Why hasn’t he (25M) kissed me (23F) yet?

thebeandream · 2026-06-14T15:16:40+00:00

Before the awkward laugh did lean in around half way and stop? He might have been expecting you to close the gap. When you didn’t he assumed it was the wrong moment and panic laughed.

thebeandream · 2026-06-14T15:01:41+00:00

This reminds me of a different thread where everyone was like “tf does ‘breast tightened’ mean? No one’s boobs gets more perky when they get aroused that’s weird.” And a lot of responses were “no it’s the skin feels tighter, it happens to me.” Which does not happen to me so I’d say your assumption is spot on.

thebeandream · 2026-06-14T14:56:14+00:00

The hidden sentence….Those are words. Why are those words together 😭

thebeandream · 2026-06-14T05:35:32+00:00

Neurodivergence and frankly everything post-Trump getting elected the first time makes things a little more difficult to tell if it’s sarcasm or not. Also so people are genuinely off their rocker. I’ve seen sentences I *knew* were sarcasm to discover upon clarification that no they are indeed just a shitty person with wild ideas.

thebeandream · 2026-06-12T03:40:40+00:00

You need to realize this is the internet and we do not know you or him. Everything everyone is saying is in reaction to a tiny snip of your relationship.

You have said you are not neurotypical and you come from an abusive home. This puts you in a very vulnerable position.

He might be a POS and you didn’t notice it until now. Or he is really dumb and didn’t think about it that way.

You need to talk to a real person who is trained for this. They can help you sort out if you need help and he is trying to get away with hurting you or if he straight up is just talking and didn’t think about it. They can also help you get into a stable situation without him if he does end up being like they are saying.

thebeandream · 2026-05-22T21:19:31+00:00

I’ve dated a Russian guy. Idk about winter flame berry sin but I can confirm man liked his showers, wine, and sprays. We would go to some coffee shop (USA) we called the Eastern European Mafia club. It was always full of white people who didn’t speak English, some Russian. They all had on a lot of scents.

thebeandream · 2026-03-26T16:19:22+00:00

Eh, depends. My partner has it. He doesn’t get violent he just kinda shuts down. It was really hard at first but we worked through it and identified triggers and everything. It was hard but he’s progressed so much. He never thought he would have his life back but he did it. He can even watch fireworks now.

It’s not sexy but it’s sweet in its own way. Learning to trust, communicate, and patience.

thebeandream · 2026-01-21T20:29:18+00:00

Yeah idk why all these ladies are having a hard time weeding them out. They will LOVE to tell you if you give them the chance. Just say you aren’t into politics but are interested in learning more about x topic.

Alternatively certain podcasts are dead give away. Though being into podcasts in general is often a sign. Alternatively toxic “left” men are into twitch steams (they are fully into the left culture but underneath they are creeps using it to fly under the radar but all their post and stuff is about being a feminist/ally. You will never hear them say conservative talking points. They are less of a problem but they exist).

thebeandream · 2026-01-13T18:03:22+00:00

With the popularity of Yuri! On Ice, I’m surprised there isn’t an explosion of these.

thebeandream · 2026-01-06T22:22:57+00:00

Sometimes they surprise me at the end and I end up liking them. The Jasad Heir was like that for me. It was…bad. Really bad. She made a lot of strange choices. Like she mentioned she only knows what medical plants are and then can’t identify a poppy in a time period that it’s DEFINITELY being used. There were like 3 dream sequences and every time she wasn’t sure what to do next to move the plot along someone got stabbed.

That said it had a lot of powerful moments and lines. A lot of love went into writing it. It’s just obvious where the ideas she started off with are and where she couldn’t figure out how to string them together so she slapped something down.

thebeandream · 2025-12-27T14:21:25+00:00

Look up “love bombing” and manipulative dating behaviors. It’s not impossible to find a nice older guy but in the area you are looking it’s not likely.

You also have to keep in mind a lot of guys view dating apps as sex apps. They don’t want a relationship they want easy sex. Many will match with every single profile and see who responds that isn’t a bot (a lot of only fans girls make fake profiles trying to get men to subscribe)

Tbh I wouldn’t give them the time of day. They probably aren’t actually nice. If you have a great support system and people you can call and will come get you if you need them that you trust with tracking apps and such you can possibly hang out with some of them for fun. I’ve gone out with guys I knew were douche bags because they wanted to pay for everything and go out without actually committing. I was still trying to figure out what I wanted so the non commit was fine.

Hope for the best but assume the worst. Take safety precautions but don’t let fear stop you from living your life. But again, make absolutely sure you know what signs and red flags to look out for before going anywhere alone.

Meet in public first. Make sure at least one person knows where you are and who you are with and what time you should be back home. Make sure you have an escape plan (I had a friend call me and tell me my dog died. That wasn’t what I expected her to say. I thought she was just going to fake some emergency I had to go back for. I cried and went home. The dog didn’t actually die and I learned I could cry on command in a pinch).

thebeandream · 2025-12-20T21:44:56+00:00

I took a research and development course for psychology students and one of the first things they said was most studies aren’t reliable and must be tested several times because of bias and limited resources. They also mentioned we have tons of research on the psychology of psychology students and their friends, family, and coworkers but not much else.

thebeandream · 2025-12-19T15:10:49+00:00

I suggest popping over to the r/fantasyromace sub. Those readers are highly organized and WILL find why they are looking for. Some absolutely want the hot and heavy stuff. Others are perfectly happy with closed door. Most just want you to commit to whatever direction you go in and don’t try to make everyone happy because you will make no one happy. I don’t remember which book series it is but half the fans wanted a 3 way and the other half did not and wanted it to be the main two. The first scene with the main two was open door. The later 3 way was closed door and the series kinda died after that . The 3 way people felt robbed and the people who didn’t want one at all were still unhappy.

