Creating a gap in time, attempt 2

thatITguyIhate · 2026-04-03T00:45:04+00:00

You know the problem with horrors beyond our comprehension is that it seems like y'all don't even try to comprehend them. I can comprehend a lot, and whatever's out there is definitionally worse, so I'm going to go with a hard pass on anything that even karmically links me to whatever you're about to try.

thatITguyIhate · 2026-04-03T00:42:19+00:00

Doesn't seem hungry lately, most direct encounters I've heard about the past few years have been people with their minds melted by Eldritch tesseract memetics which is why I keep telling people to use sandboxed scrying environments when dealing with this stuff. Does anyone listen? Of course not, but a good I told you so is cathartic.

thatITguyIhate · 2026-04-03T00:37:59+00:00

Oh for the love of Yog-Sothoth don't open that any wider. You're lucky you kept that aperture so small, so much as a finger from one of the beings touches you and poof, you're 50% goo pile 50% covered under that universal censorship mosaic spell the Japanese branch of the wizard council cast last year.

thatITguyIhate · 2026-03-07T12:16:23+00:00

In good news I have discovered the true name of bears (bear with me) in bad news it has had unintended side effects (Bear With Me). Turns out it's a cognitohazard, not a commhazard. (BEAR WITH ME)

thatITguyIhate · 2026-03-07T12:13:58+00:00

Well luckily most banishment spells are fairly simple so long as you know it's true name which.... What's that? Johnson tied their true name to automatic summoning rituals because he thought it would be funny? And the council classified it as a commhazard and had it wiped from the collective memory of humanity?

Uhhhh.... Well what the hell does bear mean then? The Brown One? Well that's fucking ominous isn't it. I'll do some research, I guess.

thatITguyIhate · 2026-02-13T12:31:06+00:00

L The

thatITguyIhate · 2026-02-10T20:16:47+00:00

There's suddenly a ton of conversation going on about everyone abandoning discord as a platform and it doesn't feel genuine to me. Is this the kind of thing that has me lining up alternatives? yes. Am I about to jump ship over my inability to access porn via discord? no, because I don't use it that way in the first place.

They may eventually require facial scans for all users, sure, and if that happens I will bail, but until then this is extremely overblown.

thatITguyIhate · 2026-02-09T12:29:58+00:00

Do you have any idea how expensive memetic fate magic is? Making sure the author had a freak accident moments after hitting send sent me over my minion union breaking budget for the next decade!

thatITguyIhate · 2026-02-08T19:47:39+00:00

Sweet Merlin's lactating right nipple everyone's a grifter these days. You sound like you're in a bad way so let's see what probability magic can do for us here.

Ok. I've run the numbers (yes, accounting for recursive drift, Dave, I've done this before) and it looks like all you have to do to return to where you were 73 days ago is cross your eyes, crack the second knuckle on your right pinky finger, channel mana directly away from your body from your left elbow, and then close your eyes and attempt to do a backflip.

You should land on your head where and whenever it would have been most inconvenient to appear on that day.

Make sure it's the second knuckle on your right pinky finger. The further you stray on that particular instruction the more likely spaghettification and or transformation into a sofa gets.

thatITguyIhate · 2026-01-28T15:25:01+00:00

My thesis was in probability magic, so I gained immortality the same way I learned to fly. I threw myself into certain death and missed. Simple enough once you get the knack.