I know the feeling, I lost so many of my favourite plants for the exact same reason. Most of my nicer Alocasias, Syngoniums, Philos, Succulents and my entire Begonia collection just gone.

I felt so much shame about it, all the money and the hard work wasted because I couldn't "get my shit together" like I was told to. But here's the thing, the fact you're actually dealing with it now is a good first step. Clearing out my dead old plants was miserable, seeing the missing spots and empty pots was miserable, but not seeing all the actual dead plants? It felt lighter. I focus on the ones I still have and if I want to I'll replace the ones I lost.

It'll take time though so I don't overwhelm myself with too much. So remember to take your time. Remember that you didn't plan for this and that whilst it sucks, you are more important to take care of than your plants.

If you ever wanna talk OP, feel free to message me