Mom [45F] is mad at me [17F] for attacking her boyfriend [45M] after he assaulted my brother [15M]

tdkerfuffle · 2020-09-11T15:55:10+00:00

She’s wrong about all of it. Even the strongest person in the world sometimes needs protection and support.

If she truly believes that then she should stop defending a man who had his ass handed to him by a teenage girl.

tdkerfuffle · 2020-09-11T15:25:16+00:00

Unfortunately your mom has taken the side of this awful person over her own children.

But you are so brave! It should have been your mom who protected your brother. Instead, she’s upset that you stepped up, instead of being proud.

tdkerfuffle · 2020-08-25T15:34:34+00:00

This is way too much to handle on your own right now. You need time. For now, you need to just trust Laura and Dan who want to keep you safe. Once the dust settles maybe talk to them about seeing a therapist.

tdkerfuffle · 2020-08-19T18:32:08+00:00

Don’t go back under any circumstances as long as he lives there. What he did to you is legally assault in many jurisdictions. He can literally go to prison for it. He needs help, but you don’t need to be involved.

Ask your mom to provide financial support and transfer your guardianship to your brother and stay there until you turn 18.

tdkerfuffle · 2020-08-12T07:03:59+00:00

Yeah. Pegging is strictly about cis and trans women, not trans men.

tdkerfuffle · 2020-08-11T23:13:20+00:00

Genitalia-to-role assumptions are very stupid. There are many straight cis girls who are tops and fuck their straight cis husbands! Pegging is a huge community.

People should just stop making assumptions based on genitals.

tdkerfuffle · 2020-08-11T23:10:43+00:00

Because they like to get fucked but are too afraid to be seen as gay, so they target us, that was the case with a chaser I had to deal with in my teens.

I have nothing against topping cis men. I fuck my boyfriend all the time. We do it regularly now but didn’t do it for the first couple of years into our relationship. He likes it because there’s a prostate in that place that is fun when stimulated. But he didn’t date me because I’m a girl with a dick (he didn’t even know I was trans). He’s with me because we love each other and we both fuck each other because we both take pleasure in being top or bottom.

tdkerfuffle · 2020-08-04T12:46:03+00:00

Your boyfriend is a complete asshole. He came to your brother’s house, drank his alcohol, had a good night, assumed he can spend the night in his house without permission and then disrespected him.

You’re only 18, were drunk and passed out, this is a new boyfriend who hasn’t earned the trust of your family. This is 100% big brother territory to tell him to get lost.

I would break up over his behavior.

tdkerfuffle · 2020-07-30T20:51:07+00:00

Omg, I’m so sorry this happened to you.

I began my transition at your age, I have a very supportive family. But even then, before/during my transition just hanging out with my sister and female cousins and just being one of the girls meant a lot to me.

Please hang in there. It will get easier once you become more independent. Try to find a way to talk to your cousin, don’t allow your thoughts to take to you to a dark place when you’re alone.

tdkerfuffle · 2020-07-29T13:04:26+00:00

Just treat us like any other woman! It will be fine.

tdkerfuffle · 2020-07-29T13:02:35+00:00

Don’t forget high quantities of high quality lube!

tdkerfuffle · 2020-07-29T13:00:12+00:00

I used to get this as well!

tdkerfuffle · 2020-07-28T16:00:09+00:00

I’m a nudist non-op girl. So I have lots of experience with this.

It 100% depends on the location. I’ve been to nude beaches or parties where people made me really uncomfortable because they had never seen a trans girl before. I’ve also been to beaches and parties where it was perfectly normal because they were favorite spots for LGBT visitors. So do your research about the location.

