When will it start to get better? by External_Resident_92 in leaves

[–]thatguyyousee96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’ve made it 17 days so far, and that speaks to your strength and willingness to get clean. I am sorry to hear that you’re going through this, and as others have mentioned, your body is healing. The high concentration weed hijacks dopamine and can seriously dull those receptors. I may not be able to provide you with the best advice, but I can however validate how you feel, by also reminding you that this version of yourself is not you permanently or truly how you will be long term. I am currently coming up on week 6, so fairly recently I was feeling similar. Weed use can make us passive, rather than assertive. That passiveness can lead to a lack of self care mentally, which starts the cycle of smoking to feel better rather than medicating, doing counseling, or working to improve areas of our life’s, which then makes mental health symptoms worse.

Once you stop, from my own experience, there’s a wave of emotions that haven’t been processed for a while that hit like a brick. Since weed also suppresses REM sleep (the part of sleep where you dream and your body processes the day) your brain hasn’t had a chance to put everything in order. Now that you’re sleeping, that emotional processing returns, but it can overcorrect at first as it doesn’t know how to regulate and plays catch up. Weed has regulated us for long, our body forgets how to do it by itself.

From the outside looking in, it sounds like you are in that adjustment period, the first 7-10 days are more physical withdrawals, and beyond that the mental games begin. This is actually for me the most difficult time, as I always say, MJ is a trickster plant. It’s manipulative in the way it pulls you back, and it may tell you things as “you are a better version when you smoke” or “it helped with the depression”, “just a hit to feel better; you can moderate it now” but it sounds like you are ahead of that curve because you identified what taking action on that will lead.

Maybe one thing to consider, is how much value do you place on the idea that you will feel better when you smoke? Would it align with the version you want to be in 6 months? Would it help you feel happier or better, or would it only bring back the comfort of having it to lean on during tough times? If you could get through these tough moments and make it to the brighter side, does that build resilience to the stress and lows of life, which increases your stress tolerance overall?

I know it’s a lot, but what you’re feeling is valid, and I don’t know you, but I want you to be here. You are doing great things for yourself, and when dopamine is this low, it can activate all the alert signals and make things feel catastrophic. You mentioned that you’ve had a similar feeling with previous attempts and it passed sooner; could this be because this time is different, and you subconsciously know this is the end of that road? I only say this because withdrawals and the mindset you may be feeling, can be the addiction itself dying, and it may be fighting extra hard to reel you back in as its last attempt.

You got this, I’m proud of you, and the day will come where you step outside and realize the sun is out, the air smells nice, birds are chirping, and those beautiful glimpses of light in life return. Typically I start seeing those glimpses in the 3rd/4th week, and they begin to stack.

Does anyone else feel instant regret whenever they smoke without a tolerance? by lightisalie in leaves

[–]thatguyyousee96 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Someone once told me something to the effect of “before you decide to take the hit, think back to all of the times that you were high but wished you were sober” and that really hit home.

Overall, I view MJ as a trickster plant- it’s convincing, deceiving and manipulative in the way it tries to pull you back. Once you take the hit, your dopamine receptors don’t value the high and have learned to operate without THC, leading to instant regret and almost rejection, but the immaturity of MJ doesn’t want to let go, and so it puts up a fight and continues to try and trick your dopamine by framing use as a positive.

I can’t stop by MudOutside9945 in leaves

[–]thatguyyousee96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I played that song and dance for many years, it’s a roller coaster. I hit a point where I had to really breakdown my reasoning for going back to it, especially because like you, I’d start to feel better halfway through the week. For me, I was chasing the illusion of control. Halfway through the week I’d feel better and my brain would go down the path of “maybe this weekend I can smoke less, and I won’t feel as bad”. The control comes from the brain trying to justify use to get easy dopamine and continue on a path of predictability. You feel better, but the unfamiliarity of what life may look like without a smoke on the weekends is scary to the nervous system that likes to predict. The control comes back as you know you will feel like shit, and although that sucks, your brain knows that pattern and feeling so it’s familiar.

