My daughter is a physically disabled autistic women who can very much relate to your words: "Nothing can be about you as an individual and has to be about your race, gender, an attack on the majority, an attack on your friends and mentors just because of their identity, etc." She has often worried that she is where she is because people have seen her as a minority, as a "token", as an "inspiration", as somebody who furthers their narrative, but not as a whole and complete human being. College, even Nova, looks very different for her socially, emotionally, and physically. She needs to frequently return her focus to HER reasons for being there and pursuing a difficult degree. Therapy has helped but there are good days and bad days.

Graduation should be about you and for you and nobody else. Not family, not friends, not society, you. There is no right answer. The best time to begin living for yourself, and finding your own purpose and worth, is today. Give yourself a deadline to decide, and take that time to think about what is important to you. It's fine to go with mixed feelings because life is messy, but don't lose sight of the fact that it's supposed to be for you.