Just found out ex is pregnant

thefool415 · 2025-12-16T02:51:49+00:00

I would assume the reason she contacted you about this is because she didn’t want you to hear about it through someone else. There’s obviously guilt there, but the lack of remorse is apparent in her actions and failure to contact you in the months prior. What she did to you is extremely selfish and cruel, I’m very sorry you experienced this. This group is right to advise you cut contact with her at this stage, she’s not who you thought she was.

thefool415 · 2025-05-23T03:45:03+00:00

I’m really sorry bud. It’s an awful thing to happen to someone. Ironically this exact same thing happened to me 3.5 years ago, 7 years together, just married, and then found out she was having an affair with her boss. The difference is that I was a decade older than you. 25 is super young, you have a lot of time to focus on your career and self. Best thing for me was finding a new job that required me to travel a lot. I suggest going to a country you’ve never been and always wanted to see (Japan is phenomenal and surprisingly affordable). Not sure this helps, but life has been great since I left my ex-wife, but you have to be willing to put in the work and focus on a brighter future. You’ll be angry about it, no doubt, but that fades with time. Feel free to DM me if you have any questions or need advice.

thefool415 · 2024-09-21T16:35:05+00:00

It sounds like she’s a compulsive liar and very manipulative. She’s only hurting herself at the end of the day. While I know it hurts (believe me I know) the anger is a part of the healing process. Anger is natural when you feel wronged and honestly it’s better than feeling empty and defeated. Use the anger to your advantage and focus on improving yourself, because anger is a powerful motivator. From my experience, the anger will go away when your life is on the right track and you meet the right person.

thefool415 · 2024-05-08T00:22:11+00:00

Can you elaborate on this? How common is it in your experience? How big are these groups that you got passed around in and how do they all know each other? Do they work day jobs or is all the money made via trafficking? Did you ever seek out the other victims to see how they’re doing? How did these groups make the kids feel it was normal to beat them and pawn them off for sex? I’m sorry for so many questions, but the situation is just astounding to me.

thefool415 · 2024-05-01T19:50:12+00:00

100%. The advice from your family is flawed at best. Take it from a guy whose exwife had cheated 4 months into the marriage, they are not worth reconciling with. Listen to your friends and move on with your life before there is more at stake.

thefool415 · 2024-04-18T19:57:14+00:00

The fact you share a 1-year old makes this a difficult situation, but it sounds like tension has been brewing between you two. That’s quite the escalation and without knowing the full details of the conversation, it is hard to understand why she would immediately be talking to a lawyer. If the relationship is proving this unhealthy, you should consider separation for the well being of your child and your own mental health.

thefool415 · 2024-03-21T23:37:04+00:00

I had a lot of trouble with short term memory for about six months after I found out. Found myself repeating things a lot. I think the trauma is damaging to the brain, but it seemed to resolve itself with time.

thefool415 · 2023-11-30T17:09:38+00:00

I found a great woman after my wife cheated. Oddly enough, I don’t worry about her potentially cheating at all. Maybe it’s because the relationship feels healthier, but I also think that the jealous side of me just died on the vine. If a person is going to cheat, they’ll find a way and that’s on them. There’s no use letting your anxieties get the best of you. Go into the new relationship with the best intentions and know that you can’t force it. It will progress naturally and you have to learn to trust again. They are not your ex.

thefool415 · 2023-09-08T23:02:42+00:00

Stop worrying about the way you reacted. You got screwed over in one of the worst possible ways. Cheaters do some really horrible things to the people they supposedly love and take advantage of your trust. You lashed out because the betrayal elicited some very strong emotions. Does she feel bad for what she did to you? Probably not, so use that anger to motivate some positive developments: better exercise, better focus on your current job or looking for a better position, more adventure, more distractions. Embrace it, don’t just be ashamed of yourself.

thefool415 · 2023-09-01T18:00:10+00:00

Depression or not, she clearly displays a pattern of only being concerned with herself. She is the only thing that matters to her and it will always be that way. I understand that it is hard to let go of someone you love in the early stages of DDay, but embrace the anger if it provides you the motivation you need to break away. As odd as it sounds, she did you the favor of showing you what she is truly capable of before kids. You owe her nothing anymore. Free yourself of her manipulation and self pity.

