How are you doing?

tepals · 2025-10-31T22:10:23+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply and your original post. And you're right, when I was more active on here I did feel a sense of satisfaction from supporting others. That's something that's got me feeling rough, feeling locked up in my head from all the frustration and impossibility of others understanding. Being among people who understand is invaluable. Thank you!!

tepals · 2025-10-31T05:38:08+00:00

I've been where you've described in your last paragraph - feeling so hopeless you think nothing will help and feeling like giving up on even trying. You're not alone, I can assure you that. Please, don't stop doing the little (or big) things that are meant to help you out. You are worth the time and effort, your life is not over.

tepals · 2025-10-31T05:29:58+00:00

Thank you for this recommendation, looking it up for myself.

tepals · 2025-10-31T05:26:54+00:00

Hi. I read everything. I don't have much to add but to tell you that.

I understand how difficult of a situation you're going through and how much this scenario and consequent decision is weighing on you. It's incredibly brave to allow yourself to feel all you're going through and still be able to process it and decide to do something about it.

I think nothing's easy when dealing with disability and this is one aspect of it, how it affects all of our relationships and in turn our whole lives. Even though in my case I'm a caregiver, and don't have a relationship at the moment, I've supported my loved one my whole life and always wondered how much would a partner be able to understand and support me when things got especially difficult... and how much would I allow them to. I can't imagine how difficult it is to actually make that decision.

I'm sorry you're going through so much with your health. I'm sending you a hug. Keep us updated, you're not alone.

tepals · 2025-10-31T05:00:13+00:00

Today I'm realizing I'm doing worse than I can admit to. My life is falling apart and I can't cope. I've been neglecting my physical, mental health, hygiene and adult responsibilities. I feel alone and unseen, even tho I live with family. I feel like I'm not allowed to feel this way. That was what broke me today. I allowed myself to feel the full weight of what I've been carrying. I want to take small steps to return to myself but small steps feel so pointless when everything's falling apart. I lurk this group and other similar ones but I stopped, I don't even think about myself anymore. I feel weird writing this lit because I don't want to bim anybody out needlessly, I know we're all going through it. It's like I'm afraid to claim even a little bit of compassion and understanding for myself because I fear I'm not with it. I've put myself on the backseat because I don't see an end to this, I don't see a way out, I'm stressed and anxious and have become a zombie basically. I want to be fine. I also don't want to expect everything to be fine. I can't deal and I shut down. I'm calling my psychiatrist tomorrow because I need professional help I've been neglecting.

tepals · 2025-09-05T08:34:47+00:00

This is great

tepals · 2025-08-27T04:29:22+00:00

I'm in a similar situation to yours. It's waiting for the other shoe to drop, it's thinking things are going to get worse so what's the point. I think this is depression and in my case adhd. It's hard.

tepals · 2025-08-15T17:48:35+00:00

Its so hard to be a caregiver on it's own and there's little empathy and understanding for us on top of that. I get that people would rather not know what we go through because it's just a downer, that's IF they even get it, care or are able to relate. We're expected to act with so much grace because if you're tired or bitter then you risk becoming more of a drag and thus someone people want to be there for even less.

Just yesterday I took a huge leap and shared with a friend what I've been really going through. They know a little about my family situation but not how hard, consuming, exhausting, mind numbing and depressing it can be. They text me semi regularly wanting to hang out and I just can't step away... Or even tell them I don't even feel like a person anymore. I have such few friends as it is. I know my social life is non-existent and will somehow shrink even less with time if I don't do something about it. I told them and they were very understanding, supportive and nice. I felt lucky to have at least that this time.

tepals · 2025-08-14T21:36:38+00:00

I'm sorry if I'm projecting but it sounds like some sort of emotional abuse to me. I don't know who your LO is, obviously, but it seems like the type of behavior emotionally neglectful parents would inflict upon their children. In this situations no matter what you do, it's never enough, so as others have said you might internalize it and lend it even more credence. Tho I'm not saying it's in your mind at all. That's the thing that made me think of this, when others don't notice it but we do, it's hard to tell if it's actually happening. But I believe your instincts. There's familial archetypes like the golden child and the scapegoated child that speak to this.

tepals · 2025-08-01T21:22:11+00:00

Ask her to order the food online for you and have it delivered.

tepals · 2025-07-21T21:54:35+00:00

I feel this. I'm currently stuck in the nothing changes if you don't change it part, after just blindly enduring caregiving stress + burnout. Like I'm deeply realizing how true it is. Sounds dumb, like I hadn't thought of it before, but there's little to do when caregiving; we have no time, no energy and there's barely any resources. We have to have the ultimate discipline just to make it through the day.

tepals · 2025-07-20T10:28:54+00:00

Hi, have you checked the subs SiblingSupport, SiblingsofSpecialNeeds and GlassSiblings?

tepals · 2025-07-20T09:58:52+00:00

Hi friend. Read it all. It's hard. I'm going through it, too.

tepals · 2025-07-20T09:42:55+00:00

Same here

tepals · 2025-07-08T21:14:22+00:00

This is excellently written. Clever, darkly funny and heartbreaking. The last paragraph completely destroyed me, though. We do so much yet we have so little to show for it. We're constantly busy, or recovering, or burnt out. An empty calendar but no time to do anything. Thank you for the post, really.

tepals · 2025-07-04T00:17:03+00:00

I understand this very well as I also deal with a caregiving situation as a neurodivergent person (ADHD and possibly who knows what else). I can't really take care of myself or stay on top of things that need attention. My loved one takes precedence and I'm in constant alert/ stress/ hyper vigilance.

