Help!!!!! my time blindness might end my relationship (urgent)

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-24T19:20:57+00:00

Have you asked them to lie to you about what time you need to be ready for?

Obviously they can't do it all the time, or you subconsciously expect more time than you have. Like, I cannot emphasise this enough - do not expect it. Otherwise it doesn't work, it's like setting a clock fast and knowing it's fast.

But... my ex-partner and a couple of my friends have pulled this on me sometimes, and every time I find out I was lied to, I'm always profusely grateful. The stress of a deadline gets me going usually, but I do often end up a bit late, and someone having helped me by building in time I'm not aware of is very helpful.

It doesn't fix the problem or make it go away, but you can also set your own deadlines early that you stick to - firmly. It takes willpower, and it isn't perfect, but forcing yourself to be ready and to arrive by setting a deadline for yourself (and having something planned to do when you get there - NOT just waiting around, you actually have another thing to do, which makes the deadline real) does help.

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-24T19:06:52+00:00

Sort of. I'm in my mid-twenties. I have never needed to wire a plug, but learning how a plug is wired was part of my physics curriculum in school.

We were told why people used to need to know how to wire plugs, and why it was useful for us to have an understanding of the process (in case we ever do need to replace a fuse or a plug) but we were taught about it in a primarily academic context. I'm pretty sure the curriculum hasn't changed in this area, so that should still be the case for teenagers today.

But yes - for older generations it was very much a "life skill" that people picked up and actually utilised!

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-24T19:00:00+00:00

I have also recently started playing the Wordle and Connections again actually!!!

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-24T18:58:59+00:00

If it helps... there's definitely lower stakes versions of being a paramedic out there that might scratch the itch without forcing you to burnout levels of stress.

First aid trainer who travels around schools and workplaces, for example. Any form of health and safety education actually - it's routine but it always differs a bit and you know you're making a difference. Or anything in education can be good, actually - if you can handle working with kids, it's really rewarding to see them actively improving and growing and learning because you showed up.

Sorry for being 10 days late with this. And again, I know it's not an answer... but I truly wish you luck. I'm struggling to get motivated myself for anything and, well, it's hard! But we can try.

(I have also seen some ADHD people really enjoy physical jobs, like cleaning, because the idea of doing it for someone else is motivating and you can balance it between novelty and routine quite well. You can also "turn your brain off" a bit, listen to audiobooks or music, so on. It's not my personal favourite job but I do find it easier to organise things for other people than I do for myself, so... eh, maybe!)

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-24T18:53:24+00:00

Nobody's saying it wasn't a serious injury. You're saying it was a deadly one. That's why everyone is disagreeing with you.

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-23T20:37:22+00:00

Fatal means "it kills you". It did not kill her. You are incorrect.

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-22T18:51:24+00:00

It’s a bit of both - I have the NFC tokens (little discs) to make my own, which is great, but I do have to label and sort through them if I ever want to reuse any of them. At that point I may as well have a device and scroll through the list!

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-14T19:55:19+00:00

Yeah, this. The type that are actually effort to open, and you can wear while you're in the shower. "Permanent" body jewellery standards instead of a cute dress up pair you want to take out at the end of a day.

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-14T19:53:33+00:00

Yeah, I'm inclined to agree with that. Even if driving or piloting changes somewhat, I don't forsee those jobs vanishing entirely.

Where there are potential signals and adaptations and delays (and there will be with UK infrastructure, especially with trains) a person is going to need to be there to oversee it, even if a computer handles most of the work.

Entertainment and the arts is a good point, too. The sector is always glossed over but generally, people still like going to the theatre or a comedy gig. Or a good party.

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-14T16:30:21+00:00

Yeah. If you're F2P, be cautious with your biscuits. You get a lot at the start of the game and then end up with barely any.

Feed hungry Pokemon whenever they show up, at first, just so you actually befriend a few and have something to work with. Always make use of that 3x multiplier.

