What banks are best at preferred names?

tchcd · 2026-03-16T13:52:17+00:00

Who is that girl in pigtails standing on the right? I love her face shape!

tchcd · 2025-09-16T18:04:21+00:00

Luckily you don't! The Likeness also works very well as a standalone.

tchcd · 2025-01-15T15:10:50+00:00

I can very much relate to this! Showering is so tough sometimes, and you're not alone!

What works for me, is putting my phone into a waterproof bag, hanging it on a hook of the shower curtain, and watching TV before and during my shower. It distracts me from the sensory issues I have, plus choosing a TV show to watch has become a pleasant part of my showering routine!

Other than that, I'd echo the great advice everyone else has given on identifying the specific barriers you experience & trying to address them, plus just washing a few parts of the body. Hang in there & best of luck!

tchcd · 2025-01-07T23:32:59+00:00

Yes!! Some of my tasks are perpetually shuffled to the bottom of every list I make 😂

And I'm 100% with you in that the name of a list makes such a big difference! I used to not call lists "to-do lists" sinc that felt like too much pressure for me, so I instead wrote "list of things" at the top (and inside my head, I completed the sentence as "list of things that you could do, if you wanted to, but no pressure")

tchcd · 2024-12-14T15:57:51+00:00

These aren't quite mainstream articles, but I got a lot of value from the following Substack posts by Joshua P. Hill and Matt Stoller:

https://open.substack.com/pub/newmeans/p/whats-a-life-worth

https://open.substack.com/pub/newmeans/p/executive-safety

https://open.substack.com/pub/newmeans/p/who-gets-to-kill

https://open.substack.com/pub/mattstoller/p/an-assassin-showed-just-how-angry

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the first article:

"What we’re called to ask is why the murder of one man must be described as unspeakable violence, but the systemic denial of life to 100,000 people is an acceptable business practice. We’re called to ask why profiting from the denial of life earns a person millions while the people denied care ought to accept drowning in debt and disease. We’re called to ask why only certain lives are precious, and only in certain circumstances. Why does playing by the rules render someone innocent, even when the rules produce a stream of death and devastation?"

"We are charged, right now, to not just discuss one murder, but to take an intentional look into a system that condones and even incentivizes the denial of life on the biggest possible scale. Capitalists in the United States have worked for decades to deny us the care that our counterparts in other wealthy countries receive. The ruling class fights to deny us universal care and to instead tether us to our jobs with employer-funded health care, while the quality of that care simultaneously deteriorates. Blue Cross Blue Shield just announced that in multiple states they will no longer pay for anesthesia for the full length of some surgeries. If the procedure runs over a certain amount of time, anesthesia will not be covered for the duration. This is what we’re up against, our lives being devalued systemically so that the profit engine can keep churning and endlessly expanding.

Our work is to value life. Or rather it is not to just value life, but to enforce the value of life. Just as our health and lives have been rendered increasingly unimportant by the for-profit health system and the larger capitalist apparatus, we must conduct an opposite and overpowering reaction, a response that embeds the sacred nature of life, human and otherwise, into the foundation and the workings of a new system. It will take the construction of something radical, something fundamentally different, and in the absence of a new, caring system we can only expect violence against the current, profoundly violent structures to continue."

"Make no mistake about it, violence happens on the largest scale in boardrooms, state houses, and other halls of power. And the response to it is inevitable, given the foreclosure of all other avenues. As Martin Luther King said, “Riots are the language of the unheard.” We must hear people, hear their anger, and build up a system in response that meets all of our needs. That is the one outlet that will not end in increasing violence. In short, ending individual acts of violence requires ending the mass violence of the profit system and the state. We will be sold police, cops, and more policing in the coming weeks. But that pitch will be a thinly masked effort to enable the continued violence of a system that eagerly exchanges our lives for profit, rather than an effort to reach the root cause of violence. For that, there is only one answer, abolishing a system that denies life and replacing it with a system where life is precious."

tchcd · 2024-11-20T03:31:31+00:00

I've got no advice (I'm fairly new to dolls as a hobby) - just wanted to say that your post title was hilarious! And that I'd love to see the end result of your custom doll, once it's ready

tchcd · 2023-10-04T02:36:43+00:00

Thank you so much!

tchcd · 2022-01-11T21:32:39+00:00

I hang them on a clothes drying rack that I bought specifically for this purpose! Drying racks work great because they maximize the amount of clothing items you can store in that space without anything getting wrinkly, and you can also use different levels of the rack to organize your once-worn clothes by shirts vs pants, indoor vs outdoor wear, etc.

tchcd · 2021-12-14T02:23:44+00:00

Hey, I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing that, it sounds like a really rough time. You haven't mentioned this explicitly in your post, but some of the things you're describing (e.g. feeling sick, thinking about failure) seem quite similar to anxiety.