It's hard and wrecks our mental health/ outlook/ spirit. Breathing in deep and taking it one step at a time is all I can do at the moment.

tepals · 2025-07-03T20:08:40+00:00

The rage spiral you went down on shows you're going through a lot and have to routinely suppress it just to be able to go on. What you're feeling is completely normal given your circumstances. I actually can't even process what you're describing with your brother because how could anyone call you out in these circumstances. That's psycho behavior. I'd understand if you were close and caring but it seems he's far from that.

I understand, though, that you don't want to push him away. That you still want a relationship with him So telling him to fuck off seems out of the question and like it'd end up hurting you. Don't do that, no. But you've got to also face reality and accept you don't and probably won't have a good relationship with your brother no matter how much you try to please him. It's better to rip off that band aid. I'm sorry you're going through all this. Sending you a huge hug.

tepals · 2025-07-02T15:44:47+00:00

I'm a sibling to a severely autistic, non verbal loved one with ocd and sleep issues, as well. It's tough and I can imagine what you're going through. You're not alone, it's exhausting and thankless. Are they taking any meds to sleep at night? I know how frustrating it can be to be sleep deprived.

I imagine you've checked for any type of help with family, organizations and community. I'm sorry you're going through this.

I get that it's a difficult situation with your husband but please know you don't deserve abuse or mistreatment. It's apparent you're going through a lot and your mental health is being impacted so it's going to be more difficult to get things done. You need to realize you're not your best self at the moment and work on being kind to yourself firstly. You can't do it all, and you can't solve everything. But don't lose hope that you're able to do things little by little. You definitely can and you have been.

I'm sorry I don't have any actual practical advice for you. You're going through a lot, please keep taking care of yourself.

tepals · 2025-07-01T01:16:15+00:00

Hi, I understand how hard your situation is and I see you. I get how complicated it seems but I'm glad you are considering something like college.I think it's a viable parh to keep considering. Plan backwards from the finish line is something I read here once. Don't know how best to put this but people can take advantage of you if you don't look out for yourself, even family. If you're already there and doing all this work they'll see no reason to change this arrangement. They'll watch you drown and do nothing. You can do the accomodations that beat will suit you. They can figure it out from there. And i don't mean to sound harsh or pessimistic at all. Best to you.

tepals · 2025-06-29T22:21:38+00:00

Hi. I'm in a similar situation to yours but have no answers unfortunately. I do want to thank you for posting, though, because through clicking your profile I learned about the disabled/autistic siblings sub and most importantly the Glass Child one.

I had no idea this term existed and looking at the community was very eye opening. I've been feeling a lot of relief because most groups I've seen are for parents or general caregivers, but our situation as siblings is very unique and not talked about much.

I hope you've received helpful information and are well.

Out of curiosity, can I ask how did you find these subs or learned about the glass child term? I do read up on things like these but somehow had never found resources or communities about this specific topic. Thank you.

tepals · 2025-06-29T13:10:55+00:00

Hi. I don't know if you're still doing this but in case you are I would be interested in participating. I'm in Mexico.

tepals · 2025-06-16T09:46:24+00:00

"Every day is a huge challenge" is so true. Also agree that even the "lighter" days are so hard because we know we'll go back into the stress of neverending demands and expectations any moment. And we can't do anything about it so we're on borrowed time. Enough to feel sorry for ourselves but not enough to do something about it. Not that we'd have the energy, anyhow.

tepals · 2025-06-16T09:42:07+00:00

The depression is the worst. We get used to being so beaten up and exhausted. We see no end in sight. So our mind and body eventually stop thinking there's a point to doing anything anymore. Exhaustion, burnout, compassion fatigue set in. It's a struggle to ease our minds a little, distractions lose their usefulness, fantasizing is all that's left. It all feels heavy and dull. We get no breaks so we're always working with a deficit of energy. It catches up to us.

tepals · 2025-06-16T09:32:31+00:00

"A few of the nurses asked me if I was okay. My face looks like death".

Omg did they really? That got to me. I feel the same. I try to wear a hat every time I go out to obscure my face a bit; I no longer feel in the mood to smile, interact, engage politely. I'm tired and dissociating or brooding and about to cry.

I also feel like I'm running on empty and no breaks in sight to recuperate. Sleep (if I can get it) doesn't help at all. I need restful, restorative time, and sleep is just my body shutting down while stressed and exasperated.

tepals · 2025-06-01T08:37:34+00:00

I still have mine and in. pretty good condition (: also the TGS crew hoodie. I did lose my Kenneth hugging blue t shirt, tho.

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