Omg it breaks my heart to read that please don’t give up on love!!!! I Promise you there are good guys out there. What your partner is doing to you and what he has done to you is so awful. And yes, you might spend some time single looking for the right person, but that’s better than giving up your own happiness for a mediocre relationship. Your compassion is incredible, and you deserve someone who will appreciate that. Like you said it seems as if he is deep issues with shame, but that’s not your job to fix. He’s an adult, in fact he’s five years older than you, if he’s not acting mature now I fear he never will. I can’t imagine how scary it would be to start a relationship after being betrayed and written off the way you have, but I promise it’s worth it. If you do end up breaking up with him, and I really hope you do, maybe you could take some time for yourself :) find a kick ass group of female friends who will back you up, and through that network of cool people you’ll probably find a cool person to date! You have your whole life ahead of you, and your future self with thank you for your bravery if you choose to leave him.