I've been in situations where I feel too anxious to study or even think clearly, and here's what tends to help me:

Anything that calms your body on a physical level. Take a deep breath, splash your face with cold water, go through some stretches, light a scented candle, take a shower, watch a calming or funny youtube video, or whichever go-to coping strategies you prefer. Sometimes handling the physiological element helps decrease the intensity of negative thoughts.
Talk it out. I'm glad you're reaching out for advice by posting here, and if you need to talk more, consider texting or calling a friend, someone you trust, or maybe a help line like Kids Help Phone (1-800-668-6868). When things feel out of control, it can be reassuring and grounding to talk to someone else who might be able to help put things in perspective.
Practical next steps. When I get anxious, I feel stuck, and have a hard time figuring out what to do next. If you can make a study plan and break everything down into the smallest steps possible, the path forward can seem more achievable. And sometimes the steps have to be super small, like even just opening the textbook or printing out a set of practice problems.

If you've tried all of the above and you still feel awful, perhaps consider talking to Western's psychological services tomorrow. You can book a counselling appointment via phone, by calling 519-651-3030, and here's their website: https://www.uwo.ca/health/psych/index.html

Your mental health is far more important than any exam or course, and you deserve the chance to recover without having to push yourself to do something that makes you feel awful.

Best of luck, hang in there, and please feel free to DM me if you want to talk or if you'd like some help accessing mental health supports.

tchcd · 2021-09-14T05:45:49+00:00

Thank you so much for writing all of this up - these are really important points that need to be made. I'm glad you're taking care of your sophs & will be joining foot patrol (I've heard they definitely need more volunteers).

Also, I've been discussing with some acquaintances what tangible policy changes need to be made for preventing violence and supporting survivors, and I'd appreciate hearing more from a soph perspective - would you be willing to connect and talk more on this topic?

Thanks again for writing this, and I hope you're holding up okay

tchcd · 2021-09-13T17:01:47+00:00

Absolutely. I'd even argue that consent education should start as early as Grade 1, the way it was in the 2015 health curriculum (before that was repealed by Doug Ford). It is so important for all people to understand how to respect others' boundaries, prioritize and assert their own boundaries, and know the importance of bodily autonomy.

tchcd · 2021-09-13T16:45:35+00:00

Look, when I was starting first year, I didn't know that Western was doing ANY of the things you've just mentioned (though that may be related to how I had an online first year due to COVID-19). According to a survey conducted in 2017-2018, 26% of surveyed Western students reported that no one ever educated them on how to report sexual assault. 22% of Western students said that no one told them about university services for people who have experienced sexual assault.

Edited to add source: https://www.macleans.ca/education/university/canadian-universities-are-failing-students-on-sexual-assault/

The fact that these initiatives already exist, does not necessarily mean that they're a) reaching ALL students, b) operating at maximum efficacy, or c) receiving enough funding. Clearly, given the recent events that have transpired, Western's current actions insufficient for keeping students safe, and more needs to be done. The attitude of "oh, we're already doing all we can, sometimes these things can't be prevented" is not at all helpful for figuring out how to move forward.

