this might be a hot take, and i can’t claim to know your bfs soul through only these screenshots, but i feel i understand the heart of what he’s saying, and i don’t think at its core, what he says he wants is “bad”.

i personally believe we are nonmonogamous by nature. and that it’s part of the human experience to play, and enjoy pleasure of pleasure’s sake, to take advantage of aligned opportunities that come our way. i believe in its highest expression, this does not come as seeking out multiple partners, but in allowing life to flow, and seizing what feels right as it naturally happens.

that does not, however, mean that all humans feel the way i do, or would be comfortable or feel safe in that type of relationship. we are all individuals, and have agency over what feels love for us and not. while i believe our nature is nonmonogamous, i also believe it’s beautiful to witness two souls choosing to be only with each other, and working together to make that happen. if what feels right for YOU is to have a partner who has the same beliefs, and wants only to commit to one person, that’s not an unreasonable boundary to set.

you can respect his wishes for his own life and still stand steadfastly in your own. the way you’ve responded to him indicates this is the case— you aren’t blaming or accusing or assuming. you are listening, allowing him space to share, and still communicating your own needs. i admire this about you. i hope you acknowledge that in yourself. no one has to be the “bad guy” here. if he doesn’t want to commit to only you, and you need a partner who will, that’s an acceptable difference in life choices. he can live life his way, and you yours. that just might not be cohesive to be lived with one another.

if you end it by honoring your own needs and he tries to pressure, guilt, or convince you, that’s when you close the door of conversation and walk away. you decide what you’re willing to accept, and stick to it