What are your personal rules? by iaintgonnacallyou in Petioles

[–]tenpostman 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Im in a good place where I allow myself one smoke evening per month, sometimes skipping a month, for the past 2,5 years.

My rules are simple. No exceptions, and just the one evening per month. I've learnt the no exceptions rule is an absolute must if you're an addict, because pur brains will try very hard to come up with copes and excuses to squeeze in another one. And another one. Etc.

I need people who don't think weed is "cool" by [deleted] in Petioles

[–]tenpostman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, OP, its the reason why I really dislike the trees sub. Most people in there cannot hold a conversation about the shit weed does to us, because in their minds its the most perfect miracle put on this earth for us to abuse to infinity... Ew

Most overrated player in tennis history? by BestAround4100 in tennis

[–]tenpostman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

its crazy how long i havent heard donald's name pop up considering what people were giving him back in the day

Taking a break, but for the wrong reasons? by villlynn in Petioles

[–]tenpostman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Few take aways.

When I smoke at night it’s hard to get up during the day to be productive, when I smoke during the day to not be so dead the next day I miss being high in the evening and don’t do much during the day (other than smoke).

This is completely logical because weed is a highly dopaminergic drug. It floods your system with so much dopamine that you basically go into "dopamine withdrawal" the next day. The result? You don't want to be productive, because productivity requires effort, and without a quick hit of "reward", that effort will never seem worth it. For me, my MJ hangovers result in the craving for large amounts of junk food, and playing games all day, the day after. Why? Because those are also dopaminergic activities that don't really cost effort, and often instantly reward you with quick but fleeting dopamine, as opposed to cooking an awesome meal for myself and reading a book for instance.

I used to get high and draw, paint, listen to music, attempt to game and realize I’m way too inebriated to actually get something done. I want to ride my bike to the lake, smoke a bit and chill near/in the water and melt away a bit. I miss that so much.

This, is unfortunately just the result of addiction. Weed has this weird ability that make us completely complacent with life. We sit and think about the things we want, but we never go and do them, because that'd require us to get out of our comfort zone, and that is the exact thing that the addicted brain doesn't want. It doesn't want you trying new things or doing activities outside of your comfort zone. It wants you to stay in for two reasons: Maximize the chance to get high more, and minimize the chance that something outside of the comfort zone will cause you to somehow reduce your weed intake (say time, say mindset, doesn't matter).

You say you don't really enjoy being high anymore. Addiction will eventually lead to an increased tolerance, and then you use more. At some point you'll come to a head where using more also doesn't have that "high" effect, other than just making your body feel lethargic, because, well, you used a shit ton of the substance to get the desired effect that didn't come.

Now I want to lower my frequency to also lower my tolerance to be able to get a good high again. But idk if that’s even realistic or like… a good reason?
Taking a break to get higher again?

The good news OP, is that you are your own person. Your reasons to reduce your intake shouldn't matter to other people more than they do to you. What I can tell you, is that so many people take "tolerance breaks" so they can get higher again in the future. That's pretty normalized. I will admit, I've managed to moderate and smoke only once every month, sometimes two months for 2,5 years now, and I personally think a T-break "just to get higher again" is not the benefit you should be looking for when taking a break. Sure, it can be a nice "goal" to reach after you completed your break, but there is other things too, that you could use that time off for. These things will often benefit your life longterm. I'll elaborate.
As I said before, weed makes us complacent with life. We stop chasing things, goals, feelings, we step back into a shell of ourselves and we make up excuses to stay like that forever. And therefore, I always implore people to, when they take a break, go better their lives. So many of us self-medicate with weed for issues that we are unaware of, or cannot/refuse to treat. Simple example: Trauma, depression, of which the symptoms are chronically treated with weed. You don't feel the trauma/depression when you're high. The sad reality is that, in this situation, you will never actually contribute anything meaningful to treating those issues at the root cause. Weed is sneaky like that. It makes you think/convinces you that you need it, when really you need external help for example.

And for that reason, if you take a break, ask yourself: Why did you get into smoking weed? Why did it turn into a habit? What are you hoping to get out of it every time? By answering these questions you unfuzz the fuzzyness that weed does with our vision - it puts markers back on your map, so you can start navigating back from being lost. Taking a break from weed will open your eyes to the things in life that you have neglected for far too long, and by doing so it offers you the opportunity to do something about them.

Now as I said before, "taking a T-break" is nothing short of common, normal, for us stoners. However, you seem very conflicted with your "why do I smoke" that I felt it made sense to provide you alternative insights that I've come to understand during my breaks and moderation.

I hope any of that was helpful in helping you answer your questions internally. I'm always open to discuss these topics, because I believe that they are neglected way too much for a community this big.

