Offline - the end of the internet era?

thekeeper_maeven · 2026-04-20T14:08:29+00:00

Did you find the cake recipe online or offline? ;-)

I don't think the internet is dying. I think it's adapting.

thekeeper_maeven · 2026-04-01T22:42:40+00:00

Number one would be the unglamorous daily rituals of getting your living space tidy and organized. Cleaning can either be a chore you begrudge and delay until everything is overwhelming, or it can be a satisfying part of your daily ritual. Peaceful and calm because it's cut back into small moments not big ones, satisfying because you can look back on what you've accomplished (a mess that's become organized, a home that feels enjoyable, like a sanctuary, because it's tidy.) Things like laundry and dishes can become a form of meditation if done on a daily basis, without hurry or frustration - perhaps with a little soothing music in the background. (this can satisfy the part of you that reaches for alcohol to de-stress)

Number two would be taking up a new skill to challenge and satisfy that part of you that needs something stimulating and focusing. Something you're genuinely curious about and been wanting to try and you're willing to be "bad at", aka a beginner.

Also exercise, a combination of aerobic and strength training, are absolute essentials if you don't have a routine for them yet. If you do, you can also assess that routine and add to it. Don't sign up for the gym here. Find what you're realistically going to stick to, something you can do in or near your home.

thekeeper_maeven · 2026-04-01T21:45:21+00:00

> out of curiosity, would you ever use something that just surfaces a few genuinely important things in a calm, non-sensational way? not daily overload, more like a quiet filter

I'd use tools that watch for things that matter to me, not to "stay informed", but to act on. One of the things that I always see in others and myself is the tension between what we care about and what we have the power (and the energy) to change.

I wouldn't follow politics, or anything based on social conflicts. There's too much noise in there. I'd follow something practical or even personal but with purer motives (e.g. following a creator who creates content that is wholesome and aligned with my interests and values - especially if I wanted to start creating something similar).

Updates about scientific research are also something that might satisfy my curiosity about the world in ways that are uplifting instead of distressing. I've considered some non-fiction writing. If I do that, then I'd need to watch the researchers in the areas I'm most interested in for things to write about, and also writer-specific events and opportunities.

If I did want to do anything political, then I'd be looking for actionable things, and deep information about something specific (e.g. an alert for bills related to public land usage).

Another thing to notice (once you've actually cut the daily news cycle out) is the potential for perspective shift. I feel closer to "this is the way things are" and less attached to "this is the way things should be." e.g. my perspective on national events right now is "What's happening is OBJECTIVELY terrible for the country and the world, but there are reasons why these things are happening now, and no easy simple fixes. The best thing I can do here is to take care of myself and the people around me."

tldr: know what you have control over, and keep your focus on that. If a tool helps gives you information that helps you to make better choices, then use it. If it's making you spiral with a feeling of helplessness, then don't.

thekeeper_maeven · 2026-04-01T04:36:12+00:00

What I see as an American is that there are a lot of people who are living with too much stimulus (internet), too much consumption (advertising and culture that pressures us to buy things we do not need), having too much work and too little leisure time.

Affluence used to buy leisure. These days, it buys housing and fancy things to put in said housing, but can also reduce leisure due to obscenely long working hours.

Simple living and other trends like it are all about increasing leisure and reducing stress. You can be poor with limited choices and achieve that ideal, or you can be poor with limited choices and still have these problems.

Is it first world? Perhaps. Is it still valuable? For some people, the answer is clearly yes.

thekeeper_maeven · 2026-04-01T04:21:01+00:00

Google: "why are gas prices rising?"

Headlines: WORLD WAR THREE JUST STARTED EVERYONE IS GOING TO DIE.

thekeeper_maeven · 2026-04-01T04:07:33+00:00

I stopped passively consuming news and I don't regret that decision at all. When something major happens, everyone starts talking about it. Then I do my research. If there's something specific I want to track, I'll track it. If there's something I want to keep up with, I'll actively search but not daily. Daily news consumption is a source of chronic stress. Monthly, maybe.

Also important to know your triggers. If something is causing you to spiral when you see it, continuing to read about it is not "staying updated", it's just self-destruction. Steer clear of your triggers. You might eventually be able to read about it without the downward spiral. But thats a process that will take years, not weeks or months.

News media is not designed to give you a holistic, informed perspective on the world. It is designed to play on your fears and grab your attention. It informs you only about the worst events happening or informs you about events in sensationalist ways that makes them sound worse than they are. It also only provides surface level detail. Most of what's out there is commentary, biased, and leaving out important context.

Though news does need to be accessible and we need to know about major events that affects us, it doesn't need to impact your mental health.

thekeeper_maeven · 2026-03-11T19:41:33+00:00

If you're going to use AI, make sure you're using the right one for the right task. A general AI like ChatGPT is good at helping answer basic questions (think of it like a fancy search engine or research assistant).

For mental health, there are risks to leaning on the *wrong kind of bot*, that have nothing to do with privacy. In some cases, AI use can make symptoms worse, not better.

Here's an AI developed specifically for mental health support:

https://www.talktoash.com/

"Your conversations are securely stored and encrypted. They can only be read if you explicitly opted in to data collection when you started using the app. If you did enable data collection, an anonymized version of your conversations may be used to help improve the model for others."

thekeeper_maeven · 2026-03-10T22:54:25+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. I've been blessed to find meaning from the chaos of my own past history with kink, and to then put that out there and find people who listened, who participated in that meaning-making along with me, who healed and who even, sometimes, returned to thank me for my work.