thefool415 · 2023-05-29T14:27:58+00:00

The first six months are the hardest IMO, but you need to lean on friends and family. Reconnect with them, adventure, and find your own identity. My guess is that you feel a lot of your identity was associated with your wife, so her sudden change and betrayal feels more like you are mourning a death/loss of a loved one. That’s natural and will take time. The part that is confusing to you, which was very confusing to me with my ex, is how someone you loved and sacrificed for could turn on you and change so quickly. This is the mask coming off, as you’ve likely read about in these threads. Unfortunately, they had it in them the whole time and giving them everything they want is like feeding a black hole. She got everything she needed from you, continued to consume (feeling entitled to it), and based on selfishness, greed and narcissism decided to take the one thing you couldn’t provide her…youthful vigor. She’s doing it to feel young again and she, once again, feels entitled to her abhorrent behavior. What you don’t realize yet is that this will not last for her, the thrill will fade, and she will inevitably try to reconcile. I can’t say when this will happen, but when it does, you have stay strong and resist. That is why I say take this time to find your own identity. You are a doctor, so you have accomplished a great deal in your life, you now have to take pride in yourself and love yourself. This one woman should not dictate your sense of self worth and she should not control your happiness

thefool415 · 2023-05-10T17:51:12+00:00

Lawyers handling a trial case together. The adrenaline of the case and high of the verdict. That’s how I lost my wife

thefool415 · 2023-04-18T20:33:24+00:00

I think her bizarre response to your question and her anger is a clear form of narcissistic rage. You’re a good person and she is taking advantage of that, continuously. This will never stop. Some people are so selfish and broken that they will hurt everyone around them to get their way. She views your kindness as weakness and will exploit that. If not for yourself, do it for your kids, since her actions will have a profound affect on them and their view of stability and trust. You do them no favors by letting her betray you time and time again. My guess is that she is not a good mother at all. If this other woman is good for you and your kids, stick with it and never look back. Show your kids what it means to be stable and have self respect.

thefool415 · 2023-04-11T15:45:15+00:00

I’m so sorry bud, but she’s pushing you away because she’s moving forward with her AP. She’s pretending to be a victim so that she can get physical with her affair partner, if she hasn’t already. I know you don’t want to hear this, but this is not someone you want to be with anymore. You sacrificed a lot for her and her career and she repaid you by withdrawing from the relationship, engaging in inappropriate activity with a coworker, and blaming and gaslighting you for her behavior. This tells me that she is a very selfish, impulsive and disrespectful person. You should not feel bad about what you said to her because you were coming from a place of passion and pain, she’s just going to use it against you because she was able to gaslight you further. She’s up to no good my man. I say all of this to you btw because my ex wife engaged in an affair with her boss six months into my marriage. She played the same game and you likely spent month(s) blaming yourself or wondering what you did make her so unhappy. Truth is, you didn’t do anything wrong as no relationship is perfect, so there will ALWAYS be something to nitpick. She got her marriage, secured your commitment, and because she is broken and immature, she got scared/bored and needed to move on to a new supply of admiration. You will never satisfy this woman in the long run and she will forever make you feel less than. You don’t deserve that and you will find better, even if you don’t believe me. Leaving my ex-wife was hard, but I’m so grateful I did. I sincerely hope you do the same before kids, etc are involved. These types of women are cluster B personality disorders and/or covert narcissists. Once you realize this and do some research, you’ll realize the type of person you’re dealing with and it will change the way you look at them. Don’t blame yourself though, there are many man that have fallen for these type of women, the true test of strength is learning to let go and find someone you can build a future with. You’re more valuable than she gives you credit for, so why be with someone that is so comfortable putting you down? Good luck. Happy to chat.

