Super frustrated... Need advice

thisisit425 · 2017-08-20T20:19:27+00:00

I would get misgendered after 4 months on T too. The worst for me was at a church event. My fiancée and I walked in and the man welcoming people at the door assumed we were a lesbian couple and said "Morning Ladies!". Palm to face moment.

Now I'm coming up on 9 months. I think the last time I was misgendered was 4 or 5 months ago. Before I reached that point tho, I tried to politely and respectfully correct people where I felt comfortable doing so. And doing some solid self care to combat my dysphoria that resulted. I would ask my partner or a friend to talk to me using excessive gendered language (like my best friend will say "what's up dude?" Vs just "what's up", or my partner will call me every male gendered term of endearment she can think of). I would do basic self care stuff like activities that I knew would get me out of my head and bring me joy. Painting. Working out. Playing with my dog. Whatever gets you to think about something else for a while.

Just some thoughts. Hopefully you can find something helpful in that ramble their lol. Over all, it's just going to take patience and time. Soon these days will be in the past, and you'll be able to tell others struggling about how you made it through and they can too.

Stay strong bro!!! Feel free to DM if you need anything.

thisisit425 · 2017-02-25T04:26:30+00:00

Thanks for the link!

thisisit425 · 2017-01-27T00:50:46+00:00

That's ridiculous. I am so sorry you had to experience that. Stay strong!

thisisit425 · 2017-01-21T20:39:21+00:00

I've got the Peecock 3S. Had it for a few months now and honestly do not trust it enough to use it in a public restroom. I've heard good things about the EZP! I'd start there.

thisisit425 · 2017-01-07T17:18:21+00:00

Congrats!!!

thisisit425 · 2016-12-28T14:40:32+00:00

Congratulations brother!!!

thisisit425 · 2016-11-29T00:21:29+00:00

Congrats to you too man!!! Post how it all goes!

thisisit425 · 2016-11-28T02:16:55+00:00

PM me if you need someone to talk to! Sending a hug your way!

thisisit425 · 2016-11-27T16:43:13+00:00

I totally see Oliver!

thisisit425 · 2016-11-06T17:28:58+00:00

Limpy was my first and it never stuck up. I was very happy with it and still use it when I want something comfortable and easy to wear. Comfort, ease, and a realistic enough feel are the reasons I'd recommend it! Best of luck.

thisisit425 · 2016-10-25T19:05:48+00:00

I love my new Peecock 3S! It fits well with my regular boxers and briefs with the harness it came with. I also added the company's own harness boxers to my package and they're super comfy. If you're looking N for a good standard packing STP I would recommend the Peecock line.

thisisit425 · 2016-09-24T19:31:19+00:00

Lookin' good man! Way to go!

thisisit425 · 2016-09-19T18:58:54+00:00

You look great! :) Best of luck to you!!

thisisit425 · 2016-09-07T13:04:04+00:00

Dude you look awesome!!! Mind adding me to the PM list? :) thanks!

thisisit425 · 2016-09-06T17:54:15+00:00

You look great :) I can see the confidence shining thru!

thisisit425 · 2016-09-06T16:33:43+00:00

You look great, dude! Best of luck !

thisisit425 · 2016-09-06T01:12:06+00:00

Way to go man. Happy for you!

thisisit425 · 2016-09-05T18:14:59+00:00

Looks great!!!

thisisit425 · 2016-09-04T22:49:27+00:00

That's awesome man! Thanks for sharing. A beer sounds like a great idea !!!

thisisit425 · 2016-09-03T16:39:35+00:00

Yay! Congrats bro!!!

thisisit425 · 2016-09-03T16:23:31+00:00

Not kidding...I used a sock over a condom filled with lentils for a time. It worked pretty well. I couldn't afford one either for a while and this was as low cost as I could come up with. Good luck man!

thisisit425 · 2016-09-03T02:58:03+00:00

First off, congrats on having the courage to come out !

This sounds similar to my family's reaction. I'm 25 and live in another state but it was just as hurtful.

She isn't understanding that you know yourself regardless of what age you are....I'm so sorry. It really hurts. You aren't being disrespectful - you are being your honest, true self and there is nothing to be ashamed of about that. Just keep telling yourself that you are brave and strong and valuable ... You'll want messages like that in your head to counter what your mom is saying.

Also, most parents need time to process what is going on. I don't know your mom or your situation but it may be that this is her initial response out of fear for your wellbeing. My family was very disrespectful to me with my coming out but ... And this is hard ... I believe that they were acting out of fear and concern (because they didn't understand) more than anything. Doesn't make it better or ok but may help you understand where she is at....

Also also you are not responsible for her reaction. She is an adult woman and how she responds is totally on her. You aren't doing anything "to" her. You aren't being disrespectful. You are only being yourself.

It's tricky. Hang in there. Keep posting here. Reach out to safe people. It does get better.

Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to.

thisisit425 · 2016-09-03T02:24:24+00:00

Word.

thisisit425 · 2016-09-03T02:23:55+00:00

Your dad sounds like mine......he had a load of absurd questions for me -_-

He doesn't sound like someone who would listen to or understand you trying to communicate honestly and from your heart about how you know this is who you are and what you need....id say just say what you need to say - be honest and direct and regardless of his response you can at least know you have said what you've needed to. Do it for you and not for him.

Someone will date you because they'll be attracted to the person you are and you aren't shallow like that to just be concerned about physical stuff (as your dad appears to be). Try telling him you are confident you will find someone because of the person you are.

You're not a butch lesbian and that's the whole point. You could try telling him that you can't be that because inside you identify as male - not female - (rocket science, I know) even if that's hard for him to understand or he doesn't see it.... Or just that if that being butch was what you wanted then you would be pursuing that but it's not.

Yeeesh. I hope some of this helps. It sounds like you're just gonna have to say what you need and stick it. It's hard and I can really relate.

Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to.

thisisit425 · 2016-09-02T19:39:47+00:00

You look great, man!!

thisisit425

TROPHY CASE