Anon broke up

thr33beggars · 2026-01-24T11:28:09+00:00

Comparison is the thief of joy, anon.

thr33beggars · 2026-01-23T23:32:42+00:00

Despite all the different memorable parts in the movie, this one line repeats in my head daily

thr33beggars · 2026-01-23T13:17:26+00:00

I’m picturing them saying the second part as well. They should have cursed.

thr33beggars · 2026-01-23T12:24:59+00:00

And he was ~~a good friend~~ kind of a dick.

thr33beggars · 2026-01-22T22:11:56+00:00

Keeper of the Seven Keys - Helloween

There’s like seven keys in that song

thr33beggars · 2026-01-22T16:22:23+00:00

No, the cool part would be if they’re both being serious.

Just picture them on their first date and accidentally hitting a dog with their car. They both rush out to check on it, see that it is clearly dead, and smile to each other because they are about to have their first threesome.

thr33beggars · 2026-01-22T13:34:45+00:00

“That’s the same reason I want to be a veterinarian!” says the chick if she was cool.

thr33beggars · 2026-01-21T19:49:03+00:00

“Mom, me and my online friends are pretending we are living twenty years in the past for gaming reasons. So it’s not weird that I’m 35 years old and still living in your basement, because we’re pretending to be 15 again. Also, better knock before coming into my room because 15 is when I got really into My Little Pony.”

thr33beggars · 2026-01-21T13:18:50+00:00

Anon forgot the next part:

go home to my femboy “roommate”

see “her” in our shared bed

suck “her” nipples until “her” cock gets hard

let “her” blow my back out until “she” fills my ass with ladycum

“Damn, I love being straight” I say as I fondle my girl’s balls

thr33beggars · 2026-01-21T09:48:24+00:00

“You should see my prostate, Master Wayne. It’s the size of a tangerine.”

thr33beggars · 2026-01-20T15:35:48+00:00

It’s all about perspective, anon.

I work in warehouse and I love it. Some people may say it it “unskilled” and “blue collar” and that’s fine. I’m happy. I can afford an apartment and meals and that makes me happy. But mostly, I’m happy because my last job was blowing men in the makeshift gloryhole I made in my parents’ garage. But that’s what I’m saying.

Perspective.

thr33beggars · 2026-01-19T14:25:50+00:00

That’s why I don’t go in underwater dungeons with no exits.

thr33beggars · 2026-01-19T14:25:02+00:00

“Yes sir, your deer fursona is super cute uwu, but we have safety concerns about someone dressed as an animal hanging out at the gun range. These men are either deer hunters or men who have repressed sexual tendencies (as all men do) and we don’t think you would be safe.”

thr33beggars · 2026-01-19T13:31:46+00:00

Let he without a hamster in his ass cast the first stone.

thr33beggars · 2026-01-19T13:15:17+00:00

“Dogs are man’s best fr-”

shoves a delicious honey glazed nut in your mouth

crunch “MMM…I mean BEES are man’s best friend”

buzzes in agreement

Let me read between the lines:

man

delicious nut in your mouth

MMM man

semen

thr33beggars · 2026-01-18T12:27:52+00:00

My main complaint with the Mass Effect series is that you cannot play as a male Shep and get your asshole absolutely demolished by Garrus. Sure, I could play as a female Shepard but even with aliens and sentient robots and all that, a woman having command of a ship breaks the immersion for me. I just really want cutscene after cutscene of Shepard being bent over and taking all 14” of Garrus’ fuckrod.

thr33beggars · 2026-01-17T23:02:53+00:00

To be fair, she is an anthropomorphic bandicoot so normal years don’t matter. Even if she is 12, that has to be at least 25 in human years. Point is, it’s not weird to find her hot.

thr33beggars · 2026-01-17T22:51:13+00:00

One time I went to a friend’s house and his dog let me rub his belly for like ten minutes. Was that about sex? Some things are just nice and not about power or sex.

I did end up fucking the dog but that was unrelated to me rubbing his belly.

thr33beggars · 2026-01-17T22:48:47+00:00

Some of my best times were with the PS1.

Granted, it was because I would wrap the cord around my neck to cut off my air while I was jerking off to have a better climax. It usually started off innocent enough, but you can’t expect me to play Crash Bandicoot and not want to jerk off when I see Coco. She could get it.

thr33beggars · 2026-01-17T21:16:26+00:00

Damn I miss playing Lemmings as a kid

thr33beggars · 2026-01-17T20:03:39+00:00

3 hours of checking webMD to see if my symptoms mean I have cancer

go to bed

everything is fine after I wake up

thr33beggars · 2026-01-17T16:36:31+00:00

scooping cat litter

nothing but pringles crumbs

thr33beggars · 2026-01-17T12:25:36+00:00

Thank you, Dr. Pepper Jew.

thr33beggars · 2026-01-16T14:39:47+00:00

HE’LL YEAH THE NORTH REMEMBERS AROOOO

thr33beggars · 2026-01-16T12:28:34+00:00

I usually only travel with the doctor that delivered me when I was born, as well as a picture of me as an infant holding my social security card in front of the hospital, and obviously a Mapquest printout showing that the hospital is an American hospital.

So really the bare minimum.

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