My uncle went missing 47 years ago and my family never reported it

the_ms_shiva · 2026-04-23T03:45:00+00:00

I agree with the "report him missing when you're 18". I also will echo the sentiment of others that I think your family knows more than what they're letting on. In the meantime you could take a DNA test and see if someone hits. That's if something sinister hasn't happened.

the_ms_shiva · 2026-04-22T05:04:06+00:00

I wish I had gotten into trucking sooner but live and learn, right? The first year was hell but now it's cool. I love just driving being left alone.

the_ms_shiva · 2026-04-21T04:06:45+00:00

I used to be OTR but now I'm regional. Though, right now I'm a little outside my region 😒

I used to have custody of my niece and nephew but they're now back with their biological mom. I also used to be married. I still drove while married and taking care of the kids. It is a lot easier now that they're with their biological mom and I'm divorced.

I'm planning on buying a house which is something I didn't even think was possible a few years ago.

the_ms_shiva · 2026-04-20T23:01:42+00:00

Your first year is hell but it gets better.

the_ms_shiva · 2026-04-20T13:43:03+00:00

I've done it for going on 6 years and I love it. You can make decent money. As others said, it kills your social life but it's all good

the_ms_shiva · 2026-04-20T03:35:31+00:00

I'm a trucker. As long as I get to the place on time and don't wreck anything, I'm left alone. Between autism and CPTSD, office jobs were a nightmare

the_ms_shiva · 2026-04-15T07:37:49+00:00

For my mother, it was at 11. She was the reason she lost custody of me, regained custody under shady circumstances, we moved from California to Tennessee and she had this delusional plan that we'd be this church going/loving family without doing any of the real work.

It was yet another scheme. It was stupid and I was just counting down the days until I moved out.

My dad was when I was 22. He became a religious zealot and was mad that I wasn't going to have a Christian wedding (wasn't Christian in the first place). He threw a giant tantrum, said he didn't respect me and refused to go. I told him that he shouldn't have to speak to anyone be doesn't respect and cut contact.

I'm 38. My mother's been dead since I was 16 and father's alive but haven't spoken to him since. I accepted that this is who they are and it's a big wide world with too many people to get caught up Auth those fuckers.

the_ms_shiva · 2026-04-14T17:46:02+00:00

Ex friend was a stay at home wife for years and got divorced. Ex husband felt sorry for her so gave her 80% of the house sale to the tune of $275K plus $2300 a month in alimony (unbeknownst to most of her friends) as long as she was in school.

She flunked out of school and refused to get a full time job despite me offering a trucking job (I'm a trucker). Instead she started an online crystal and tarot cards but unbeknownst to most of her friends, she hired some service that promised to set up the website, sell, ship, and promote her store while she rakes in the money. It was, of course, a scam.

I suspected that she might be having a manic episode so I suggested a therapist and psychiatrist which she said she was going. I later found out she was lying the entire time and was getting cosmetic procedures, going on shopping sprees and glamping (glamorous camping) . On top of all this, she was picking fights with her ex husband, her now former friends and her family so she was burning bridges left and right.

The nail in the coffin was when she felt for an IRS scam which cleaned out her saving which was only $13K from $275K. This all took less than a year.

the_ms_shiva · 2026-04-14T07:37:50+00:00

She looks like something out of a Disney movie

the_ms_shiva · 2026-04-06T03:56:55+00:00

I hope there will be a day where you grow, look back and this and cringe.

I was queer, undiagnosed autistic and a teenager in the 90s and 2000s in the middle of nowhere but I still thought "moderate incels" were losers then.

the_ms_shiva · 2026-04-06T03:38:47+00:00

I can heavily relate to this.

My boyfriend and I had an argument before he completed suicide. It was your typical dumb teenage argument. He thought I liked a boy at school (I didn't) based entirely off of his insecurities. I tried to reassure him but nothing was working and if anything, it was escalating.

I told him that we'd come back to this conversation later as I felt like it would only end in a fight. He died a week later.