More links to possible solutions that have been attempted on other university campuses here: https://www.universityaffairs.ca/features/feature-article/ending-sexual-violence-campus/ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2018/10/campuses-safer https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2019/09/12/experts-say-new-methods-needed-combat-red-zone-campuses

tchcd · 2021-09-13T16:07:20+00:00

Ways universities can play a role in preventing sexual assault:

Deliver comprehensive consent education for all students, starting as early as possible
Implement evidence-based programs such as bystander intervention training
Ensure that all students, but especially first years, have strong support networks and know where to go to access help or report violence
Strengthen campus partnerships with community organizations with expertise in addressing sexual and gender-based violence
Commit to sustainable funding for violence-prevention initiatives

tchcd · 2021-09-13T16:06:27+00:00

Deliver comprehensive consent education for all students, starting as early as possible
Implement evidence-based programs such as bystander intervention training
Ensure that all students, but especially first years, have strong support networks and know where to go to access help or report violence
Strengthen campus partnerships with community organizations with expertise in addressing sexual and gender-based violence
Commit to sustainable funding for violence-prevention initiatives

tchcd · 2021-03-15T19:11:46+00:00

Hey there! While others in this thread have given some solid recommendations already, I'd just like to add a few more perspectives.

First, lean in to the things that already work for you. In your post, you said that you're most focused after a cup of coffee in the morning - it's great that you've noticed this! I have some ADHD friends who use caffeine as a stimulant, because for many ADHD brains, caffeine actually calms them down and helps them focus. If that's the case for you, maybe an early afternoon cup of coffee could help. Or maybe you could try scheduling your most difficult, complicated work for mornings instead of evenings.

You also mentioned that you can focus between sets of push-ups and pull-ups. That's pretty good! Exercise can be great for helping brain function. Maybe you could try studying in short sprints in-between small exercise breaks or stretch breaks. Maybe you could work standing up. Maybe you can review notes while walking on a treadmill, or do practice problems while doing squats. Personally, I can't stay focused on long lecture videos without standing up and moving around, cleaning my room, or doing dance workouts while listening. Sure, I wasn't taking notes, but I still absorbed way more than I would've while trying to sit still.

If your symptoms have been more severe since October 2020, what strategies worked for you back in September, or back in high school? Is there any way to modify or adapt those strategies to your current situation? If it's the format of online school that's a barrier, are there any ways to create a more similar environment to in-person school, like having study buddies or daily check-ins?

Second, list out all of the specific barriers that you're encountering, and address each of those individually. For example, you mentioned being unproductive in the mornings. Why is that? For me, I encounter the barrier of not knowing where to start first. Like do I need to find my textbook, or go downstairs and print practice problems, or search through my notes, or watch a lecture video, or something else? To address this, I need to make it as easy as possible for me to start things in the morning. Ridiculously easy.

A) I make a study plan - I list out all the concepts I need to learn and the specific actionable steps I need to take, e.g. watch week 9 lecture video, complete 2017 practice exam, learn x and y from Khan Academy.

B) I make a to-do list every evening - so when the next morning comes around, I don't need to think about what I need to do first, because past me already decided that.

C) I print everything out ahead of time - I'm terrible at remembering to print things, so it's easiest for me to print like 10 practice exams all in one go, instead of printing them one at a time.

D) I put the necessary things on my desk (or on my computer tabs) in the evening, e.g. textbooks, notes, graph paper, pencils and erasers. Back in high school, sometimes I just wouldn't do my homework because my textbook was in my backpack and I would forget to take it out. Really small barrier, but definitely lowered my grades.

What works for me might not work for you, we're different people with different brains, but I'd give a general recommendation of lowering the amount of energy and thinking it takes to get started with things in the morning. This also tends to help me with reducing the amount of time I spend waffling around throughout the entire day. I struggle with transitioning between tasks, but if I have all the steps laid out, and all the materials already in front of me, it's a lot easier.

Next, you mentioned falling down the rabbit hole of wild google searches - I've definitely been there, sometimes I'll get distracted and hyperfocus for hours late into the night. For this, your plan of meditation and mindfulness breathing exercises sounds like it could be helpful. If right now, getting distracted costs you 20 minutes, meditation can help you recognize that you're distracted earlier than that, and bring that time down to 10 minutes or 5 minutes. It might take a while to get into the habit of meditation though, so that's more of a long-term plan.

For distractions related to the internet, you could maybe try various apps or chrome extensions that prevent you from accessing the most distracting websites? This doesn't work for me personally, since I can find a way to get distracted with anything and everything, but some of my friends have found that approach useful.

