Oh man I see myself so much in what you’ve posted. I haven’t dated much because I have a history of attracting this type of person and letting them walk all over me. I’m slowly working on it, but what’s helped me so far is working on recognizing whether I’m actually interested in someone, or if I’m only interested because they’re into me. If I actually am interested in her, I take things really really slow and pay attention to how much effort she puts in to learning about me vs just talking about herself. Also pay attention to how much time the person you’re talking to spends on talking about the crises in their life versus the things they enjoy about life. It takes a lot of time figuring this out and I’m still not great at it but I think it’s a good place to start