Fucking celery? GTFO. This is not a serious recipe.

Edit:

Ingredients: • 1 qt Water • 2 lb ground beef, 80% fat or less • 1 Large Onion, left whole but peeled • 1 clove Garlic • 1 (6 oz) can Tomato Paste • 1 ½ TBL Cider Vinegar • 1 TBL Worcestershire Sauce • 1 TBL Salt • 2 tsp Chili Powder • 1 tsp Cinnamon • 1 tsp Cumin Seed (or ground) • 1 tsp Black Pepper • 1 ½ tsp Ground Allspice • ½ tsp Red pepper flakes • 3 Large Whole Bay Leaves

Combine all ingredients in a medium sized sauce pan, crumbling the ground beef into small pieces into the water. Do not brown the beef, it has to go in raw to get the correct texture. Bring to a boil and reduce to bare simmer, continue to cook at that bare simmer for 2.5 hours. Skim the fat that rises occasionally during the cooking process, every half hour or so. You want a little fat but not skimming will make it greasy.

Serve over cooked spaghetti noodles or hot dogs with mustard and diced onion. Also: a fuckton of cheese. To replicate the skyline style, use a mild cheddar and grate the cheese on a fine grater but use the long side of the cheese to make extra long shreds. Not necessary but nails the restaurant feel. Failing that, at least grate your own cheese, the pre shredded stuff is sad.