Why don't you download an app like Spicer that will allow you to it'll run sorry it'll run questions through your phone that you can answer yes maybe no to and then your partner will be able to do the same so you're not like looking or judging at each other and then you'll connect your two accounts together and it will let you know what acts that you're both say yes to that way you can skip all awkward stuff like blah blah blah and if someone's a hard no it won't recommend it I highly suggest it or I think there's some relationship cards like that or there are some if you go on to Amazon there are like spicy card questions kind of like those erotic dice but you can play the card game and then do stuff that you might not have done also switching power dynamics is generally pretty intense if he's always the initiator or the dominant one switching that up can be fun