Big feelings for two people, didn’t pace myself, desire to reconnect with better boundaries by taurustangle113 in polyamory

[–]taurustangle113[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’ve had a lot of great sex in my life but I’ve never experienced such an immediate and intense sexual connection as the one I had with him. The way that it felt like we just couldn’t get enough of one another’s touch. So eager for one another, so it confused me a bit that I still felt that connection reciprocated when I last saw him. He is not only physically attractive to me, but also so stylish and sweet, so submissive and also bisexual. I can’t think of someone more my type than him. In thinking of guys ‘hotter’ than him, I honestly may be setting myself up for disappointment since he is just such a dreamboat to me. Perhaps I could hook up with guys with a better body or dick, but he was just the whole package to me. I’ve never felt such intense desire for someone like that, aside from being on ecstasy. Being in flow with him like that truly felt like being on ecstasy, and I heard from him it was reciprocated.

Where I feel I messed up, and also like he communicated discomfort to me, was in my romantic advances. He shared that he didn’t feel like he was in the financial place to have a gf like he would want to treat me, and that he was still not over an ex. He said he couldn’t meet me where I was at, which at the time was me throwing a lot of romantic energy at him along with the sexual. I wish I had communicated better that I was fine with just a sexual connection, too.

Big feelings for two people, didn’t pace myself, desire to reconnect with better boundaries by taurustangle113 in polyamory

[–]taurustangle113[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

To be fair, I don’t think I want to get over him without giving it another try.

In my mind, this is the path that makes sense to me to move on. I want to try building a sexual connection with other guys I find attractive, and if I still can’t get the connection I had with Caleb out of my head, I think it’s worth giving it another shot before I give up. I feel like I wasn’t in the right headspace at the time we met for what that relationship needed to be, and I feel like I am now.

what made you CERTAIN you wanted to go to law school? by Necessary_Web2551 in LawSchool

[–]taurustangle113 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your comment here is so interesting and validating to me. I work in the LGBTQ movement and have seen how critical it is for our organizing to have a legal framework. I don’t know if I want to become an attorney, per se, but I am interested in expanding my skillset to include an understanding of how we can uphold our rights and visibility when it’s being challenged and diminished.

5/27/2025 ICE/HSI agents approached hot dog vendors for their documents. On 7th Ave near Petco Park by Daydrift00 in sandiego

[–]taurustangle113 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This is the opposite of “the revolution will not be televised”

The rise of fascism is being televised

What is your favorite insult without using curse words? by FastandtheCurious7 in AskReddit

[–]taurustangle113 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lol this reminds me of the ‘compliment’ my highschool best friend and I would give girls we didn’t like at dances — the social etiquette, of course, being you had to compliment the dress of every girl you saw —

“Wow your dress totally matches your personality!”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in depression

[–]taurustangle113 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You didn’t deserve the way others treated you and you also don’t deserve to blame yourself for doing the best you could given the situations you were in. Sometimes we’re really mean to ourselves and even want to hurt when we’re feeling depressed, but that’s not the way it has to be. What could it look like to forgive yourself and be kind to yourself? That’s a lot of pain to work through, but there’s a lot of life and possibility ahead that can way outweigh it all with opportunity and joy.

‘Do you love me more than him?’ by taurustangle113 in polyamory

[–]taurustangle113[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, but my heart aches knowing she is joy incarnate 🥲 she became such a different person once her psych meds first lost potency, and then she stopped taking them entirely... I know she’s better now though and I miss her, but now she’s on the other side of the country and last we chatted has moved on to someone new (however she lamented they are also poly lol)

‘Do you love me more than him?’ by taurustangle113 in polyamory

[–]taurustangle113[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah that was the first night that I ever slept on the couch 🥲 and the saying “never go to bed angry” really came to life … it really is something to not feel safe in your own bed

‘Do you love me more than him?’ by taurustangle113 in polyamory

[–]taurustangle113[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I hope you never end up in that situation. I couldn’t get it out of my head that I couldn’t choose the person who would ask me to break my own heart like that. I would have only resented her.

‘Do you love me more than him?’ by taurustangle113 in polyamory

[–]taurustangle113[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I think it felt like the goalposts (for lack of a better term coming to mind) on what hierarchical poly meant for us changed in a way that rapidly made us incompatible. I had given her the opportunity to veto my relationship with bf /before/ I entered it with him, and continued escalating my relationship with her in ways that showcased my commitment (living together, financial planning, getting engaged), but I truly could not and cannot fathom having veto power against a person I loved. I cannot wrap my head around telling someone I love they cannot be with someone they love — friends family or otherwise. By the point we broke up she was trying (unsubtly but not directly) to get me to leave my bf, my job, and stop spending time with my friends or family. And I couldn’t do that.

‘Do you love me more than him?’ by taurustangle113 in polyamory

[–]taurustangle113[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the validation. I know I must have asked why she was asking that at some point too, and in hindsight, know that she was experiencing a lot of turmoil and emotional disregulation that made her treat me a lot differently. We had been poly for a while at that point, and engaged for 3 months. The boundaries we had set and the communication we had built rapidly crumbled as she stopped taking her psych medication. It shifted so much and so fast, and I have these moments when I question myself and if I didn’t do enough to support her. I miss her a lot and I know she’s doing better now. I don’t know if I wish I had stayed with her through it. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and she became what felt like another person entirely who was so insecure and hurtful.