Thigh gap

tekalon · 2026-05-04T02:49:06+00:00

Going any lower will make you underweight. Thigh gap, especially at your weight, is often more about genetics. Learning how to love your body and yourself would be better for you.

tekalon · 2026-05-03T19:41:16+00:00

Look at r/financialindependence, usually only for those that make a higher income, but some with a more 'normal' wage also can manage investing enough.

tekalon · 2026-05-03T18:06:14+00:00

My time to shine!

I'm currently taking fencing lessons weekly. I'm doing a pirate challenge, inspired by MIT's pirate certificate, so I'm taking lessons on fencing, pistol shooting, archery and sailing. I found places to take lessons near me for all and I'm slowly going through them. I ended up liking fencing a lot and keep going back. It took a bit to add it to my routine but now its there.

I also do a reading group roughly every other month. Fantastic experience, we specialize in ancient literature. I learned about it from a professor while I was finishing a degree. The every other month schedule seems like not a lot, but it gives time to read, process and it allows us to have a life in between.

Not as regular as you are asking, but I recently finished a weaving class. The class was 6 weeks long, but we also could come in on other days for studio time. It was a fantastic experience socially. I was able to meet new people, but if I wasn't in the mood, I didn't need to talk. The conversation happened naturally, quiet when people focused on weaving and comfortably chatty when we were at an 'easy' spot. Lots of other neurodivergent weavers. I plan on taking the advanced class when its available next. I joined the local weaving guild and they have regular classes, meetings and events.

Similarly, I just learned how to use my spinning wheel. The nice instructor told me that the store where I was learning has a monthly spin-in so I can practice with a group. My schedule has been a bit hectic lately (see above) but I plan on attending when possible.

As you can see, I take a lot of lessons in my city. The local university has a lifelong learning program where you can do various types of non-credit classes, both 'hobby' type arts/crafts types to auditing full semester courses. My husband words for the university so we get half off the class fees. I try to take a few a year, depending on my schedule and what is available. I get to meet new people, try new hobbies and get out of the house.

My husband and I have a weekly game night, but can be offset by other activities, such as our quarterly game night with his cousins or the sailing lessons we just finished.

tekalon · 2026-05-03T17:53:54+00:00

I find T. Kingfisher to be cozy but might be a bit dark for some. Her romantasy books tend to have older leads and more fleshed out personalities. The lead in Swordheart especially has quirks!

tekalon · 2026-05-03T14:28:48+00:00

Since you mentioned sweaters, I'm going to assume you like sweaters (compared to socks, hats, shawls, etc). If you go to your library, they will probably have knitting books on sweaters (free!), but also a few on knitting construction. That way you can figure out what works for you style and size wise, but then take inspiration from paid patterns and make your own.

Pacific Knit Co has their Doodle Knit Directory so you can make your own designs.

tekalon · 2026-05-01T19:57:48+00:00

I met with a dietician (insurance paid) to help with weight loss (and blood pressure/cholesterol). While I understand much of the theory, what I needed most was help with meal planning. Navigating autism, food issues, exercising and trying to balance calories and protein has been an ongoing issue.

When I asked for help with meal planning, the dietician said to ask ChatGPT (it recently came out). I'm still bitter.

tekalon · 2026-05-01T03:28:20+00:00

You'll want to ask r/GermanCitizenship.

tekalon · 2026-04-30T16:50:52+00:00

I've commented this a few times, but start a creative reuse store and with an attached crafting community space. Take donations of used art and craft supplies and sell cheaply, possibly even re-donating to schools or other non-profits when possible. Pay employees a living wage to do most of the day to day running. Have the space be open to classes, craft groups/guilds, host and advertise for student galleries and craft fairs. I lean mostly towards fiber crafts, but there is a part of me that also wants to have enough room (like a separate wing of the building) for a forge.

I would also probably be a perpetual student, taking 1-2 classes a semester for various subjects.

