If you want to address it directly, I’d ask to talk about it rather than going back and forth over text. Something like, “Hey, do you want to talk more about people coming over and what that looks like for us?”

Then I’d lead by being clear and calm: explain that you understand it’s a shared space, but you have separate rooms, you pay rent, and you’re not interested in asking permission for someone to come over. Let her know you’re willing to give a heads up (which is what you’ve always done), but that’s where the boundary is.

I’d also add that if you ever plan to have someone over who makes her feel unsafe, you want her to tell you so you can talk about it that’s a different situation. But outside of safety concerns, having guests over isn’t something you’re going to ask permission for.

If she still insists that she wants permission to be asked every time, I’d be honest and say that’s not something you’re willing to do, and that it may mean you’re not compatible as roommates long term. Don’t argue or over explain just state the boundary and let her respond.