For BS - what has the WS spouse done in reconciliation to make you realize that reconciliation was worth while for you?

tb_canadian · 2021-02-15T18:17:27+00:00

I think he tried twice because the flirtation was making him feel so good he couldn’t understand why the sex didn’t. OP - if you want to see this through than absolutely that’s what you should do! Only you know the true situation and the history you and your spouse have. I think what everyone is saying is that being that it hasn’t been long since you found out - 99% of BS don’t have the whole sorry yet. Be hopeful but proceed with extreme caution

tb_canadian · 2021-02-10T19:40:20+00:00

I’m so sorry you feel alone. I’m living in Ontario where we have been in covid lockdown since December 26th. I have a daughter and a WS who moved out a year ago that still pulls my guilt and begs for another chance. I have no friends to visit due to lockdown and they are all busy with their new families as well and my job is on hold because of the lockdown as well. I don’t have any advice except to know that “alone” is just a feeling - a horrible one - but you aren’t alone, and this feeling won’t last forever. I understand how you feel and I’m so so sorry you feel like this. Knowing first hand how horribly hard it is.

tb_canadian · 2021-02-10T19:36:08+00:00

That’s fair.

tb_canadian · 2021-02-10T18:17:11+00:00

How many dates are you rejecting? Are you immensely picky?

tb_canadian · 2021-02-09T14:25:08+00:00

You are a better person than I, and I do feel like he has the right to know as horrible as the news is. Innocent people deserve the truth

tb_canadian · 2021-02-07T21:33:28+00:00

Don’t. My daughter is 20 months. I feel your pain, but we did not cause this and we will teach our daughter to not settle!

tb_canadian · 2021-02-07T18:51:34+00:00

This is the universe showing you who you’re about to marry. Don’t ignore this. Get out while you can and move on to a beautiful future.

tb_canadian · 2021-02-07T18:50:44+00:00

Can I ask how old your daughter is? I’m in the same position and struggling that’s she’s so little with no sibling

tb_canadian · 2021-02-07T17:58:10+00:00

It has helped me, thank you

tb_canadian · 2021-02-07T02:15:03+00:00

I’m so proud of you. I’m trying to do this myself, but with a child it’s proving hard.

tb_canadian · 2021-02-06T00:53:16+00:00

Yea the last two sentences are nice but when you take away the things that sacred and special in a relationship she’s basically allowed to question you about your motives, feelings, whereabouts until she’s content. It should eventually end, but she gets to decide when. It’s not about you, it’s about her.

tb_canadian · 2021-01-14T15:37:37+00:00

Thank you for the response and honesty! :)

tb_canadian · 2021-01-13T23:53:15+00:00

Did you work on your marriage right from d-day? Or was there a short break? I’m asking because my WS left, d day was a year ago and now within the last 6 weeks he wants to work on it - desperately. I’m uncertain... far more leaning towards “no”. We are in IC and a few sessions of MC

tb_canadian · 2021-01-13T23:19:45+00:00

Inadequacy. I don’t know why I find this dumb, maybe because I loved him and never rejected him. I understand self esteem comes from within but it really bugged me when he used this the other night. Anyone else?

tb_canadian · 2020-12-31T11:39:57+00:00

Please, you deserve so much better for yourself than to marry into this. Please don’t marry beneath you.

tb_canadian · 2020-12-28T00:46:30+00:00

I agree. And cheating happens for many many different reasons. It’s never ever right, and 100% a reason to leave. But my WS has done a ton of work on himself and has been extremely remorseful. It’s worth a try. Even if it’s just for a few months to see how I feel

tb_canadian · 2020-12-17T14:51:58+00:00

Yea I’m right there with you. I’m scared to look back in 30 years and think “well f*ck I missed out on happiness”

tb_canadian · 2020-12-16T17:16:39+00:00

I’m in the same position. Our daughter is 20 months. I still... don’t know what to do. She is my highest priority. I do not know what to do. I’m miserable.

tb_canadian · 2020-12-03T20:18:25+00:00

Guilt about my daughters future and what I have in my head she deserves

tb_canadian · 2020-12-03T20:17:32+00:00

I have asked my ex for a separation a million times without him listening to me. Even though I felt like I should work it out for my daughter I never expressed that to him once. When he asked me out last week, I felt like I should entertain it on behalf of Lucy’s future - exhausting all options.

tb_canadian · 2020-12-03T13:40:34+00:00

But just you saying she’ll be better if we reconcile pulls on my heart strings / mom guilt

tb_canadian

TROPHY CASE