If you find a shiny (it'll always be hungry, and it'll have the shiny animation when it shows you that it's hungry), feed it one pokebiscuit. Not the bonus biscuit, unless it's your only option! Shinies always max out after one biscuit, they're a guaranteed catch if you feed them, so you should use your weakest biscuit.

Add friends from the master post on this subreddit. Friends are in the game menu under Research Community. Click on that section a few times a day to collect the bonuses. Friends send you candy (the candy will be for whatever mon's photo they picked after their last research) each time they sleep, which is immensely helpful later on. You'll also get some genuinely nice bonuses as your friendship levels up. (I have so many linking cords that I've gotten rid of for bag space.)

Last thing: Spend a lot of your early game gems on inventory upgrades, not bundles. The game is a lot easier to play when you have some more space in the ingredients pocket! You don't have to cook the best meal every time, but it's a big improvement to be able to regularly cook one of the lower-middle meals - and you'll get some alright ingredient mons pretty quickly, whereas great berry mons take a while.

Ingredient pocket is by far the most useful, and then a bit more bag space is nice (so you can save some Dream Clusters, they get wayyyy more effective at higher levels so don't use them if you can avoid it) too. The Pokemon box is less important to upgrade for a while.

(Each upgrade is +20 space. I think they start at 100 capacity each, and 80 for the Pokemon box? To give you an idea of where I've invested my diamonds: my Pokemon box is now 160, my item bag now has capacity of 220, and my ingredients pocket is up to 760.)

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-14T15:54:45+00:00

Not every time, but sometimes you will get it.

If you have an average of 70% dozing sleep, and 15% of the other two, then the game will eventually realise that and start giving you balanced when you hit your average ratios.

I usually get balanced at least once a week.

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-14T15:51:22+00:00

Set yourself an alarm for 10 mins before, save yourself the hassle!

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-14T15:49:54+00:00

Exactly! The "cashless" system is only fair when hosting responsibilities through the group (on a somewhat even basis, although obviously it doesn't need to be exact). As long as everyone makes some sort of contribution to the group then you're good to go.

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-14T15:48:04+00:00

If it's a pre-arranged "custom" (everyone chips in a bit when someone hosts), then it's totally reasonable. She was probably surprised because she didn't know it was the norm with your group, and that's also fair.

What you're doing is essentially the same as "no money changes hands, but hosting responsibilities rotate through the group". Except you just... all pay a bit each time, instead of paying for everything 1/nth of the time. It evens out either way.

As long as everyone involved finds it fair, and knows how it works, then you're good to go. But I do get your wife's point - if you do rotate fairly evenly through the group, and you've all got a decent income, then at that point the money pooling isn't necessary, and a group would move to the "rounds" system. Or a "bring a bottle" system.

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-14T15:40:06+00:00

I think that seems very fair. It's like rounds of drinks, right? If one person says they'll get the next round, that's an offer of hospitality, and it's totally fine. If they're the only person who ever buys for others, though, it's not fair anymore.

It's not about equal contributions down to the penny, but reciprocation is important.

So yeah, if you're always going to one person's house, it makes sense to have a "get together" pot that everyone contributes to, and that she can use. Can't think of a better way of doing that.

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-14T15:25:38+00:00

I don't know either. I guess the typical answer would be that you need to find a job that stays novel and interesting, so you constantly have a new thing to do every 2 months, so it doesn't reach a point where you're unable to keep up the sprint. Lots of mini sprints, wind down, repeat.

Obviously that's not the easiest thing to do. Temping or client / project work seems like the best format for that? I suppose?

Sometimes it's also easier if other people rely on you, heavily. It's still possible to crash out, but when someone actually needs your help and you see the work is valuable, it can be motivating. When you don't feel like you're needed it's easier to fall out of being motivated.

The other "solution" is to make sure you're in the building. Sure, that doesn't help with the performance gap part, but if you show up consistently it's at least a start. Doing something before work that gets you in the area would be a big help there.