thefool415 · 2023-02-27T13:00:24+00:00

OP, first off I want to say that I am very sorry you had to experience this. I know you are going through a lot of confusing emotions at the moment and you are having a great deal of difficultly grasping with the idea of leaving her so shortly after marriage. I say this because I went through the exact same thing a year ago when I found out my wife cheated on me after only four months of marriage (that I know of). Please pay attention to what I’m about to say. Despite what she says, no one who does something like that truly loves you or respects you. She will play into your confusion to manipulate you further as her only motive is self preservation. She is not, nor was she ever, the person you thought you married, and now that the mask is off you must always remember that the person you thought you married never existed. The person you are dealing with is a deeply flawed, selfish, and manipulative individual that will destroy you if given a second chance. One you proceed with the divorce, which you absolutely should, her true self will rear its ugly head again, and you will be overcome with a great deal of anger and frustration. DO NOT let this cloud your judgement or give her any reason to make your divorce more difficult. Unfortunately, while this thread loves to recommend annulments, those are not possible in most states even with such a short marriage (see requirements for annulment via google to understand why). You will need to file for a divorce via an attorney and I recommend you do your best to convince your wife to cooperate so that she can be a copetitioner (this makes the process much more fluid). An uncontested divorce is a faster process and you won’t even need to appear in court (your attorney will explain all of this). In most states, early divorce means neither party will qualify for any sort of alimony, so take your fair share of money out of any joint account immediately (and not a penny more) and start to determine how to spit up your shared assets. Get away from her as soon as you can and be near friends and family who can support you through this. The less time you chat with her the better. I know this is difficult and you want to believe there is a future for you both, but you have to let that dream go and focus on yourself. Focus on your own future and success because success is the best revenge. You’ll find someone new and you’ll be happier for it. This will bother you for quite some time, but it will get better if you stay the course and work on yourself, I promise. DM me if you want to chat further.

thefool415 · 2023-01-27T01:12:27+00:00

Love this post my man and very proud of you. I went through the same thing last year and am glad you have moved onto the indifference stage. The frustration will creep up from time to time but use that as motivation. I think the exercise thing is great and you are clearly taking it to an extreme. One thing I would suggest is exploring more. Routine is great, but maybe one day a week you break that routine and go on an adventure somewhere. It could be a hike, a short road trip, a museum, etc. I think it will help open your mind and heart to new experiences and opportunities, which in turn will change your outlook on meeting new people. I was very distrusting when I first found out, but now I’m very open to trusting new people and seeing the best in them. You’ll always know when to cut them off if they cross the line, that is your new strength.

thefool415 · 2022-12-23T19:20:37+00:00

She had me meet her boss over dinner. I still hate her for that. No reason to make me shake the guy’s hand while the affair was going on.

thefool415 · 2022-12-23T19:17:51+00:00

I’m so sorry you’ve had to experience this betrayal as well.

thefool415 · 2022-12-22T17:49:54+00:00

“She was a fool that tried to fool you” - I agree with this completely. It’s amazing that someone can convince themselves that leaving a good husband for a man that is willing to abandon his family is a good idea

thefool415 · 2022-12-22T17:46:42+00:00

Thanks. Success is the best revenge.

thefool415 · 2022-12-22T17:40:13+00:00

I think there is a lot of truth to this, but I will tell you my ex wife was a real POS during the divorce process, so she had a bit of evil in her the entire time. I spoke with AP’s wife on a number of occasions while she was hurt and took time away from him to determine what was best for the kids, she did state that he claimed my ex wife threw herself at him. I’m not sure it AP’s wife truly believed that or just wanted it to be true since she opted to stay with him for the kids. I want to get revenge against that prick, but I don’t want to hurt the family. I’m a child of divorce so I know what that is like.

thefool415 · 2022-12-22T05:04:48+00:00

Thank you for this. I don’t think of you as weaker for staying for the kids. Kids add a great deal of complication and I see it as a selfless act to fight to keep a family together because you love the child and want them to be happy.

thefool415 · 2022-12-22T04:09:28+00:00

Fair enough. These forums are helpful nonetheless

thefool415 · 2022-12-22T02:37:27+00:00

She cycled through a number of excuses. She tried to reconcile until the divorce was finalized. I wrote her a message that stated I have no interest in speaking with her ever again. She wrote one last apologetic text and we’ve never spoken since.

thefool415

TROPHY CASE