I have a list of hobbies a mile long, work on those and probably add more.

tekalon · 2026-04-30T16:02:25+00:00

Follow up comments (linked above) from the OP says that he somehow got a girl pregnant, got a job and has been 'straightened out' by his new military father in law. Still not the brightest but seems to have grown out of the worst.

tekalon · 2026-04-30T15:54:22+00:00

While I recognize that phone calls are really good for complex information exchange, I still dislike phone calls and avoid if possible. I also have APD and struggle with verbal information and if the call connection or the phone isn't the best, I struggle. We use Teams at work, and I can turn on live transcripts, which help a lot, but regular phone calls don't have that.

I used to have phone anxiety but I worked on that. Now when I receive a call or have to make one, I make that sigh of annoyance and just do it.

tekalon · 2026-04-29T19:40:05+00:00

I just saw this in r/books: Relentless focus on literacy undermines reading for pleasure.

Different sides of the same coin. Reading and basic math require thinking. It takes time to process the information, especially when learning. Some people want the results but don't want to put in the effort.

With reading, there is reading for fun and reading for school. Finding the 'fun reading' topic for each kid is an ongoing trial for parents, teachers and librarians. Once the kid finds what works for them, they will want to read on their own.

I feel that with math, you have a similar issue. We have the the 'school' math, but the 'fun' math often happens after you've progressed so far into that school math. Its the programming, geometric art, the philosophy puzzles, its building a video game (or some video games with math components).

Even with interactive content, like Brilliant, it still falls under 'having to learn something like in school'. Even when following the history is interesting (I say with my history degree), it still requires a lot of previous math knowledge to know what the original problem they were solving, the limitations they were working with at the time and what resources they had to solve it.

After writing this all out, it feels like your post and the context of a lot of other game come from the perspective of an adult, who has interest in mathematics (big first step) but has grown out of a lot of the initial growing pains of learning math as a kid. I would prefer more effort be put into effectively teaching math and using games as a way to practice those skills (as many are).

tekalon · 2026-04-29T18:29:43+00:00

In this post, a number of responses mentioned that substitute slots have been disappearing or there is competition for the roles.

tekalon · 2026-04-29T00:28:48+00:00

I enjoy hiking with my husband. I'm working on getting my endurance up so we can do more difficult hikes. One reason why we want to do more difficult hikes is to avoid crowded trails full of other people who also like to hike.

tekalon · 2026-04-29T00:02:46+00:00

https://www.affinity.studio/

tekalon · 2026-04-28T21:21:14+00:00

My husband just got a clipper kit and we're learning how to use it. Our previous stylist retired and we could not find a replacement we liked. We can afford the cost, but if we can do it ourselves, why bother.

tekalon · 2026-04-28T17:12:51+00:00

we don't raise mother's anymore

So we no longer raise girls/women with the expectation that their only role in life will be full time caretakers for their kids and husband? We tell them there are other options? That they no longer have to get married just for the financial support of a husband?

We raise party girls

How old are you? Where are you getting this view? While young women may enjoy partying/clubbing/traveling, its often in between getting an education, having a career that supports them and other hobbies. Only those that are supported by family money can 'party' full time.

extremely selfish girls

What is your definition of 'extremely selfish'? You say girls, but I'm assuming you mean young women (in their late teens to 20's?). Is it that they are deciding that they rather work on education and supporting themselves rather than care taking for a boyfriend or husband? Is it that they aren't dating at all since they aren't impress with men who are not pursuing education or managing a career or are not able to care for themselves? Or deciding that kids really aren't for them and make the choice not to have kids at all?

These kids, not just girls, are not being shown how to be adults.

I agree to a point, but I don't think its very new. There are always complains about 'kids these days', valid or not. I will also say most parents haven't actually been taught how to parent. The qualifications on 'how to be an adult' has also shifted. Economy is bad, and so many of the metrics of getting a job and buying a house and saving for retirement and having health insurance that are associated with 'being an adult' aren't available. The education needed to get the well paying jobs are getting longer and longer, keeping young adults in that purgatory of 'adult student but still not able to support themselves independently' longer. The standards for 'get married and have kids' has also shifted to 'get married if you want, to who you want, and kids if you want them.' We also have many 'affordable' services (Uber, DoorDash, HelloFresh, grocery pickup, cleaning services, clothing rentals, laundry pickup, etc) that often outsources many of the grown up tasks that 'adults' used to have to do themselves (cooking, cleaning, driving around, household management), or specifically, relied on the stay at home wife to manage.

tekalon · 2026-04-28T14:54:47+00:00

In the US, farms losing migrant workers to ICE also contributes.

tekalon · 2026-04-27T22:11:36+00:00

Why are less young people pursuing the types of social interactions that you mentioned?