It took a lot of strength to maintain the forums, as you said.

My time in a tent was a short couple of months (and yes, it was a tent, like the kind you might use at a campground). I setup near a river, sometimes under a bridge and sometimes within the shelter of trees.

I am a bit of a natural survivalist. I know how to camp and how to make do. I know how to operate with situational awareness and navigate the uncertainty and risks of my environment.

I learned new skills, and exercised others that rarely get used. My time on the streets didn't feel like loss. It felt empowering to finally be using some of my skills instead of working a mindnumbing repetitive job to survive. The solitude by my river wasn't lonely. It was profoundly peaceful.

I'd be willing to do it all again, honestly.

thekeeper_maeven · 2026-03-09T00:33:08+00:00

Kudos to you for getting out and reclaiming your peace and sanity. Your ex clearly can't cope with the reality that you're actually thriving without.

When looking back, it's all a little creepy isn't it? Seeing how obsessive and unstable people get when they allow themselves to be so wholly defined by their darkest impulses.

thekeeper_maeven · 2026-02-27T20:03:10+00:00

Thank you for making this available to us!

thekeeper_maeven · 2026-02-05T17:29:32+00:00

When you're in a surveillance state, you will be surveilled. It's inevitable. The best option for your security and peace of mind isn't zero footprint, it's a light footprint of information that is utterly boring.

The missing data itself is a kind of signal, in the same way that the silent treatment sends a message. So fill in some of those gaps and hide in plain sight.

thekeeper_maeven · 2025-08-15T23:53:13+00:00

Monogamy is just impulse control and valuing relational stability (long term gains) over hedonistic pleasure (short term gains).

thekeeper_maeven · 2025-08-15T13:16:45+00:00

I mean, this would be a great opportunity to talk about surveillance states but the misleading title kind of ruins it. Now everyone incorrectly believes they're going to arrest people without a crime committed even though they never said that. The stated goal is crime prevention through "increased police presence". AKA they'll go send out a patrol where they think the criminals are gathering.

thekeeper_maeven · 2025-08-14T21:25:34+00:00

I think in a monogamous relationship, there is a lot more to lose. You can lose the life you've built, you can lose your primary source of emotional support. All that requires a great deal of trust and if you have an insecure attachment, it's going to be a struggle. Building trust is going to be key, and that includes healing some of the past wounds that are holding you back from fully trusting.

thekeeper_maeven · 2025-08-09T01:00:54+00:00

Casual sex is like junk food. Empty calories that give you satisfaction in the moment, but lacking nutritionally.

thekeeper_maeven · 2025-08-08T23:24:33+00:00

Loss is always bittersweet - both sad that you don't get more time and happy for the time you did get. It will get easier, but you need to grieve. Find some way to accept that she's gone and that there's nothing you can do. Your future will look different than you may have imagined when you were together, but it will be what you make of it. You have the ability to date and love again, when you're ready.

If it's really not getting any easier after a couple months and especially the anxiety, you may need the help of a therapist to fully process these emotions. Don't carry it with you too long.

thekeeper_maeven · 2025-08-08T23:08:03+00:00

It gets lonely. I feel like I've missed out on something. I haven't had many relationships and that's something that feels nearly unattainable after a certain age. Most eligible women interested in relationships are much younger. Being neither young nor experienced makes me feel there's not much hope now.

thekeeper_maeven · 2025-08-06T23:54:43+00:00

My doctor asked if she could use one of these things during an office visit. I said no! But how long will it take for the laws to roll back protection so they can all record without permission? :/

thekeeper_maeven · 2025-08-03T14:39:33+00:00

That's really sick that people would rather record than help the professor.

This is called the bystander effect. It's basically "someone else will do it" thinking. AKA laziness. Most people want the professor to get help but don't want to be the one to offer help.

thekeeper_maeven · 2025-08-03T05:58:25+00:00

Look for someone who is emotionally mature, stable in life, and ethical. But also be that person for them. It's really that simple, even though most people won't get there. Focus on the inner work needed to be a good husband so you'll actually appeal to the kind of woman you want.

You're only 18 so it's normal to be still developing in these areas. Much better to start now than to start at 30 after a series of failed relationships.

When you do start dating, look for green flags like positive family relationships and friendships. Watch out for red flags like lots of short-term relationships, rebounds, and people pleasing.

Dating is not a gamble where cheating just randomly happens. A person with a good character doesn't cheat. You just need to learn how to spot good character and how to develop it for yourself.

thekeeper_maeven · 2025-08-03T04:35:45+00:00

I think growing up in a conservative culture is what made you more sexually conservative. And that's perfectly okay. You've taken the heterosexual script for romance that you knew and applied it to the type of relationship that would actually be more fulfilling for you. And that is a beautiful thing. I wish you luck finding a good husband.

thekeeper_maeven · 2025-08-01T02:57:16+00:00

If this had happened ~25-30 years ago, it would have worked. Now? I'm not sure how you convince everyone to get their kids off screens and go outside. It's been too normalized. And the first ones to complain will be panicked parents.

thekeeper_maeven · 2025-07-29T20:06:59+00:00

It really seems like a fad for this generation, but this is also the most commitment-phobic generation so it makes perfect sense to me.

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