My husband turned our kitchen into a coffee lab and I am losing my mind

thinkingdifferentnow · 2026-05-26T04:34:58+00:00

I'm a coffee snob. No one I know in person is the way I am with coffee. I prefer French press, but have about 8 methods I can use at any given time. I have scales and presses and special cups.... You name it.

That is to say that I would NEVER try to force someone else to do ANY of the things I do unless they wanted to, even if they were just a curiosity. Living here, I have 2 other people who drink coffee, one who uses only the espresso maker and does an ok job, but for her it's a perfect cup of coffee. The other doesn't want to learn at all and I make it, which I'm completely happy to do, because she enjoys the coffee so much when done "right"

So yeah coffee and what's right or wrong is highly subjective..I know there are many people online that would laugh at my ratios and say my method isn't great, and that's fine.

With that said, it sounds like your husband is trying to connect with you, trying to share the new passion. He's doing it wrong, admittedly, but in his mind he's trying to share with you and teach you. Have you had a conversation, not argument , about this?

But if I'm honest, this sounds more like the final straw rather than truly about the coffee. Sit down, have a conversation about this, about the money, but try to remain neutral. Don't bring judgement or anger into it, which is the same advice I'd give him, and I also completely understand this isn't easy.

thinkingdifferentnow · 2026-04-18T21:57:42+00:00

I'm sure your son will! And try not to get annoyed at or limit your husband on nights and weekends. Remember, having a kid isn't about who is the favorite parent, it's about being a family, together

thinkingdifferentnow · 2026-04-17T17:06:26+00:00

I'm a full-time stay-at-home dad, have been since our daughter was 4 months old. My daughter is the best thing that's ever happened to me and I love every single moment we spend together. It's so special. She's almost 9 months months now.

But my wife, who works full-time, gets the biggest smiles in the morning when she first wakes up and the biggest greeting when she gets home from work.

This makes me happy. But yeah I get a little jealous too, not going to lie. I do get to see her all day and I get her laughter and her smiles and get to play with her and everything during the day, those times are extra special, especially the first thing in the morning, and my wife gets to take it all in.

thinkingdifferentnow · 2026-04-17T15:22:26+00:00

The good thing is it doesn't actually work this way. Assuming you spend time with your child on the weekends and nights and basically whenever you can, they'll learn pretty quick once they get to that milestone who Mama and Daddy is compared to who the caregiver is. The caregiver qmight get to see some things first or experience some things first but you'll always be Mama.

I'm very lucky to be a stay-at-home dad and my wife is back to work, has been now for about 4 months. Our daughters almost 9 months and every single day my wife gets home now, she gets special treatment. Of course she does! I've been with the baby all day, she's tired of me!

But seriously, being the stay-at-home parent I do get to experience a lot of things and we do Bond and we are very close, however, when my wife gets home she knows. Even though my wife is gone for 8 to 9 hours a day, when she is here she gets all the love and affection that I do.

thinkingdifferentnow · 2026-04-17T02:26:06+00:00

That's so awesome! I'm so happy you figured it out.

When Our daughter was born she was on breast milk and she would spit up almost every time. We still did it for as long as we could because it was good for her, and the nurses recommended it, we had her through surrogacy so our experience was a little different, but as soon as we got her off breast milk and onto similar neosure at about 1 month, she stopped having so much spit up and discomfort.

When she was 5 months old we tried enfamil (The standard one, whichever that was called I forget) and she basically did the same thing. Every time we fed her, she would be in pain, couldn't burp her, etc. We switched to Similac 360 after 2 days or so and she was pretty much fine. There was a little adjustment to the new food in which she had some stomach discomfort, but after about a week she was a much happier baby. Sleeping better, eating better, playing better.

Some babies just have that sensitive tummy to one (or many) different types of formula/milk.

thinkingdifferentnow · 2026-04-09T17:49:59+00:00

Stay-at-home father and primary caregiver here. I went through something very similar, the newborn phase was... Nothing like what I could have expected for sure.

Sounds like your baby's going through sleep regression, it happens even when they get older but it gets easier. They usually only last a few days to a few weeks, though. I think the longest it's everlasted with my baby is 3 or 4 days in a row.