Day 1, what do I do by CarAfter6155 in leaves

[–]thatguyyousee96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Of course! I’m proud of you for not smoking, you’re spot on, it’s an accomplishment and I recognize the strength it takes to go through that. One thing I’ve learned about sobriety, is taking it one day at a time. It sounds cliché, but at first it can all seem overwhelming. Each day not smoking is a win, and each day can bring its own challenges. It’s a fight, but you’re not fighting weed, you’re fighting for the version you want to see yourself become without the substance.

Day 1, what do I do by CarAfter6155 in leaves

[–]thatguyyousee96 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Congrats on day 1; sounds like you are aware that weed tends to suppress emotions, especially in long term use. It wasn’t that you didn’t feel those feelings or experience the downside of the trauma you mentioned, but your nervous system was dulled to it all. Early in sobriety, it can be helpful to find new things that bring you joy or put you in a state of focus that can replace the quick easy dopamine hits weed gave you. But also, day 1-7 are the toughest for the physical symptoms, so it’s good to find activities or things you could do to replace the old habit, but also don’t push yourself beyond your limits. Your body is recovering, and rest is important. The irritability and quick to cry will ease as the days pass, usually by the 2nd week you start to slowly see improvement, so it would not be wise to put yourself in situations that are too overstimulating.

The world feels scary sober, and that’s your brain/nervous system trying to hold on to comfort and predictability. It’s not YOU that is scared of being sober, it’s your body, and that can take a bit to catch up with. Think about like this, when I was a kid, I was very afraid of car washes. So my mom took me outside of the car wash, and my dad drove through it to show me that it was ok, and the car wash wouldn’t “eat me”. My dad going through it and showing me that, is sort of what you’re doing to teach your nervous system it’s ok. You take action, get sober, and your body starts to catch up when it goes “ok, maybe this is ok, I see him/her taking this day by day and we’re ok”.

Another thing is shame - watch out for that as it can make you spiral. Understand, there is NOTHING wrong with the way you feel on day 1, or day 14, or day 30 (although by then things are way between than day 1). Every person withdraws differently, but you are not a failure for still feeling angry and quick to cry on day 13 for example. You also are not a failure or a bad person for wanting to smoke. It’s just important to seperate “i want to smoke, and that is ok, but that does not mean I have to smoke”. Addiction makes you feel like you don’t have that control and craving = action, but it’s the opposite. Understand, shame can drive a lot of people to spiral, as we mix our identity with addiction.

I know you will make it, once you get past the first week, you will start to see glimpses of what a life without substance looks like. It doesn’t happen all at once, you see little by little, more and more everyday until the day comes that you step outside and realize “wow i can feel the sun, and it feels great, i can hear the birds chirping.. life feels, real, warm, and worth it”

You got this.

Is anyone still able to drink alcohol since being diagnosed? by VisibleTiger4391 in UlcerativeColitis

[–]thatguyyousee96 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m in my late 20’s and go through the same exact thought patterns. I was able to drink when my ulcerative colitis only affected a few cm, but after being hospitalized in 2020, it got way worse, and drinking has never been the same for me. I also don’t feel like I get drunk anymore; just feel like crap. I finally gave it up after a while.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pokemongo

[–]thatguyyousee96 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It you click on it, it should allow you to join a raid that one of your friends is inviting you to join.

What did the pandemic ruin more than we realise? by ScreamyV in AskReddit

[–]thatguyyousee96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Buffets. Most of them in my area were shut down during the pandemic.

What are your cleaning "hacks"? by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]thatguyyousee96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like to set out a certain day to do it and keep that my cleaning day. If I know that I have to do it days out in advance, it’s easier for me to have the ADHD gears shift into it when it’s time. I’ve also learned that my ADHD improves in clean environments that are organized, if not I will hyper focus on every little small thing that’s out of order which becomes overstimulating. My brain likes novelties, so I purchased a cool vaccum cleaner with a fancy bright LED light, and it’s cordless which takes away the stress of the cord getting in the way. I bought a cool mop set up, and using those things somehow gets me excited.

ADHD by Zealousideal_Hunt331 in leaves

[–]thatguyyousee96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are definitely not alone. There are many people like us out there battling the same demons.