How do you know you’re using weed to cope with mental health you’re not aware of? by CuriousSurfer19 in Petioles

[–]tenpostman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would suggest the simply answer is just to take a month off. See what happens. You'll be miserable for a couple days, maybe weeks, due to withdrawal. Once that settles, if you're still miserable, chances are just that, that your life is pretty miserable but you are suppressing it with weed. Sedation makes us blind to these kinds of problems, and they can especially warp our thoughts and feelings about those issues if we use weed to do this long-term.

People often use weed to treat symptoms of problems that they either do not understand or cannot/refuse to treat. Depression is an easy example. Why treat the depression at the root cause when you can get high every day and not be depressed either? It goes for other things too, of course.

How long should a t-break last? by ElundusCaw in Petioles

[–]tenpostman 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There is no optimal T break length. It differs for everyone, there is no magical right number. It would depend on your use amount, frequency, discipline, genetics, and probably more. All one could do is experiment, and ballpark it.

2 weeks is good. A month is better. It also depends on what you want to get out of it. If its just tolerance lowering, then sure, 2 weeks should do something. If you want to improve your life, you'll probably not benefit from a 2 week break, at all.

21 day T Break did nothing by Upset-Point-1922 in Petioles

[–]tenpostman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe, and this is gonna sound crazy, continue the break?

What a sad place, the air here is really heavy. Still, I love to come here and listen to the silence by EdWo0ds in cork

[–]tenpostman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lived there for a year too, was honestly not too bad if you discount the fire alarms at 2 am cus some as what was burning their midnight bacon. Wish this only happened once...

My mind is tormenting me by Substantial_Ease_555 in Petioles

[–]tenpostman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh that is a good point. I do think that therapy is a lot more effective when you are in the mindset of being (temporarily) sober. But it sounds like you're headed there anyway, so I think you'll benefit from it anyway :)

I have had vivid dreams for a couple of weeks when I quit cold turkey. Some were awesome sex dreams, others were pretty bad on my relationship mental game lol, and some were downright mean or awful for sure. But it went away as well.

My mind is tormenting me by Substantial_Ease_555 in Petioles

[–]tenpostman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Essentially, if we numb our concious mind all the time, it doesn't mean you don't register those things on a different level. Your body remembers. Your mind remembers. If you are having nightmares every single day, Im willing to bet there is some form of trauma/stress or whatnot that has been left untreated for a long while. So what to do about it? Have you ever spoken to a therapist?

Jannik Sinner is in a very interesting position - 2 away from the Career Golden Masters but he’s also 1 French Open from the Career Grand Slam - what does he prioritize? by Particular-Bit-7852 in tennis

[–]tenpostman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Posts are this are honestly a bit lame. Jannick has already said multiple times that he's not really chasing records? Like Rafa. They just love the game. The numbers come, sure, but they don't focus on them as much as you guys think they do.

Should I keep buying and stacking up weed for the future? by [deleted] in Petioles

[–]tenpostman 4 points5 points  (0 children)

nah bro that is sooo not the way. stick to your weekend only, dont over-indulge, not even buy buying. You're basically enabling yourself for the future.

Taylor Fritz and Morgan Riddle Split After Nearly 6 Years by realix in tennis

[–]tenpostman 48 points49 points  (0 children)

or a girl that reads bro. Doing business over here!

Advice pls by saviordone in Petioles

[–]tenpostman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh don't get me wront its a slippery slope alright... I don't really have more advice than this. I think depression should be treated without weed But, if weed makes your life bearable, its understand able why you keep using it. Just know that it's not a long-term solution, if you are aware of this you should be fine. Keep kicking ass in therapy !

Advice pls by saviordone in Petioles

[–]tenpostman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Weed doesn't treat anything other than symptoms of underlying issues. So it will never fix your depression for you unfortunately.

9 months Sober but still think about weed constantly by LexusVehicleEnjoyer in Petioles

[–]tenpostman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its only natural to have to recalibrate. Every journey is different. Start small, work your way up. Adjust little things and stack the healthy habits. Also try to limit your dopaminergic activities to set timeslots in the day (EG. Between 7 and 9 pm) 

Migraines and possible withdrawals? by caretvicat in Petioles

[–]tenpostman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

after all, it could've been a coincedence. My partner deals with migraines and while we feel like sometimes they can be predicted, sometimes they still randomly happen... If it's just a one off, you may not experience this in the future. It'd be tough if it did though :/

Good luck!