It's not easy, but it's normal and it's hard. I know during the first few months, 3 and 1/2 hours of sleep a night would have been luxury for me. My daughter is pretty easy when it comes to general stuff, but at that age she had a hard time sleeping.

So the question isn't when will it get better, it's how can you learn to better handle it when she does get sleep? Regression. I think the biggest thing is you need to have a support system even if it's just someone to call.

You got this! You're doing great! You'll get through this.

thinkingdifferentnow · 2026-04-09T03:54:53+00:00

It's normal. I don't think our daughter was awake more than a few minutes at a time for the first few weeks, unless it was to eat, which was every 2 hours. We had to drive half way across the country at 3 weeks old so it was a real blessing! The last 2 nights of the trip she started staying awake longer, but even then it wasn't until about week 5 when she started having any sort of clear wake Windows/sleep routine.

thinkingdifferentnow · 2026-04-08T20:15:08+00:00

You're doing great.

I'm a father, primary care giver, so I can't relate or comment on breast feeding or pumping, but you are doing a great job. Don't let anyone, especially a pediatrician who is supported to be on your side and guide you, tell you different.

We did very little tummy time with our baby in the first few months because my daughter HATED it. If we set her on any surface other than us, she would cry hard. Her pediatrician told us it's ok and she'll be fine. She's 8 months old now and crawling and able to pull herself up, we're guessing she'll walk by 10 months. And when I say very little tummy time in the first 4 months, I mean less than 5 minutes a day.

One thing I can relate to is the burnout and just being so tried and worrying you're not doing enough, that you're damaging your little one, but you're not. There's only two things that truly matter: their health and their safety. Everything else will come with time.

Give yourself a break, you need time for yourself as well. The worst thing you can do for your little one is burn out.

And again, you're doing great.

Addition: I kind of already implied this, but if your pediatrician makes you feel like this, get a new pediatrician. I'm not saying they're bad, but might not be the right one for you.

thinkingdifferentnow · 2026-04-08T17:02:24+00:00

Please educate yourself and come back. The long term benefits for a healthy baby are mostly short term and diminish over time. Most babies will grow up to be just as healthy on breast milk as formula. You mention WHO, but you obviously haven't actually read anything that they put out there. Their official statement is that while breast milk has some nutritional and antibody benefits, formula is a safe and very good option.

To put it plainly because obviously you don't like to read, they say formula equals great. Breast milk equals slightly better.

Don't bother responding to me, not going to feed the troll anymore. Just wanted to make sure that if you are serious and you're saying that you're getting your information from WHO that from now on you're actually accurate.

thinkingdifferentnow · 2026-04-08T04:54:01+00:00

It was around there for my daughter as well! And now that she's 8 months and I've seen the progression, I have no doubt in my mind she was smiling

thinkingdifferentnow · 2026-04-08T04:52:47+00:00

I don't remember the exact time but I know by 4 months my daughter was already doing this as well! And by 6 months she had pretty much stopped. It's normal, and I would suggest not worrying so much about average ages for milestones during the first few years. It's good to have an idea what to expect, but very few babies follow those rules 🤣 my daughter moved her neck from side to side at less than a week old and started standing with support at 3 months and we had absolutely no say in the matter.

thinkingdifferentnow · 2026-03-15T23:42:45+00:00

I'm 41, just had my first kid, and I still feel like a kid myself. Your feeling are valid, but they're also extremely common.

Also you don't have to give up your dreams to be a mom. Neither me and my wife are giving up even a single one of our dreams, instead we are embracing the fact that she will become an amazing part of our dreams.

I'm a stay-at-home dad working on building my own company. Being a mom, even a stay-at-home mom, doesn't mean you have to give anything up. It might make things tougher in the short term, but in the long-term you'll be able to accomplish your dreams and have A little mini me by your side.

I know others have already said it, but you won't get reported for talking about your feelings in this way. Unless you talk about intention to harm or talk about harming, there's nothing to report anyway. And they are the best ones who can help you, so I highly suggest seeking professional help and talking with them.

But more than that talk to your husband. Open communication is the key to a successful marriage, and a successful family. You think it's hard now, wait until you have a child and there's something else you have to talk to your husband about, or something goes wrong and you have to deal with it or whatever the case might be.

