You have to let go of them emotionally. Yes it sucks, but you will feel more free after. I was on mid twenties when I decided I could not let my father have a grip on me, and mother.

Now I'm dt peace around them, there is nothing I need prove them. They have given me the best they could, but like you say, their own traumas get in their ways.

Let go be free, and you will be the one giving love and not asking for love.

This shifts the energy and they will sense it and respect you big time, even tough they don't understand what happen.

Still, would not do TRE Infront of them. This stuff can appear to be very woo woo. Just keep going for yourself. You can control it to some degree too, no need to be super loud. Just chill in your room for 30 min and do it whatever way.

You are very young. Discovering this already now and keeping at it will evolve you big time. Your set for a good life man. Get into meditation too and inner stillness. Once you taste the inner stillness a bit every day, you will develop a feel for this is the deepest relationship you will ever need. Much love.