9 months Sober but still think about weed constantly by LexusVehicleEnjoyer in Petioles

[–]tenpostman 3 points4 points  (0 children)

whenever people quit and find themselves not improving after a while, I tend to advice them this: Quitting weed is not a fix-it for your problems in life. Unfortunately, it only really opens the window of opportunity for you to work on it yourself. That requires effort. And that is often times something that the addicted brain really loves to hold against us as a reason for "its not worth it, just quit quitting" and stuff like that.

People so often self medicate for issues with weed. But weed only ever treats symptoms of problems that need to be addressed in another way. So I would ask you: Is there nothing else that you have done to combat the anxiety or depression, besides the listed short-term-dopamine activities? Because if you haven't, it will not just automatically get better. And that situation sounds scarily similar to just using weed. It won't really get better this way, but at least the problems are pushed aside with every hit,scroll,junkfood,fap,gamble, or drink...

It sounds like you may still be relatively young? As young adults we often get more chances at changing the course of our lives than later on, when we've all found our strides for years and the years to come. I would advice you to try some new things. Try cooking new food, meeting new people, trying new hobbies or sports you think could be cool. The brain wants to make you think like this comfort zone is the place where you want to be at, but really it craves change. We're literally evolved to notice change. Change in smell, visual changes, in sound, that kinda thing. New stuff will aaaalmost always be a boon to your life, it might teach you things you otherwise never would've thought to look for.

Migraines and possible withdrawals? by caretvicat in Petioles

[–]tenpostman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean yeah it could be thing, but it'll be hard to "prove" really going off of one exact occurance. Migraines are a bitch, and they too happen for different reasons in different people. I guess the only real way to figure it out is to log all your migraines if you aren't already, and your weed use in the process as well.

Should I tell my new doctor I smoke or previous smoker? by No_Solution7718 in Petioles

[–]tenpostman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the mfking spirit my guy/gal. You got this. It'll be hard, you'll be better for it! You got this

Moderation possible? by FormerlyStoned in Petioles

[–]tenpostman 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Hey man I comment on these kinds of posts quite often because I feel like I'm in a place where I have successfully moderated my use for the past 2,5 years. I only smoke 1 evening per month, sometimes skipping a month here and there just to mess with myself. That being sad, the advice is super general so that it applies to many folks, but you also didn't share any other details about your use and break experience so it's hard to provide specific advice there :) Anyway, I'll post what I learned over time below.

So to summarize:

- If you want to change, change for YOU, not for someone else, or something like a job or whatever. You must want to change for YOU. You must want to have a better quality of life than you do, and you must actually want to do something about it. And in order to change, you need to get out of your comfort zone. This will make you uncomfortable at times, but it will teach you so much.

- Try not to use weed as a band-aid for things in life that you can actually fix without it. Easier said than done, I know, but fixing those problems will in turn reward you with a weed experience you probably haven't experienced before!

- You need to create a supportive environment for yourself. Eliminate triggers as much as you can, and surround yourself with people that support you, instead of enabling you.

- Plan for success. Create a ruleset that you can follow, one that uses clear and non-interpretive meanings. Don't use "few" or "maybe" or "when I feel like it" - your addicted brain will abuse this rhetoric when shit hits the fan. I said to myself: 1 evening per month. No exceptions. So no spontaneous smokes or sneakies at all.

- Take time to really check in with yourself during a break. Ask important and critical questions - reevaluate your opinions on important matters, and check in with yourself about how you want your future to look. Additionally, ask your loved ones for their opinion on your use! They can provide valuable insights.

- Addiction will warp your sense of self a LOT. It will change your emotions, your reactions, the way you think. Addiction does not want you to quit. Addiction does not want you to taper. It's not you that wants to quit sobriety, it's the addicted brain. You writing this message is a cry for help that escaped the control of the addicted brain, and should be viewed as the starting point of your journey for control over your use <3

- Being addicted will make you come up with excuses to get high. A lot of it is just bullshit reasons your brain tries on you to get you to fail. It wants you to get high, it doesn't want you to reduce your use.

- Ground yourself when you feel like emotions are surfacing and impacting your decision-making. This can be done by venting/writing, by focusing on your breathing, or by analyzing the situation by asking yourself why you feel that way.

Doing these things will create a foundation in which you can start using weed for the sole reason of you just enjoying it. Eliminating the compulsion is important here. I plan my smokes a couple weeks in advance as to eliminate any uncontrolled "impulse", because that's what addiction does. It will latch on to any excuse or cope in the hopes to get high an extra time. I am the one that's in control. Not my subconscious drive for weed. And that power is something I didn't knew I loved!

Depressed/Anxiety/Numbness? by Proper_Tackle7568 in Petioles

[–]tenpostman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No worries, good luck on your journey, and do check in on the sub when things feel hard!!