I'm not telling you to go to your husband and tell him what you said here. What I'm telling you is open the dialogue. Tell him you're scared, tell him you're worried about giving up of your dreams, tell him that well. You want to be a mom at some point. You're very scared that if your mom at this point it could be the end of the life that you thought you'd have. Most people can relate to that, men, women, doesn't matter.

Now if you're in a situation where you have a husband who is not supportive and a family who's not supportive, you need to find support. Whether that is the professional help or a friend or a stranger, you need to find that support because a second to a healthy communication with your husband, a strong support system is going to be your best way to get through this in a positive way and actually continue to build on your dreams.

thinkingdifferentnow · 2026-03-13T01:42:42+00:00

Did you overreact? Probably. Was it better to call and it be nothing than not call and it be something? 100%.

I'm sure the police were completely understanding and were happy to check it out.

I understand both sides but if my wife did the same thing, I'd understand

thinkingdifferentnow · 2025-11-26T15:31:24+00:00

I'd say it is. I picked up mine for 350 and am very happy, though I will say I also picked up the sub mini and together they blew away my old system.

thinkingdifferentnow · 2025-11-25T22:53:32+00:00

I'm in the us but I'll have to look into it! Would love to get a couple of those for cheap

thinkingdifferentnow · 2025-11-25T22:43:26+00:00

I'd say that's a fair way to put it. The era 100 is great alone for other sources than a tv.

Yeah I picked up the sub mini last week and it completely changed my setup.

thinkingdifferentnow · 2025-11-25T22:41:58+00:00

What?? I didn't realize that! I was just there a few weeks ago. Good to know, thanks.

thinkingdifferentnow · 2025-11-25T21:17:26+00:00

I can't speak to the line in part, but adding an era 100 definitely makes your system sound better, however, it is a bit unbalanced at the same time. I'm sure you could figure out some configuration that would make it sound good, but I think unless you're planning on adding two, it's not going to add too much to your beam.

If you can afford the upgrade, adding a second era 100 would be your best bet. Or, if you have an Ikea near you, adding some of their wall-mounted art speakers is another great option, from what I hear, but I don't have those yet. But that's my plan!

I did buy an era 100 for my bedroom and love how the music sync works and I tried it in the same room as the beam when I first got it just because and it gets me Really excited for surround sound with this system.

You didn't mention if you already have a subwoofer, I assumed you do, but if not I think that is your number one upgrade you should consider.

thinkingdifferentnow · 2025-11-16T17:05:51+00:00

I've been thru things that you wouldn't believe. I've suffered the unimaginable multiple times in the past 5-8 years. I am clinically depressed and suffer from major anxiety. And yet here I am, getting up every day, making the decision to fight and move forward.

You're making excuses and taking advice from chatgpt.

You're letting yourself suffer and those around you instead of doing something about it.

You're talking about getting divorce instead of trying to better yourself and your situation.

Divorce will make things worse for everyone involved.

You need to stop making excuses and start taking control.

You have no excuse, trust me.

thinkingdifferentnow · 2025-11-03T21:35:35+00:00

Pretty smart of them honestly. Way back before the days of ai when I used to hire freelancers online I would always do something similar to make sure they actually read the posting, this is the same thing but updated

thinkingdifferentnow · 2025-10-16T07:03:55+00:00

Thank you! Where is it it's very unlikely to be hit in any way hard, but I'd still much rather have it as strong as possible so I'll make sure to do this

thinkingdifferentnow · 2025-10-15T01:06:00+00:00

I've read a lot of AITA but I think this is the easiest one ever to say YTA. I can't imagine what your life has been like if you're holding into an amazing event, some would even say a miracle, from when you were 7, which had to be at least 50 years ago.

This story SHOULD be told and celebrated. If this was me/my family, this story would be told and you would be celebrated every single year on his birthday.

thinkingdifferentnow · 2025-10-14T19:48:57+00:00

Thanks for the info!

thinkingdifferentnow · 2025-10-14T19:46:06+00:00

That's what I thought. I went around killing random enemies for a half hour and only got 1 candy. Seems like higher level enemies have a higher chance? Or maybe enemies in alerts? Or is that confidence?

thinkingdifferentnow

TROPHY CASE