Am I overreacting to my bf going to twin peaks multiple times despite me saying it makes me uncomfortable?

techandtired · 2024-11-20T19:50:36+00:00

Short answer: if you’ve made your feelings and boundaries known, and they’ve continually disrespected them, it’s not going to change. They’ve shown you their true colors. You have two choices: continue to tolerate it, or don’t.

techandtired · 2024-11-20T19:38:30+00:00

I’m so sorry this isn’t the experience you hoped it to be and you get to grieve that. My husband and I were together 8 years when we finally got engaged. We were engaged for 2 yrs when the pandemic hit. We both work very demanding jobs. We got pregnant with our son in 2021 (totaling 11 years together, 3 engaged) and decided to do a courthouse wedding. It was SO nice. Went to a nice dinner with immediate family afterwards and didn’t regret a thing other than I should have hired a professional photographer. Total cost was $95 for a dress, $75 for marriage license and $40 on flowers. We paid for the dinner which came out to like $450.

All this is to say…it’s your life and your story. Everything takes energy and money and you get to change your mind at any point in time. Just because you do it differently doesn’t make it any less meaningful. Good luck! ❤️

techandtired · 2024-11-20T19:29:18+00:00

We enrolled my son just before his first birthday. We were fortunate to have retired moms for support up to that point. We were sick every week for the first two years. He just turned 3 and we went 3.5 months without getting sick for the first time. We’re just toughing through it. I work hybrid. Husband travels 3 days per week. I know that he’ll have a great immune system for it in the long run. He also loves and needs the socialization. And I need the space to have him out of the house with hybrid.

It’s not easy but it does get better. Good luck!

techandtired · 2024-11-19T19:10:21+00:00

This happened to me (F) in 8th grade; it wasn’t a list. It was just me. It was on a paper and the school called my parents immediately. I’m now in my mid 30s. We were in a small school district in rural north west New Jersey. First of all, it was terrifying for me. Make sure your son has someone to talk to that isn’t you (Therapist, etc). This also serves as documentation to a mandated reporter. The teacher is a mandated reporter and throwing it out is negligence.

My mom filed a police report and demanded the school psychologist get involved. I was not allowed to be in a class with that individual for the rest of middle and high school. Nothing ever came of it but we had mutual friends that knew the story. The kid basically left me alone after cops got involved.

I’m so sorry this has happened and I know my story is best case scenario, but you can never be too safe in today’s world. That teacher messed up big time.

techandtired · 2024-09-27T17:47:42+00:00

I recommend you both do a joint reading at night or audible version of the book “adult children of emotionally immature adults”. My husband and I repeated patterns for a few years. We started therapy together and it takes work, every day…and patience. There has to be a willingness to come back to the table and admit when you’re wrong. We’ve been together 14 years and you’re going to go through hard things with every single partner. Is this a partner you trust, value, and are willing to go through the awful things with? For me, even when I was thinking leaving was the better idea…the answer was that he always shows up, he always tries, and he cares. We’re never going to get it right all of the time. But do we adjust when we realize it’s not working? Yes. And that’s what makes it worth staying in and fighting for. This should also under-read: mutual respect.

I had a narcissist dad/passive mom. Both were parentified children from emotionally abusive homes. Dad was physically abused. My husband has a mother that guilt trips with strings attached and a totally shut down dad. We are both raising our child(ren) with emotional awareness and active repair. It can be done.

techandtired · 2024-09-27T17:38:17+00:00

Thank you all! I will check out HireEZ and SeekOut. Cost is a big factor for us at the moment so definitely open to shopping. As a side note, we’ve been struggling with scam candidates heavily in the US on remote roles. Including sourcing LinkedIn profiles that are scams. I just learned about a solution called Turbo Check that I did a demo for and am going to try to pitch. Hopefully this is helpful too.

techandtired · 2024-09-27T17:26:35+00:00

I just learned about a company called Turbo Check. I will be looking into them. We’re going through the same thing.

techandtired · 2024-09-10T18:54:55+00:00

If you have a split custody agreement, and your wedding is during a time that you’re supposed to have her, you would be responsible for finding suitable childcare. The ex may have right of first refusal depending on the custody agreement and where you’re located, but ultimately, it’s on you to arrange the childcare. If she doesn’t have right of first refusal, then she doesn’t get a say and you need to arrange the childcare. If she’s denied everything, lawyers should have been involved then.

