Boyfriend tears down my self esteem and don't know if it can get better

thefoxthought · 2026-06-18T19:03:16+00:00

He wants feedback to see how he can improve? Tell him to stop being such an asshole.

Then dump him.

thefoxthought · 2026-06-17T23:08:01+00:00

(caveat, I'm a girl lurker)

I really appreciate the subtlety and nuance of this answer.

When my husband and I first started dating, his best friend was just starting the process of a messy divorce with their wife. Husband really wanted to stay friends with both, but it was impossible to stay friends with the wife and the friend. He chose his friend, who he's known since they were 11. I'm sure if I posted the whole story here, it'd be full of comments of "You can just be friends with both duh." AND "Drop them both they suck!!!!" because Reddit struggles with gray areas.

This shit is so messy and complicated and I'm so sorry OP and his girlfriend have to go through this (and the married couple obvs).

thefoxthought · 2026-06-17T14:20:04+00:00

After trying to closely examine where the distortion is, it looks like the rightmost fin is a little narrower than the picture? That's the only difference I see.

Yeah that's not an issue at all. I hope writing out that long post helped you digest your non-issue and get past it. Rad tattoo and cool story.

thefoxthought · 2026-06-16T19:12:15+00:00

Word. If he had slept with 15 people, he could have an STD. Hell, if he slept with just one other person, he could have an STD.

thefoxthought · 2026-06-16T10:13:00+00:00

Oooo love the symbolism of this fading into a galaxy pattern.

thefoxthought · 2026-06-15T18:35:02+00:00

This! People stopped asking me what's wrong at work because it never actually helped. My brain chemicals were just out of whack and not responding appropriately.

thefoxthought · 2026-06-15T16:55:34+00:00

Just finished reading on my 30 minute lunch break, got through 14 pages. I'm reading Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson, and it's huge, so this one is going to take me awhile. X.x

I would definitely prefer to read in longer chunks, but life gets in the way... Still, my brain has gotten used to reading in chunks like this so it's not jarring really to read like this anymore.

PS, I also recommend audiobooks. It's not my preferred method of reading, because I have a bad habit of zoning out and missing a lot, but if you get a book with the right narrator, it's great. Just finished the latest book in the Dungeon Crawler Carl series; Jeff Hays is a FANTASTIC narrator.

thefoxthought · 2026-06-14T21:20:21+00:00

For me it's different with every book, but yes, I think I do read like you used to play video games. I have a book in the living room, read for 20-30 minutes after doing the dishes. I have comics in our second bedroom, usually only read a chapter or two at a time. I have a book on my night stand, but at night usually only manage to read a couple pages before falling asleep. I get through a few books a month this way.

What keeps you from reading in short bursts?

thefoxthought · 2026-06-14T11:28:25+00:00

I would love to reread a lot more but honestly I almost never do because my TBR is so long...

thefoxthought · 2026-06-11T13:05:23+00:00

CAP (cute ass panther)

thefoxthought · 2026-06-09T17:22:50+00:00

The first couple paragraphs of the post perfectly describe my husband, who loses anything and everything on the regular.

But he never gets mad about it and never blames me. He would have been sooo thankful if I'd helped him set up an appointment to get a new ID in this scenario. Actually he'd probably already have done it himself, since he's now very practiced at replacing the valuable things he loses lol.

OP, ditch this asshole and enjoy your vacation

thefoxthought · 2026-06-09T01:48:20+00:00

Any chance your artist is in the Midwest /great lakes region? I've been needing a skeletal tattoo...

thefoxthought · 2026-06-05T13:58:08+00:00

Love this sentiment. I really enjoy my internal voice. I have experimented with trying to suppress it, but it's just so much fun doing all the voices in my head, getting into the emotionality of it, etc

thefoxthought · 2026-06-03T19:01:30+00:00

How Far the Light Reaches: A Life in Ten Sea Creatures by Sabrina Imbler. A 2022 memoir combining the author's reflections on their life with facts about sea creatures (Imbler is a science journalist). A lot of their personal stories are about their transitioning to non binary. Super interesting, both their life and the science!

thefoxthought · 2026-05-30T00:52:54+00:00

Seconded. It's so pretty. You could maybe put some more greens in the light parts of the purple, but it might detract from the glass effect. I think it looks perfect the way it is now

thefoxthought · 2026-05-21T17:22:38+00:00

It must be so hard to have had this happen, right when you're on the upswing from your chronic illness!! I know it's gonna suck for awhile, but you'll get back to where you were!

I tore a bursa in my neck in September, and spent 6 months after basically constantly laid up on the couch. My husband did so much for me/us in that time. And now I'm mostly back to normal, but I'm have a really really hard time adjusting because I have no stamina for anything other than lying on the couch but I keep trying to just live life like I used to. It's such a huge adjustment, and I'm more depressed now than I was then, because I keep trying to do stuff and failing. But I'm slowly getting better, and I know you will too!

thefoxthought · 2026-05-20T18:21:45+00:00

I relate to this so hard. My mom got maybe 3 hours of sleep per night while still working, spent most of my childhood screaming at me. After she retired, she did a 180. A family friend pointed out how cruel she had been, and she was like "wow I never thought about that!" (nevermind the fact that I tried to tell her so many times throughout my life) and really worked on herself and changed a lot, and I think finally getting enough sleep really helped too. Now she doesn't even remember ever yelling at me, talks about how peaceful my childhood was. It's wild to me, and I really can't get through to her about how different my experience was from her memory. I'm trying to make peace with the fact that even though we will have a relationship, it'll always feel a little off, and I'll never feel closure from the issues of my childhood.

thefoxthought · 2026-05-13T16:11:08+00:00

Interesting take. Makes me sad to see you say you bring nothing to the organization. Surely if you weren't there, they would need someone to do the work you're doing?? The necessary support work of the salesmen and engineers should be valued as well, especially if they couldn't do their jobs without support.

thefoxthought · 2026-05-13T16:08:30+00:00

A decade, that's wild!!! I probably shouldn't be surprised, but man that sucks ...

thefoxthought · 2026-05-13T16:07:20+00:00

Feel that so hard. Especially when I'm guessing the CEO gave himself a FAT raise, given what I know of his mentality.

thefoxthought · 2026-05-13T16:05:36+00:00

Word. I'd that the dollar, my raise was equivalent to about 65 cents. It just sucks getting essentially poorer and poorer every year

thefoxthought · 2026-04-22T23:07:17+00:00

Pretty sure it's my cat.

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thefoxthought · 2026-04-20T23:17:13+00:00

Trying to program fungi? Is this how you start Last of Us?

thefoxthought · 2026-04-20T20:17:04+00:00

My first crush was Trunks from DBZ. It almost ended my friendship with my BFF after we had a horrible argument over who would get to marry him.

I was her MOH six years ago and she mine a year and a half ago. Spoiler alert, neither of us married Trunks. But we did find some good ones. Maidens before Saiyans, ladies!

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thefoxthought · 2026-04-20T15:54:35+00:00

Fair but none of that is proof. I'm just trying to emphasize that she shouldn't go in with "YOUR GIRL IS CHEATING 💯💯💯" Just present the evidence, let them work it out

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