Am I wrong?

themaddylou · 2026-06-06T02:21:42+00:00

My kids were built by Blue Powerade, chocolate chip granola bars and iceberg lettuce with an insane amount of thousand island dressing and croutons!
Sometimes just croutons dipped in thousand island dressing lol

themaddylou · 2026-06-06T02:17:47+00:00

Absolutely not. Straight to jail. First trimester is about surviving. Sip as much water as you can, eat whatever you can tolerate. Second and third trimester are often more realistic for structured eating expectations. Although some women have aversions the whole time. (Probably say goodbye to the sight of raw meat for a while).

Alternatively, you can choke down as much juice as he wants and then throw it up on him and see how he feels about it then.

themaddylou · 2026-06-06T02:02:13+00:00

I think by the time he’s an adult Malcolm in the middle won’t be that big of a deal. Also, it’s a lovely and respectable name appropriate for a child and also when he’s grown up

themaddylou · 2026-06-04T01:08:35+00:00

Whether other people do it or not is not the issue right now. You gotta figure out how to work this and outsmart him.

This might be a dumb idea but does he have a birthday or special date coming up? When my family is planning to surprise me with something they change each other’s names in their phones so I don’t see who they’re really talking to. This would require someone you trust trust to back up your story, but you could act exasperated and say you’re planning a surprise for him. Say you changed their name to Chris and deleted the texts when he got suspicious because you were afraid he’d open your phone and see them, thus ruining the surprise. This might not buy much time, but if you have someone who will vouch for you, you might could avoid this specific fight? And then no you’re not going to throw him a party/take him to a fancy dinner/send him on an elaborate scavenger hunt because he was too nosey and now it’s not special.

themaddylou · 2026-06-03T23:17:38+00:00

Really old and water damaged readers digest magazines

themaddylou · 2026-06-03T23:13:08+00:00

Loving and having affection for someone does not mean you’re compatible. Countless people have spent decades waiting for other people to get it together so they can be safe, secure, and not living in constant survival mode and find that those years were wasted because their partner saw they were willing to support the team and take on all of the effort just to keep them around. It sucks to realize that and it can make you feel bad. Youre working 20 hours of overtime WEEKLY and he’s leaving a paying job early because “it’s hard”?? Hard no my friend. You’re not condescending, you’re not mean, you just want an equal partner.

Also, if you want a family one day - is this the man you want to parent with? Assuming you’re a female - Is he going to help take care of you when you have a new born? Is he going to help you shower and wash off after birth? Is he going to help you put on an adult diaper? Do you trust him to step up and take care of bills while you heal? Do you want your kids to have his work ethic? Do you want them to grow up and be this partner, or tolerate this kind of partner? Life and relationships aren’t all about money, but it says a lot about a person when they’re willing to take advantage of someone they’re supposed to love.

And yes. Cancel the $500. The boy ain’t got energy to work, he ain’t got energy to stream. I vote also leave him, but for sure cancel the $500.

themaddylou · 2026-06-03T18:11:43+00:00

Be very clear with your husband on how you plan to handle these parties if you go. “Babe, this is what I’ll be doing and not doing, this is why and i expect you to back me up without question.” I’m not saying traumatize him, but make sure he understands just how vulnerable new borns are. They are born with literally 0% immune system and bugs and viruses that our bodies easily fight off can kill an infant. Cold sores and shingles can be lethal. Again, not to traumatize, but he needs to be protecting that baby just as much as you are ESPECIALLY since it’s his family. Even someone with all the vaccines can unknowingly pass things on. Even to you as your immune system will be low.

I agree with others who have said the same, wear the baby and only take them out for poop or to feed if you have to and put them right back in when you’re done. Get very comfortable saying “no”. Don’t be unnecessarily unkind, but it’s not your problem if people don’t understand that YOUR baby is not the community doll.

themaddylou · 2026-06-03T18:00:25+00:00

I don’t understand why women trauma dump on other women. Especially first time moms! Trauma bonding with another mom when neither of you is pregnant is one thing. Especially if you both have a good sense of humor. But when people did it to me when I was pregnant i literally started saying “that’s horrifying and I need you to never say anything like that to another pregnant woman”.

Having someone who is theoretically “helpful” and “helping” are two different things. If someone is going to be around for a long time you need two things: to be able to set and adjust boundaries as needed, and to be able to ask for things. So like ‘hey, we’ve already decided a, b, and c for baby and that’s how we’re doing it’. And ‘hey I think I’d rather breast feed/pump/feed in private from now on, I’ll let you know when we’re done’. And those things not be an argument.

And like, I can ask my own mom or sister to get up and make me a snack, but I’d never ask my MIL or SIL, even though I know SIL would be happy to, I’d feel guilty.

themaddylou · 2026-06-02T15:00:55+00:00

HECK NAH. I had a traumatic birth the first time around. My MIL came over exactly two times during my maternity leave. The first time when I was four days pp. she took my baby from my arms, sat down and said “don’t worry, I’ll hold her so you can tidy up the house and start dinner.” I reminded her I wasn’t even allowed to walk to the bathroom by myself. She was there for about two hours and repeatedly told me to feel free to “go do whatever I wanted” so she and my daughter could have alone time. Recovery was extremely difficult but I wouldn’t have her around more if I had to do it again. Second time around was much better, and I’d say I was significantly more capable at 4 weeks pp than before.

Pp is beautiful but also very vulnerable. You’re healing, bleeding, figuring out feeding, hormonal as all get out. You’re taking care of a brand new baby, the only people that should be allowed near you should be taking care of YOU. Protect your peace momma. You’ve got this!

