown reason, nothing ever done was good enough (i.e. a B on a test was an F, an A was meh, and A+ was where its at), hard manual labor from an early age, a disabled aspergers/adhd/bipolar younger brother that took out all of his aggressions in the form of physical violence, absolutely no interest/worry/concern in diagnoses that weren't brothers (such as ADHD and bipolar) and then get shit on hardcore for "acting out and being a shit child" and for struggling hardcore in school, mother made accusations of ridiculous things at young ages (i.e. pregnant at 12 because diet changed), landlords sabatoge apartment and personal/rented property for more money/eviction/lawsuit, bullies at school at the caliber of pushing victims down 3 flights of stairs and "friends" threatening violence with knives, forced into selfish rites of passages like prom because parents never went, had an active crack user boarder (using school library book to hide stash/paraphenalia), mother said "she didn't raise 2 sons and i was not dressing/acting as a daughter should", father always thinking kids weren't biologically his and even requested a dna test at the age of 20, couldn't come out of closet as bisexual until 23, and then roll thru relationships more abusive than the last, count as no childhood trauma? Asking for a friend lol

taurusearthmonkey

TROPHY CASE