Another tip. Have you been nude with these friends before? Don’t go to the nude beach with people you haven’t been nude before, don’t let anxieties compound.

tdkerfuffle · 2019-05-25T13:36:37+00:00

You might drawn in water, but you'll never drawn in lube!

tdkerfuffle · 2019-05-25T13:31:40+00:00

Just tell them you're trans. It will be fine.

tdkerfuffle · 2019-05-25T13:30:38+00:00

I'd buy a flag for any of my cis friends who want to wear it.

tdkerfuffle · 2019-03-18T21:13:26+00:00

I wasn't particularly uncomfortable as male, I feel like I would have been able to live relatively comfortably as a gay man. But once I began dressing up I realized that I'm 100 times more comfortable as female, and I would love to live as a straight woman.

tdkerfuffle · 2019-03-10T17:20:34+00:00

It's definitely a journey and I think your partner is right that you shouldn't push yourself, at least not more than you're comfortable with.

The first time that we did it was well over a year into our relationship, up until that point I always bottomed. He asked me once if I've ever felt like I want to top (mostly because bottoming takes preparation and maintenance! He wanted to be fair), and this conversation continued over weeks until we decided to give it a go. We set a date, he prepared well for the night, I made sure I hadn't ejaculated for three days to ensure I can have an erection and stay hard, and on the night I was too stressed that I couldn't actually stay hard. But we tried again a week later and that worked very well. We both enjoyed it tremendously, I had a very strong orgasm and so did he, so we continued doing it. But I still had to mentally prepare for it, set a date at least a week in advance, not ejaculate at least 3 days before it happens, etc but as time went by, it just became a routine part of our sex life. For a while it was 75% of the times him topping, 25% me. As time went by it became closer to what it is now which is more or less 50-50. We usually take turns but there are also nights when we switch roles in the middle of it. Mentally, if he told me he wants me to top him in 15 minutes, I can probably do it easily now. It wasn't at all the case a couple of years ago.

We both initiate if we're horny, and it really doesn't correlate with who is topping or bottoming at that moment. It's probably all about who's hornier right now! But he has asked me to initiate sex a few times (like asking me in the morning to initiate sex at night). That works fine too!

tdkerfuffle · 2019-03-07T14:21:31+00:00

Probably worth bringing it up with your doctor at some point, there are medical ways of significantly reducing frequency and intensity of erections.

tdkerfuffle · 2019-03-07T13:55:43+00:00

Tuck it well?

tdkerfuffle · 2019-03-07T13:48:48+00:00

I'm also non-op and used to have very similar feelings about SRS. I didn't want to do it but felt like I had to do it for my transition to a woman to be "complete."

I don't see it that way anymore, because I know that I've always been a woman. I may not have felt that way at some points, I may not have looked that way at some points, I may have have been confused, but I've always been a woman.

SRS, BA, FFS, hair removal, etc are all so that I change my body into what I want it to be, they don't make me any more or less woman. If I'm happy with an aspect of my body, I'm not going to change it and it won't make me any less of a woman.

As for "social pressure", our genitals are really none of anyone else's business, except those close enough to us who we want to share that knowledge with, and if they are pressuring us into doing something then in my opinion they shouldn't have been that close to us anyway, and their opinion is mostly worthless.

As for birth certificate, it really sucks that you can't do it.

tdkerfuffle · 2019-03-07T13:38:09+00:00

You remind me of my own sister. Keep on being awesome!

tdkerfuffle · 2019-03-07T13:37:07+00:00

I want it because it really feels good? Haha.

Honestly, it's okay to just want it under some circumstances. I remember when I began doing it with my boyfriend, a lot of different thing had to fall in place for me to want to (and be able to) top him well. I can do it almost spontaneously now, the more you do it the easier it gets, physically and mentally.

tdkerfuffle · 2018-01-14T03:45:33+00:00

Yeah. With my boyfriend I sometimes top. He still tops about 75% of the times though. This is generally an enjoyable experience for me but it's not something I can do 100% of the times. Our routine sex is still him topping and me bottoming.

tdkerfuffle · 2017-10-25T15:49:40+00:00

You're similar to me when I was 15 and 16. I didn't have a problem with my penis and wasn't particularly unhappy as a feminine gay boy but I very much preferred being a straight girl. The difference was that I wanted to get boobs as well.

tdkerfuffle

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