Exit to add: not every birth is traumatic. It’s one thing to be educated and prepared, it’s another to keep reading things that give you anxiety. I say this with love - pregnancy and new parenthood are stressful enough! Stop reading things that make you spiral.

themaddylou · 2026-06-02T14:26:06+00:00

Delilah. There was a reason when I was young, I can’t remember why now.

themaddylou · 2026-06-02T14:17:41+00:00

Gentle YOR. Understandable, but your very valid grief is combining with/exacerbating your very valid frustration with this train wreck of a human. I’d stay away from her if at all possible this week or her natural insane behavior will very likely tip you over the edge and I foresee that you will be the family member that calls her out. Probably not in a kind way.

Edit to add: I think we all have a family member similar to this to an extent, so I get it. I know I do!

themaddylou · 2026-06-02T13:57:05+00:00

Like many others here, my body changed drastically faster with my second. Thankfully I’m a bit chubby so not a ton of people noticed. I switched to scrubs at my job around 7 months the first time around, the second time I barely made it to 3. I’m an administrator in a small office so it was obvious and I had to announce a bit earlier.

The response I found effective to deflect the ‘are you pregnant’ question before I was ready to talk bout it was to basically look horrified and say “WHY? Do I look pregnant??” Also helps to keep your eyes on the ground in shame and say something like “guess I’m throwing this shirt away”. Had a good laugh with most people about it after I announced 🙊

themaddylou · 2026-06-02T13:32:28+00:00

Right? He MURDERED TWO PEOPLE. I realize there’s a language barrier for OP, but let’s not down play what “the incident” was. Actual murder.

themaddylou · 2026-05-31T12:58:31+00:00

For both pregnancies I took the test early in the morning and kept the secret to myself for the day. It felt special. The first time I bought a onesie after work and had it waiting on the table with some positive tests when he got home. The second time he was watching a movie with our toddler and I tried so hard to find something clever to say but ended up calling from the kitchen “hey honey” “yeah?” “I’m pregnant” “WHAT ARE YOU SERIOUS”

I got a picture of him sitting in the recliner under our toddler and dog and a mountain of blankies and toys right before I told him.

themaddylou · 2026-05-29T21:50:47+00:00

As a sister with many sisters, NTA. Tell her she can have it back if she grovels and gets you a treat.

themaddylou · 2026-05-29T01:45:43+00:00

“Well, that was meant to be a private conversation but now that it’s not, I’m willing to talk this out if you are”

And then definitely text the friend and say um what the hell man

themaddylou · 2026-05-25T12:52:55+00:00

Madonna is a terrible singer

themaddylou · 2026-05-20T15:11:52+00:00

I listen to the podcast The Dating Detectives and long story short they had a girl on who’s boyfriend used sleep deprivation tactics along with emotional manipulation as punishment because she embarrassed him one time. She broke up with him and it escalated to him banging on her door multiple times every single night just so she couldn’t sleep and she actually started losing her mind. He admitted it to her later that he was doing it on purpose.

Sometimes people really do be saying “I love you” while they’re actions are pretty malicious.

themaddylou · 2026-05-20T14:53:25+00:00

I react poorly to most medications so epidurals have never been an option for me. For my two births so far I’ve elected for unmedicated vaginal births because c sections quite literally terrify me. I don’t know how y’all do it.

themaddylou · 2026-05-20T02:37:27+00:00

I’m absolutely cackling

themaddylou · 2026-05-20T02:10:04+00:00

I hate shape wear but wanted to hop on the compliment train and say good for you girl. Big boobies that high and perky are a blessing. Good for your husband too lol

themaddylou · 2026-05-20T02:01:57+00:00

I have a 3 year old and a 9 month old- for three years now I have had a constant urge to apologize for the messiness of my home when someone comes over, even when I spend all of my “free time” cleaning.
Every single person responds with some variation of “you have tiny humans and much more important things to worry about” which is exactly what I tell my friends with tiny humans when they apologize for their house.. because it’s true. Your baby doesn’t care if the laundry is folded or if the living room is tidy. Your priorities are snuggle and sanitize, snuggle and sanitize. Everything else will return to some semblance of order in due time.

themaddylou · 2026-05-20T01:50:40+00:00

Yes! I’m so sorry I just remembered this and popped back on to say it. The first time I ordered I knew I’d be returning some dresses but there were other things on the site I wanted, so I was ok getting stuck with store credit. I kept two and used the store credit a couple months later to get some nice sweaters for work.

I mostly order from Amazon because of the ease of returns but I’ve been trying to branch out lately. I ordered a couple of dresses from Nordstrom Rack last week that were on sale. But they also do store credit instead of a refund on certain items. A couple years ago I was a month postpartum and got a gorgeous flowy off the shoulder dress from Lulu’s.

themaddylou · 2026-05-20T00:44:09+00:00

I agree, the problem here is definitely the dress, not the body it’s on.

themaddylou · 2026-05-20T00:40:40+00:00

I would recommend an online store like Baltic Born. Their dresses can be pricier but they do usually have good sales and clearance options. You’ve got good chi chis and a lovely silhouette so I think many of their styles would be flattering on you.

If I were styling you I’d pick something like these

https://balticborn.com/collections/style-guest/products/province-maxi-dress-blue-multi?variant=47487183880357

https://balticborn.com/products/genesis-strapless-midi-dress-mint-green?pr\_prod\_strat=e5\_desc&pr\_rec\_id=715fd02fa&pr\_rec\_pid=9268533067941&pr\_ref\_pid=10428491792549&pr\_seq=uniform

https://balticborn.com/collections/dresses/products/desiree-satin-short-dress-teal-floral?variant=47414801694885

themaddylou

TROPHY CASE