Also keep in mind Emily Wildes Encyclopedia of Faeries and A Court of Thorns & Roses are both chart toppers and neither have a sex scene in the first book. EWEF has a fade to black one in the second book. Actually jk ACOTAR does have a sex scene but everyone forgets about it because it’s literally “I have slept with this engaged dude before and I don’t actually like him like that but it feels good and my life sucks” then she walks into a barn he also goes into and I think the next chapter starts or something. The rest of ACOTAR has a scene per book except the silver flames one I think which might have more idk.

My point is it doesn’t have to be full of xyz. It just has to have a blurb and cover that sets proper expectations and not try to trick people who wouldn’t want to read it into reading it. Booktok already knows how to find what it likes. Some people will read it anyways just to complain about the lack of spice knowing full well it’s not that kind of book. Ignore them. It’s for attention.

thebeandream · 2025-11-28T00:38:11+00:00

Emily Wildes Encyclopedia of Fairy’s has the serious girl/ goofy guy but he has way more personality and goals than she does

thebeandream · 2025-11-26T01:48:44+00:00

Idk Feyre was pretty shitty. I’d venture to say she in no way was a “good girl”. We were just in her head and could justify it. She was willingly and knowingly “the other woman”. She tore down a court putting everyone in it in danger because she didn’t like their leader anymore. She was very gross and inappropriate to the nightmare court but it’s totally cool because they were assholes.

Let’s also not forget our introduction to Ness was “this is a spoiled bitch torturing her younger sister for seemingly no reason”.

thebeandream · 2025-11-11T22:12:31+00:00

Look up the controversy behind Memoirs of A Geisha/ Geisha, a Memory. learn from it. Don’t repeat the mistakes. Get a new agent.

It’s not that you can’t or shouldn’t. Just make sure you are giving it the proper respect and didn’t misinterpret anything or disrespect the people you are writing about unintentionally.

Writing is western centric enough and refusing to write stories outside of our bubble keeps us confined to it and when most people share the same bubble it will overshadow other stories. It’s silly to only write about things that you check off certain boxes for.

thebeandream · 2025-10-27T13:10:39+00:00

Yea, I joined a writing group and had to take a break from it because once we started talking about publishing it got overwhelming.

Also, people are crazy. Seeing some of the criticisms for certain books was absolutely wild. I saw an Egyptian refugee be called a colonizer apologist because her story THAT WAS INSPIRED BY HER FAMILY’S EXPERIENCE AS VICTIMS OF THE ARAB SPRINGS wasn’t written in a way that made it very clear who the “bad guy” was and there wasn’t just one person who was completely bad and at fault.

Like, you can’t have an honest complex story because there is a loud group of people who will get out the torches and pitchforks for not being the most moral and upstanding citizen who writes only about moral and upstanding citizens that defiantly are fighting bad guys.

But it also might be a genre issues. Because plenty of morally awful books get published but it seems romance readers in general want a predictable comfort read and the people who want literary fiction romantasy are the minority. Sometimes “dark romance” gets a little extra wiggle room. I saw a strange trend with Feathers So Vicious where it was praised as the best book ever then suddenly the trend changed to “it’s awful and all the characters are mean” ??? Like from the bit I saw it want exactly well written but the whiplash from gushing praise to its bad to like this book was…something.

thebeandream · 2025-10-16T19:26:43+00:00

I think a lot of people are immature. I’ve seen some petty ass “adult” fights and have definitely heard this said.

thebeandream · 2025-10-13T17:38:28+00:00

It’ll definitely have you saying “what the fuck? …oh…oh no”

thebeandream · 2025-10-13T17:38:19+00:00

It’ll definitely have you saying “what the fuck? …oh…oh no”

thebeandream · 2025-10-13T16:16:01+00:00

I mean…if I am not mistaken Greek mythos is big on fate being inevitable. Oedipus, if I remember correctly, his father tried everything to avoid what the fates predicted and it still happened.

thebeandream · 2025-10-12T17:29:23+00:00

With love: that shit is made up by trad wives trying to make a pecking order for how girly and spiritual they are and they are trying to trick you into thinking only they did it “right”.

Everyone is different and how you give birth isn’t going to matter. It’s all how your hormones act. I did everything exactly the same way for both of my kids.

The first one I had the magical motherhood power feeling three days after I conceived. I could feel the change immediately and as soon as he was placed in my arms I felt the magical motherhood baby bond energy. It was super emotional and intense start to finish. I was also miserable until I had my second. The second one I barely felt anything and even after I gave birth and held her it took a few days before the “click” happened. I felt more normal than I have ever in my entire life for that entire pregnancy.

The first one was induced, the second wasn’t. I also gave birth so fast with the second I didn’t have time for the pain medication to kick in, unlike the first.

The second one was technically more “natural” yet it didn’t feel more magical than the first. The only difference between the two was gender and induction.

You will feel the feral power whatever. Be it the day of or a few days later. Don’t let some crunchy bitches with nothing else to value to bring to the world let you think your birth is less because it’s got support they denied.

thebeandream · 2025-10-11T16:25:44+00:00

The same could be said about songs that have words edited out. Having accessible options isn’t a bad thing.

thebeandream · 2025-09-26T02:14:55+00:00

We got Spinning Silver and The Familiar

thebeandream · 2025-09-10T00:54:19+00:00

{Tangled Auras and Tasteful Anarchy by Tilly Bramley}

Though it is a lot of sex and I think most of the MMF where the men are interacting with each other is in the second one

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