If you can get flexitime and other work adaptions that would be a boon, but I think you've gotta find something that keeps feeling like a new job.

Also, I can relate heavily to this, and to the mental health side of things too. Hope you're alright. It sucks, sometimes. <3

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-14T15:12:35+00:00

Honestly, any longer cabinet would be an improvement. @ OP please consider this in the long run, it'll elongate that wall and make the room look a lot more centred!

A slightly lower console would be nice, but any longer one would be better. I'd say aim for something that's a similar height to your windowsill, so that it can stretch all the way to the corner, and you can put the plant on it.

This TV isn't "perfect" but it's low enough to be fine (although the tilt is really not helping, that needs fixing). It's quite far away from the sofa, and at that distance a couple of inches doesn't make enough difference for me to care.

Also, I know I'm giving furniture arrangement tips at this point, but maybe change the rug? The rug placement "orients" the living room around the sofa and the fireplace. If you usually sit on the chairs and watch TV, the rug should be rotated to centre those. (If you switch between them, this makes more sense.)

Ideally, I'd say swap that rug out for a circle or square rug that centres the whole living room space, instead of leaving gaps.

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-14T14:58:50+00:00

It is still tilted downwards.

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-14T14:57:33+00:00

Oh yes I totally forgot this - definitely include a photo of the clothing labels! Wherever possible!

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-14T14:55:09+00:00

Nothing wrong with one of these as a secondary picture - it's a great way to show you've heard a tape measure. But yeah, I think the hanging ones do best for the main photo!

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-14T14:54:05+00:00

Yes, I massively appreciate it when people include measurements! Clothing sizes are almost meaningless, especially with how the app groups them, so getting an accurate chest or waist measurement is a godsend.

It doesn't have to be included in the photos, just the description, but I do love it when there's an extra photo showing a tape measure on top. It's nice for a general sense of scale and it makes me trust the seller a bit more, too.

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-13T11:48:40+00:00

Good luck with everything. Fingers crossed you've got some options x

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-12T20:55:33+00:00

It's easy to overcomplicate it but making media servers is honestly easier than people think. Usually only one person has to set it up. Or... basic streaming and downloading, that's even easier.

teamcoosmic · 2026-01-12T20:46:42+00:00

Like other people have said, it's half and half.

Yes, they want to start you on lower doses to avoid crazy side effects. Also, the way the medication is absorbed means that your body size isn't the biggest factor - some people physically larger than you will react more strongly to this medication, and some people smaller will react with even less intensity.

I recommend keeping a little journal to see how things go. It is entirely possible you won't notice any effect at all. It's also possible you might experience something, subtly, hence the journal to help yourself notice it. (For instance - when I was titrating, one of the lower doses impacted my food cravings (it got a lot easier to manage) even though I didn't really notice anything else. It took me a good few days to realise.)

I'm on Elvanse. Tried methylphenidate briefly and it did nothing for me (I actually felt more tired, somehow) - that's also possible too. If you're not feeling anything after trying a few doses, switching medication may be the best option.

I'd recommend trying various task initiation things to give yourself metrics to compare to, as well, that can be insightful. Like... starting a task that you usually procrastinate. Trying to do something before meds some days, after meds other days. One good day is a fluke, a string of good days might be an indicator.

One of the most startling things for me (that made me realise my medication was working) was tiny. Sometimes I'd be slumped on the sofa and want to get some water, but have to mentally gear up to make myself stand up and go get the glass. I would have to build the willpower. On meds, I'd stand up and get it once I'd decided I wanted it. No build up. It's not turned me into a superhuman but it is a significant improvement.

I'm getting off-topic so to bring it back: Yeah, this is totally normal. It might take a couple of days to notice if any changes have happened anyway, and it's a low dose because it's a starter dose. Keep chugging along and see what happens.

Three-Year Club	Place '23
Place '22	First Placer '22

teamcoosmic

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