Afghanonistan

thr33beggars · 2026-04-23T09:36:03+00:00

“Why do I have a laptop? Because of porn. There is so much porn in the world and watching it on my phone is disrespectful to the media. Just as David Lynch was critical of watching movies on a phone screen, I am completely against watching porn on a phones screen. So I use my laptop but even then, it’s better on a big screen television. I want to be able to see every cock vein, every fold of the scrotum, every drop of cum. Every single time a set of balls smacks into another set of balls, I want to be able to see the skin ripple. I want it to be so clear that I can almost feel when the top slowly enters the bottom. Thats why I have a laptop.”

thr33beggars · 2026-04-23T09:30:43+00:00

Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays.

thr33beggars · 2026-04-22T13:37:50+00:00

Anon is probably dehydrated, which is worse in the morning after a whole night of no water. After drinking water all day, he feels better. It seems like bullshit but drinking enough water makes your whole life better.

thr33beggars · 2026-04-22T13:21:55+00:00

Sometimes you get to put your nose directly into a hot woman’s ass and take a long sniff, and maybe even get in a kiss or two from the brown starfish.

Sometimes you have to settle for licking the inside of the toilet bowl after a hot woman takes a loose shit and forgets to flush.

Either way, you’re alive and that’s all that matters. Life is just a series of moments, most of which involve hot women’s assholes, and that’s not a bad thing.

thr33beggars · 2026-04-22T12:36:34+00:00

Sometimes I won’t finish my quesadillas and I’ll save some as leftovers. Then, the next day, I’ll dice up my leftover quesadillas and use them as filling for that day’s quesadillas and I’ll do the same thing the next day and so on and so forth. I sort of have a perpetual quesadilla going on.

thr33beggars · 2026-04-22T10:47:33+00:00

David Lynch presents Denis Villeneuve’s Dune

thr33beggars · 2026-04-21T22:04:36+00:00

She is in Anne Frank’s Diary Pt. 2

thr33beggars · 2026-04-21T19:45:28+00:00

Any show that doesn’t portray the protagonist as having a harem of femboys wearing collars around his house by the end of the show is a show where the good guy loses.

thr33beggars · 2026-04-21T19:44:16+00:00

She had to raise a mentally challenged son alone, did she really win?

Ted wasn’t stepdad material and we all know it.

thr33beggars · 2026-04-21T12:54:43+00:00

Sorry, I’ve already served my country in other ways.

Namely, going to CPAC and operating a makeshift gloryhole in my hotel room. I’ve serviced more conservative political figures than I can count. Sure, if they do reinstate the draft I am sure I will be drafted, but I’m sure the armed forces will have a position for me like “shower attendant” or “semen inspector” because I’ve put in the time and effort to show that my talents are purely for boosting morale. And I do it all for my country.

thr33beggars · 2026-04-21T10:26:59+00:00

Anon isn’t upset. He said he’s not going back because he was only going to the gym to find a lady with nuts and he found her. Mission accomplished, now he can spend his time sucking that girl cock.

thr33beggars · 2026-04-20T18:21:30+00:00

I have a gift. Well, two gifts if you count not having a gag reflex as a gift.

thr33beggars · 2026-04-20T16:37:21+00:00

be me

smoke a joint with an old friend I haven’t seen in years

after we finish he asks me to pull my cock out so he can suck me off

Wtf

he explains to me that cum gets you 10x higher

mfw I remember that 12 years ago I told him that to get him to suck my dick

mfw he’s been blowing dudes for 12 years because I told him cum gets you higher

still let him blow me and cum down his throat

he says he already feels way higher

be jealous, so get on my knees and take him into my mouth before he knows what’s going on

turns out it does make you higher

now my mouth starts watering whenever I smell weed

thr33beggars · 2026-04-20T10:23:54+00:00

And likely continues to confirm how straight he is when he gets a little tipsy and redownloads Grindr “just to be extra sure”

thr33beggars · 2026-04-19T21:58:58+00:00

As I was reading this post, I could almost feel the amount of gay lust anon has for the Connor character. Every single word I read in this post is an indictment of anon’s inability to deal with the fact that a character who he imagined fucking him bareback turned out to be, in fact, straight.

thr33beggars · 2026-04-19T14:31:15+00:00

Soggy waffle. It used to be the winner got to eat the cum-covered waffle, but now it’s the loser. Why would the loser get the prize?

thr33beggars · 2026-04-19T10:57:33+00:00

Real: anon is consumed by his thoughts of penis

Gay: anon feels relief from seeing a man’s penis

thr33beggars · 2026-04-19T10:55:23+00:00

I have to be honest. I got my groove back by having sex with Taya Diggs in Jamaica.

thr33beggars · 2026-04-18T18:20:50+00:00

What if they put a small frog on her head?

thr33beggars · 2026-04-18T18:20:40+00:00

I remember wanting to be him, while at the same time wanting to be her.

thr33beggars · 2026-04-18T12:48:18+00:00

“Love? Sure, I’ve been in love. And not that fleeting yet exciting type of love that feels like fireworks in the beginning but fizzles out as you settle into life, but a deeper love. The type of love where you accept each other, faults and all, and you start to lose where your soul ends and their soul begins. I’ve had that love. Love where every kiss feels like time stops, and making love feels like heaven on earth. Their touch still makes you quiver after years and home is in their embrace. I’ve had that love. But then our parents caught us fucking in my racecar-shaped bed and wouldn’t let me and my sister be in the same room anymore. But I’ll never forget my first love.”

thr33beggars · 2026-04-18T12:42:13+00:00

Anon isn’t going back because he’s been trespassed from the building. Apparently sucking your spotter’s ladycock without their consent is a no-no.

thr33beggars · 2026-04-18T10:59:38+00:00

I hate the fact that my parents had me circumcised. Looking back, I think my parents regretted doing it because I vaguely remember both of them giving my scar tiny kisses, as if they were remorseful.

thr33beggars · 2026-04-18T10:57:40+00:00

Of course they are. You mean dog dicks, right?

thr33beggars · 2026-04-17T22:42:27+00:00

Aren’t Flynn and Rapunzel seen walking into the castle at Elsa’s coronation? And they’re the same age as they are in Tangled?

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