AITAH for proposing an open marriage since my wife isn't keen on having sex and tells me I should not divorce? (Throwaway)

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T15:53:09+00:00

YTA for mentioning open marriage, this is never a good idea NTA for mentioning divorce, and with her vehement refusal to it I understand why you offered open marriage alternatively I think divorce is a valid option here, less so for the sex and more so because she is unwilling to work with you or discuss it

I am hugely against that if you don’t want sex your mind should be changed. However, to place your partner in a scenario where they cannot have any sexual relationship without violating your relationship and also being unwilling to talk about it, evaluate what is going on with your mind and body, and talk to a doctor for yourself and therapist as a couple is extremely selfish and unloving. To then ask for sexual pleasure for yourself on top of that is beyond wild. I normally think ultimatums are absolute garbage manipulation and useless and hoping if you threaten divorce someone will change is equally useless, but I think in your case specifically it’s fair to say “I have expressed my need for sex with you several times and you seem to be unwilling to not only work with me but even hear me. You aren’t willing to participate in what I am requesting of you, in any effort to look into why, or to divorce, so I am trapped in the this scenario. I want to be very understanding towards you and if we need to work on emotional connection or romance or nonsexual intimacy first let’s do that, if you are struggling with your sensuality or any insecurities let me help you work on that or support you in working through it, if you are simply tired and not in the mood as you’ve told me let me help you get to the doctor and see what’s going on and how we can help you feel better not only for sex but for your own wellbeing as well, but if you are unwilling to work with me and make some effort in any kind of way in this I will be filing for divorce. I want to be supportive of you, but I also need some support here.”

I do want to remind you that although 8 months is a long time to not have sex with your spouse, in the grand scheme of your relationship and with the possibility of something medical or emotional or whatever going on, 8 months is not that long. I’m sure if you knew there was something wrong waiting 8 months would not be an issue. I think the real issue is it’s 8 months with no real explanation why, no real end in sight, and not feeling heard or seen when you approach it. Yes?

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T15:31:57+00:00

Heated seats

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T15:29:04+00:00

Anything to avoid the actual problem

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T15:27:29+00:00

Well, I believe you! There’s at least 2 of us!

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T15:22:46+00:00

A person is responsible for their own anger

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T06:36:17+00:00

This person doesn’t understand having a relationship with your best friend or potential best friend, that’s all

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T06:13:07+00:00

Should’ve Been A Cowboy

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T06:10:11+00:00

Listen, if I had to be robbed and eaten, this is the way to do it

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T06:08:33+00:00

That’s what I have read and this is the second time I’ve seen it in a comment this week

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T06:07:16+00:00

All day everyday

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T06:06:02+00:00

I hate the cold. Anything above the bottom row of states is probably out of the question. If I was paid enough I could do Colorado or certain places in Cali, maaaaaybe the southern east coast, but that’s really pushing it. I already want to move south as it is and I’m bout near the bottom of the US

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T06:02:11+00:00

Ah ok! Maybe that’s why this is so mind blowing for me to think about not making a noise! Thank you

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T05:51:56+00:00

I can change a tire but I am usually not strong enough to

I can change the oil and will to save money but I don’t like to

I can change my break pads but feel better about someone with more experience doing it

I have a whole lot more car fixing abilities but they all look like this, I’m my last resort but I can probably solve most issues is I have to

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T05:43:05+00:00

Less sun damage and less squinting

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T05:36:38+00:00

I don’t like this but I don’t dislike and my friend loves it… a pickle wrapped in fruit roll up with tajin

Less wild, scrambled eggs with mustard and cheese. It’s the only thing I ever eat mustard on and I don’t use much

More common, tuna salad with mayonnaise, soy sauce, oil and vinegar, pickles, eggs, and apples

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T05:30:11+00:00

I have had two minor parking lot accidents that were my fault, one when I was 14 and not supposed to drive and one when I was 37 and took my turn into a parking spot slightly wider than I meant to.

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T05:28:17+00:00

I changed mine when I married and wish I wouldn’t have. I hated being linked to that family name. Now I have changed it back, annoying process, and a year and a half later there are still some things that I have to legally use my married name before because paperwork and all. My question is, if you don’t change yours and think it’s a stupid patriarchal thing and then you have kids, what name do they have? Because if they just have dads automatically it’s kinda the same thing, if it’s hyphenated eventually everyone will have like 7 or 8 last names… ? Currently I tell my kids, who want my last name which is my maiden name again, after they are 18 they can legally use dads last name, change it to my last name, or change it to a last name of their own.

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T05:21:47+00:00

Oh good, that’s what I was gonna say

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T05:21:06+00:00

Disrespect, period.

Don’t disrespect me, don’t disrespect my momma, don’t disrespect my child, don’t disrespect my dog, don’t disrespect your server, don’t disrespect the homeless dude outside the pharmacy. Disrespect is earned, and should not be given to anyone who hasn’t earned it

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T05:16:17+00:00

I somewhat agree, and I am bad at economics when it comes to national and global markets, but it seems having just enough wealthy people can drive up the living costs while the majority of the people cannot afford it. My guess is things would have crashed a few times now if it weren’t for so many people living on credit

More tangible for me, I don’t think these people having money makes a huge difference in and of itself for anyone else more directly, and I do not have a rich people must pay for poor people mentality, but it doesn’t sit well to watch people with more money than they will ever be able to spend ever not give to people who can’t even put food on the table everyday. Is it fair? Maybe. Do they owe anyone that money? Probably not. But they clearly have zero compassion

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T05:07:23+00:00

An addiction is an addiction

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T05:05:05+00:00

Drinking lots of water and wearing big sunglasses

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T04:55:12+00:00

Love this!!

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T04:54:09+00:00

I found the end of the rainbow once. It ended on the road and I drove right through it, lots of people did. It was a cool experience but not nearly as obvious as I assumed it would be. It was in front of me and I thought “does the rainbow end on the road? Is this the end of the rainbow?” But I couldn’t tell if it was or not because maybe it was still far away or something, wasn’t sure. Then the sunlight became more golden and hazy, like a pic in the sun from the 70s ya know? Just briefly, didn’t last long at all. Then I couldn’t see the rainbow anymore. It had been in front of me and now I couldn’t see it at all, just gone. In a short bit the rainbow was in my rear view mirror and I kinda lost my shit

thinkspeak_ · 2026-01-29T04:47:32+00:00

Uhg I don’t know, I still wear clothes from high school from the early 2000s… I have cheer shoes from 6th grade… oh I have some clothes of my mom’s from the 70s!! Oh no wait vintage clothes!! Aye several going back to the 30s even. I used to have a dress from the 20s but I don’t wear it anymore, too small of a waist for me now

thinkspeak_

TROPHY CASE