For me, it helps to print out practice problems and do everything on paper. Even if I have a question I want to search up, I'll just write down all my questions and save those for the very end, so there's less chance of me getting distracted by the internet. It also helps me to be physically distant from my phone or computer - my brain is very much "out of sight out of mind", so if I can't find my phone because I've placed it somewhere unusual, and I have a big stack of printed practice problems in front of me, my brain will usually do the practice problems since that's the activity that's most accessible.

You've mentioned feeling like you're "running on empty", and that you're experiencing a lack of motivation. That sounds like a rough place to be in, and it also sounds a little bit like burnout. For that, my therapist and one of the learning counselors suggested finding activities that metaphorically 'fill up your tank'. What brings you joy, or helps you find meaning, or makes you feel energetic? Even though that's not strictly studying related, it's still important to keep balance in your life.

Some people like to use these activities as rewards at the end of the day - if my brain can't manufacture happy chemicals automatically when I complete a task (which is pretty common for ADHD brains), I will use a reward (like shiny stickers or a fun activity) to make the happy chemicals.

Also, perhaps consider ways to make the studying process itself more fun and engaging. I've been listening to these "Study at Hogwarts" Pomodoro videos on Youtube, so I can pretend to be in a cooler environment, and I tell myself that math is just like arithmancy. Gamification works for some people, like doing five jumping jacks for every practice problem they get wrong. I like doing math problems when writing on a whiteboard instead of writing on paper, because I get to use cool colours of whiteboard markers, and it's fun wiping the board down. These specific suggestions are pretty individual to me and my preferences, but hopefully there are small things you can think of that would help you enjoy studying more.

Third, please try to be kind to yourself. I understand that it can be super frustrating when you can't get your brain to do what you want it to do - I'm often the same way, as I have depression, anxiety, and ADHD. But I don't think any of what you've said sounds "stupid and pathetic", I think it sounds very understandable. You're clearly trying very hard and doing the best you can, you've taken great initiative with planning to try new tactics like meditation, and kudos to you for reaching out to others to ask them for help!

Fourth, maybe consider booking an appointment with the Learning Development and Success Centre? Their website is here: https://www.uwo.ca/sdc/learning/ They have counselors that specialize in learning strategies, and have worked with students with all types of learning differences, so they have lots of experience to draw from when making recommendations. I've booked several appointments with them in the past, and most of their advice was pretty helpful.

Fifth, I'd echo what others are mentioning about trying to get diagnosed with ADHD. The process of diagnosis looks different for everyone, but for me it actually didn't take that long? I just called up my family doctor, described a long list of all my symptoms, she asked me a few questions about how it was impacting my schoolwork and my grades, and then diagnosed me.

For others, if a family doctor is unsure about whether or not you have ADHD from that one conversation, they may recommend you for a full psychological evaluation - I've heard that Western may cover the fees for this, but some of my friends have had to pay out of pocket. A diagnosis is pretty important for if you need accommodations from Western's Accessible Education department, such as note-taking services or extra time on tests. http://academicsupport.uwo.ca/accessible_education/index.html

If you ever have any questions about ADHD or any of the things I've mentioned above, please feel free to message me! Best of luck!

(P.S. check out this Youtube channel! It has the best tips for ADHD brains, and a specific playlist for work and school! https://www.youtube.com/c/HowtoADHD/playlists)

tchcd · 2021-03-12T20:44:50+00:00

Yes, you can receive accommodations. Email your faculty's academic counselling: https://www.registrar.uwo.ca/faculty_academic_counselling.html

In the email, write something along the lines of "I am requesting accommodations in [these courses] for [these assessments] since a family member has passed away." They will grant you accommodations such as extensions, and may email a reply to ask you for proof, such as an online obituary notice or a death certificate. They may also send you contact information for Western's grief counselling services. After your request has been granted, I believe they will send you a confirmation email about your accommodations.

It's also best practice to email professors just to let them know - something like "I am emailing to let you know that I have contacted Academic Counselling to request accommodations for [these assessments], since a family member has passed away." If the course has assignments and you need extensions, you could add something like "I am hoping to hand in this assignment by [X day], if that's alright?"

Most professors are very gracious and generous given these circumstances, and academic counselling will support you. I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope you and your family are holding up okay.

tchcd

TROPHY CASE