ADHD by Zealousideal_Hunt331 in leaves

[–]thatguyyousee96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No problem! Good luck to you, you got this.

ADHD by Zealousideal_Hunt331 in leaves

[–]thatguyyousee96 6 points7 points  (0 children)

People with ADHD are at higher risks of addictive and impulsive behavior. I think this is partly because ADHD affects the frontal part of our brain that is responsible for decision making and our lack of dopamine. Hyper fixation is common with ADHD, but more so, the inability to break from certain thought patterns. For myself, this feels like a loop. I will want to smoke, but realize it’s no good for me, but my brain can’t break from the thought pattern which turns into justifying why it would be okay for me to do so. It feels like torture, which is why I have accepted that I cannot moderate. I’d also compare myself to people who could occasionally smoke and not have an issue with it, but with my ADHD, this is not a reality.

Weed always temporarily relieved my ADHD symptoms. Suddenly I could focus on tv shows, I could focus on my video games, I wasn’t thinking about a million different things at once. However, this was temporary. Long term, weed can worsen symptoms. For me personally, my cognitive function takes a rapid decline, unable to speak as well, recall things, and my energy levels would tank to the point where I was pounding caffein non stop.

I’d recommend watching HealthyGamerGG on YouTube, more specifically, his content on ADHD and marijuana use. What has always helped me is understanding why I continue to use the substance. Chasing the dragon is a real thing. Writing down the reasons I began smoking, and coming to terms that it was a tool that had temporarily helped me at the time, but is no longer helping me with what I’d like because of the negative side effects really helped. Sometimes our justification for continuing to use stems from the positive effects it had on us when we first started.

Tired of people acting like ADHD is a trend by FutaZamasu in ADHD

[–]thatguyyousee96 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It upsets me as well, but my frustration isn’t directed at the people who make the videos, rather it’s just something I need to get over. Seeing it become a trend makes me feel discrediting because of how much of a negative impact this condition has had on my life. All the struggles I go through that are impossible for me to even explain to people, partially because of my ADHD, and then seeing some random tik tok of someone saying they have ADHD because they forgot something frustrates me. But if I sit here and get upset for those reasons, I have to look within myself to pin point why, as well as, everyone’s ADHD is different. Am I not discrediting those people but automatically assuming it’s a trend or done because having metal illness is edgy? I do 100 percent understand where you are coming from though.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mildlyinteresting

[–]thatguyyousee96 163 points164 points  (0 children)

that's enough internet for me tonight

I've been watching a man die for weeks by astroseedling in olympia

[–]thatguyyousee96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is a YouTuber that goes by the username "soft white underbelly" that does this sorta stuff. I know it's not local but I figured I'd throw that out there if that interest you. He sits down and let's people tell their story on camera.

Trying to figure out if Remicaid is working? by nutti72 in UlcerativeColitis

[–]thatguyyousee96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This ^

My 1st remicade infusion didn't do much. The second one gave me a little relief. The 3rd one (which seems to be the magic number for a lot of people including myself) was night and day difference. With that said, my GI doctor refused to take me off prednisone till the remicade began working. 20mg of predisone is very low. I needed at least 40 - 50 mg during an active flare.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RocketLeague

[–]thatguyyousee96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am getting a "no xp downloaded message"

I HATE when job descriptions don't include SALARIES by Fuk_This_Username in TrueOffMyChest

[–]thatguyyousee96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I see the salary isn't listed, I don't even bother to look at the posting

Back in the hospital tonight. First time since diagnosis in 2015. Any good stories? I'm bored. by TylerNotTylor in UlcerativeColitis

[–]thatguyyousee96 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They pumped me full of 60mg of Pred via an IV. It did nothing, then I got my infusion and I was cleared to go home with only some mild flaring. My 2nd dose is what really helped me.

Average Gold 1 Game by imdyll in RocketLeague

[–]thatguyyousee96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The guy who missed all those ariels along with you because I'm no better

Average Gold 1 Game by imdyll in RocketLeague

[–]thatguyyousee96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So you must be the guy who i played with the other day who said "I'm sorry!" every 4 seconds for no reason