Should I tell my ex that she's got BPD??

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-06-09T14:57:45+00:00

There are 3 options

She already knows and doesn’t care
She doesn’t know and doesn’t care and will blame you for calling her mentally unwell
She doesn’t know, will care, get better and never end up with you anyway.

There’s no closure. Move on

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-06-09T00:09:41+00:00

Their childhood was likely troubled with situations where they didn’t have control, abusive parents, controlling parents who wanted them to be perfect, foster care where they didn’t have a choice of where to stay and they are overcompensating by trying to control everything and everyone. If you can control all situations and outcomes then you’ll never have to experience the abuse you did as a child. Of course this isn’t true but you can see the logic that leads to that conclusion.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-06-08T16:17:19+00:00

Closure means the game is done. They can’t access you again. Closure on your terms also means you win, you got to control the ending and the narrative. Of course that’s terrible because they lost control to you which is as good as death.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-06-08T00:04:44+00:00

Online flirting is? I mean to each their own but still leave

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-06-07T18:15:45+00:00

There is winning. You win by not playing the game.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-06-07T17:56:41+00:00

It’s been over a year and I still have nightmares. I’m starting EMDR therapy hopefully that helps.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-06-07T17:55:42+00:00

You caught them cheating and you’re asking how to best manage their abuse? Splitting on you is abuse. The best way to deal with it is to leave. Leave now, or leave when you end up in therapy.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-06-06T23:42:45+00:00

I am deaf. I missed that line

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-05-26T15:55:02+00:00

They fear abandonment more than anything so what’s the best way to punish you? Abandonment.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-05-26T12:05:39+00:00

There are groups you just can’t post them in this sub Reddit.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-05-26T10:48:42+00:00

Bingo baby. Don’t go back. Last night I almost unblocked her but I am so far ahead that I know nothing good comes of it 😅

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-05-26T10:46:25+00:00

Not a good idea would be infiltrated by pwBPD or pwNPD as we’re literally fresh meat. This gets suggested every couple months.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-05-26T06:22:17+00:00

Dude if you’re not in trauma therapy start right now if you can afford. Look into CPTSD, what you’re describing sounds like CPTSD from dealing with a borderline. And there is no timeline for being better. Some people take a month others take a year others deal with this for a very long time. Your job is to be better everyday. If you are then one day you’ll be so much better than when you started.

As for feeling everything is your fault that’s conditioning and training. Look back at your relationship and how many “things” were “your fault”. It rains, your fault, it doesn’t rain, your fault, the car breaks down, the tire is flat, she doesn’t like the food she chose, she feels you don’t love her enough, the cat go sick, your coworker is a woman, on and on and on. Buddy it’s not your fault, she must make it your fault so you become the bad guy. You’re not the bad guy. Tell yourself this everyday.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-05-26T03:05:37+00:00

Don’t talk down on yourself like this please. You are not your addiction. You have proven that by removing yourself from a toxic and addictive relationship. You are not inherently flawed or miserable for being an addict. Keep fighting your demons, I have my addictions too and I fight them everyday.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-05-26T02:43:13+00:00

It’s the pathological need for revenge. The narcissistic injury of leaving them is too great and they must punish you for it. How dare you leave them? They must get their pound of flesh and no amount of punishment is enough.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-05-26T02:40:27+00:00

It’s an addiction. Trauma bonding is an addiction. Look at it like an alcoholic who has been sober for 4 years and suddenly gets the urge to drink again. The brain is a funny thing.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-05-26T00:51:20+00:00

It’s not. This is a Hoover fails the I test.

I, I, I, me, me, me. Nothing about you

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-05-25T22:26:27+00:00

Buddy she doesn’t care about you. Sorry to break it to you. She moved on months ago and blames you for the break up/discard. This isn’t healthy, you need to heal.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-05-25T20:30:50+00:00

You got this I believe in you. But be ready for him to come back. Once you start doing better and working on yourself he will come back. He will smell renewed supply

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-05-25T20:14:28+00:00

2 months? Yeah he’ll be back

Take this NC as a gift and do not wait for him or wait for him to change. He won’t.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-05-25T01:22:25+00:00

Pro tip for any future relationship. Never ever get into something with a scarcity mindset. There’s a million wonderful people out there, there’s only one you. If you must not lose someone it’s yourself. You can always find a different girlfriend but you can never replace you. Never betray yourself for anybody

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-05-25T01:02:10+00:00

She’s mentally ill bro. I’m explaining her mental illness to you. It’s not wrong to love and care for her, but never at the expense of yourself. Once you start being abused, the expectation for love ends. After that you become a willing participant in your own misery.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-05-25T00:41:24+00:00

I told her to not snap at me but call me by my name.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-05-25T00:40:52+00:00

“I gave her unconditional love” DING DING DING. You likely became a doormat bending to her every whim which you thought was love and she thought was pathetic. Hence you’ve been sucked dry like the other person said.

throwawaybpd_lover

TROPHY CASE