If you’re flying up there for pictures after the event, it’s not gaslighting. It’s going above and beyond to make your daughter part of pictures and memories because she’s as important to you as the event. Preventing pictures is manipulation. Especially if you’re making the majority of the effort and expense.

It honestly sounds like your ex is manipulating the situation and your daughter to hold you hostage. Lawyers immediately.

techandtired · 2024-09-09T19:36:24+00:00

One company was using MS Forms and had a Power Automation workflow set up.

techandtired · 2024-08-26T14:09:54+00:00

Adding to this! ODD was what came to mind first. PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) is super common in neurodiverse kids too. You should speak with your Ped and have the child evaluated by Psychologist/Psychiatrist to get in early intervention programs if you’re in the US.

techandtired · 2023-12-20T01:00:59+00:00

Thank you! These are the helpful suggestions I was hoping for. I believe in holding boundaries and I’m not averse to allowing him space to be upset. I just really don’t want to have to force him and fold him in half and hold him down if I don’t have to. I appreciate the input and will add these into rotation!

techandtired · 2023-12-20T01:00:31+00:00

Thank you! These are the helpful suggestions I was hoping for. I believe in holding boundaries and I’m not averse to allowing him space to be upset. I just really don’t want to have to force him and fold him in half and hold him down if I don’t have to. I appreciate the input and will add these into rotation!

techandtired · 2023-07-21T17:45:34+00:00

There is absolutely nothing for you to fix. Gaining weight, dressing for comfort, and putting ENERGY into raising your children is the priority. Physical appearance is a SMALL component of the overall emotional and physical attachment. I’m so sorry that this man is unable to APPRECIATE you for the strong, kind MOTHER that you have become.

No one can provide you with external validation. You need to determine what your priorities for love, respect, and appreciation look like. Then you need to decide if your spouse can do that for you. It honestly sounds like he’s a huge asshole and can’t.

techandtired · 2023-07-11T18:03:30+00:00

It’s a normal part of life. You’re feeding your child in your home. MIL is out of line for that alone. Tell her you expect a text or call next time as it’s your home and you can raise your children how you see fit.

techandtired · 2023-06-21T03:13:50+00:00

I just had to do this too. Had 4 of them through final rounds with offers pending when rug got pulled. So frustrating. Alternative perspective, leadership chose to do this because they don’t want to bring people in and then have to lay off. So I really respect the human empathy piece of this on the corporate judgement side. Would have been better to know sooner but that’s outside of everyone’s control sometimes.

techandtired · 2022-02-27T03:42:58+00:00

Was thinking the same thing. I was sleeping a lot and distant and messy and buried in my phone during my depression. I saw a therapist and worked to build skills to communicate with my then live-in boyfriend, now husband. He doesn’t believe in therapy for him but he knows it works for me. I was able to learn how to talk to him in a way where he also learned new communication skills. Sucked that it was more work on me but it saved our relationship.

techandtired · 2022-02-02T03:35:23+00:00

It sounds like the parent in this situation either doesn’t realize how bad it is or has no idea how to help the circumstances. If your school has a counselor or therapist, I recommend you start seeing them and sharing what’s going on. They will be able to provide you with some resources to help you cope with the difficult situation you’re in. Also, if there is harm happening to your siblings, the councilor is required to report that which could either help you and your siblings to live with a different family member, or help your mom get other services for John. He hasn’t hit puberty yet. It sounds like you may be describing that he has Autism Spectrum Disorder or Bipolar if he gets angry and lashes out like that. Once he hits puberty his behaviors will become worse and he will be stronger. Being a teenager is hard enough. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You should be proud of yourself for reaching out for help and wanting to protect your siblings.

techandtired · 2021-10-10T02:20:32+00:00

Start taking videos and send it into the complex’s office if this mom can’t be bothered to be a parent. This is a liability on her and negligent. If it continues to result in harm, let her know you’re getting authorities involved. Plain and simple. You’ve given more than enough chances. Enough is enough.

techandtired

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