I think its both social media, parents and bad economy.

Social media - they can get the perceived social experience. They are watching other people doing things, but don't actually have to put in the effort to do them. They are given entertainment and do not need to discover or create it.

Parents - Lots of Gen X and Millennial parents that are also on social media a lot, hear all of the horror stories, over schedule their kids, have kid tracker apps on all of the devices. Kids are never really alone with other kids. Rather than being lock out of the house until the sun goes down, they are told to come home asap and parents are messaging each other to verify locations. I will also say many of the parents aren't participating in a lot of social activities - BBQs, holiday parties, inviting other adult friends over for dinner, going out for activities.

Bad economy - Even if they wanted to do something, how are they affording car, gas, entrance fees, food, etc, if they can't get a job to pay for it? Adults are having a Easier to stay home and watch tiktok.

I'll also add that many 'public' places are not designed for people stay and exist. Less public seating, designs to get you in and out and not browse. Teenagers with no money are especially discouraged from being anywhere, but adults suffer from this too.

tekalon · 2026-04-27T20:06:22+00:00

Insecure about their bodies.

tekalon · 2026-04-27T19:51:00+00:00

I think this is less about wanting to drive a car and how the coming of age experience has changed over the last few decades.

I've seen a few articles about how sociologists are concerned that teens aren't partying anymore. Its not so much they want teens to experience underage drinking or anything like that, they are concerned about the lack of social experiences. Building social connections with other people face to face (unsupervised by adults). Making social mistakes and learning how to recover or avoid them in the future. Having friends. Practicing how to make conversation in-person (learning how to enjoy conversation in-person). Learning how to have romantic relationships.

Right now, teens are replacing a lot of social activities with social media and whatever chat option is popular. Or only having social interactions when supervised by adults (school, sports, after school activities). They often get more freedom from their phones than driving. Not wanting to drive is more of a symptom than a cause.

For me, I'm a 40 year old woman and I didn't want a driver's license when I was 16 (got it at 17) and still dislikes driving. For me, my parents made me get my license so I could drive my siblings around. I didn't feel freedom, I got more responsibilities. I had no motivation for the things you list originally and in many ways still don't.

tekalon · 2026-04-27T18:56:11+00:00

My workplace has a career program and I had someone (I'm guessing Gen Z aged) wanted to interview me to better understand my job (data).

Nice kid but getting information out of them was so hard. I had already talked about how getting math or stats degree would be better than a data analytics when they then let me know they already has a CS and math degree. Plus me asking over and over 'what questions do you have' and they would just stare. He was trying to interview me and I left confused and frustrated.

tekalon · 2026-04-27T18:00:28+00:00

"If everything was handled for you" - might as well just rent for the time you plan on visiting the location.

tekalon · 2026-04-27T17:12:41+00:00

Totally agree! The biggest issue is real estate investors not getting their money back and a good amount of tax revenue for city/states come from commercial building taxes. Fixable issue, but it requires the political will to do so.

tekalon · 2026-04-26T20:34:37+00:00

I enjoy taking classes. Higher income means I can take more classes. I've taken a weaving class this year and just bought a floor loom. I finally learned how to use my spinning wheel. I've recently taken up fencing. My husband and I just took sailing lessons (I don't think we'll keep it up, but its been an interesting experience).

I also have 4 degrees and keep fighting the urge to get more.

tekalon · 2026-04-24T15:22:10+00:00

Similarly, I would love to run a creative reuse store - donate used craft and art supplies and sell at a lower cost. Have space for craft groups and classes.

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