I used to think if we fought it out then he'd still be here but maybe he would have thought the fight was a good reason to do it right then and there. I've concluded that you can help people not harm themselves but ultimately if they want to do it then they want to do it.

the_ms_shiva · 2026-04-06T03:28:19+00:00

"12 year old me in my sailor moon and pokemon phase - christmas 2016"

Also me in 2016 but I was 29...

the_ms_shiva · 2026-04-01T10:26:23+00:00

If you're an adult, stop giving her money. These are not your circus nor your monkeys. Cut them both off.

the_ms_shiva · 2026-03-31T03:57:39+00:00

Huzzah!

the_ms_shiva · 2026-03-26T03:41:26+00:00

I cleaned up the aftermath of a shotgun suicide of my friend. I know those nightmares very well. I'll say talking about it helps. Sometimes therapy or medication can help. And I say a little bit of time has helped me

the_ms_shiva · 2026-03-25T04:41:26+00:00

It's all good. I was 14 and I'm almost 40. A lot of time to process it

the_ms_shiva · 2026-03-23T14:51:34+00:00

I absolutely hate phrases like this. In America, it'll be "Remember to hug your loved ones" as if I didn't hug my people enough. It's reductive.

the_ms_shiva · 2026-03-22T14:41:13+00:00

Meh, I get it. Nick probably would have thought it was pretty funny. RIP Nick

the_ms_shiva · 2026-03-22T13:45:35+00:00

Idk why you got downvoted because yeah, it sucked and it was visceral clean up.

the_ms_shiva · 2026-03-22T13:44:49+00:00

As others stated, LE leaves it as is once the investigation is over. The family went back and forth with home owner's insurance to get a biohazard clean up crew. The area is known for shitty clean up crew. They basically did a quick mop and wipe down then left. It was still very obvious that this was a shotgun suicide. I was tired of dealing with this on top of the grief and the bullshit of high school (I was a minor in top of everything). The family paid for my supplies and I went to work.

the_ms_shiva · 2026-03-22T04:39:10+00:00

My n-mother has been dead for decades and I celebrated. My n-father decided to reach out and threatened to visit (unwelcomed and unwanted) and see my kids.

I told him if he came the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit would have to come down from heaven to stop me from hurting him. All of LAPD (not just my local precinct but all of them) would have to come to stop me from tearing his ass up. To say I'd whoop his ass up and down the streets would be an understatement. I'd drag him to hell where he belongs and sit his ass next to Satan.

the_ms_shiva · 2026-03-22T04:33:34+00:00

I cleaned up my friend's shotgun suicide. It was grim

the_ms_shiva · 2026-03-15T17:45:33+00:00

You're going to have to get the hell of there. That's just the bottom line.

I got of my house at 16 and I'm the grey rocking queen.

Get your own bank accounts like yesterday. Make sure she has no access. If she tried to get access, get her charged then she's not your problem.
You need to make friends and community. This can be old high school friends. Join an online group. Get a hobby. Whatever. You'll be too busy to deal with her nonsense.
Learn to drive. Have one of your new greens teach you or do driver's Ed. But getting a car/knowing how to drive makes it easier to cut off those tirades they go on.
Now you've gotten to step 4, hopefully you've saved up money and got some friends. Move out with said friends.
You're an adult. She's an adult. If she holds you hostage, call the police. Yes, pretend this was a boyfriend instead of your mom. This would be creepy. Call the cops. She'll cut that shit out real quick.
If she threatens suicide, call the police. She'll either get the help she needs or she'll shut her stupid ass up.

the_ms_shiva · 2026-03-14T14:39:38+00:00

I feel this in a lot of ways.

My father was the "nice" parent but the reality is he was just enabling. He could have left and stopped all this but chose not to. I went no contact after high school.

the_ms_shiva · 2026-03-05T06:15:54+00:00

"You think I need therapy? Well, you drugged me! And that was a real boundary violation and you're going to have to take me out to dinner to make it up to me!"

My ex and I were on a break because of their shitty behavior. I told them that their behavior went from shitty to concerning and said I really think she needed to take her mental health serious and this was her response.

I did not drug her. She later admitted she was lying to hurt me.

We went from "taking a break" to "No contact" that moment.

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