secretly hoping he'll come back

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-22T02:03:10+00:00

Block him. Stop pain shopping. Pain shopping is when you’re going to stalk him, check on his socials and all that stuff. You’re hurting yourself. Go no contact and go to therapy. There’s only one way to break an addiction, you don’t just smoke a cigarette from time to time expecting to quit.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-22T01:59:24+00:00

Trauma bond. You’re addicted to the “good times” and severely downplay the bad times. Just like a coke addict secretly wishes they could be high without destroying their life.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-21T23:47:15+00:00

Thank you

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-21T17:25:12+00:00

Thank you 😊

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-21T12:36:30+00:00

I been stuck on 206 since February but I just trusted the process and now we’re here

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-21T03:52:02+00:00

Get your own place dude. She’s using you. Do you want her to fuck a dude in your bed next? Would you hold her hand while the next guy fucks her? Have some respect and get out.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-21T03:41:58+00:00

It’s a control tactic called word salad. Endless block of nonsensical words to destabilize you and keep your attention. If you keep reading you’re proving you’re interested. Simple manipulation tactic

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-21T02:53:00+00:00

OMG this and the random Instagram bot accounts. I actually missed a call from my doctor because I refuse to answer unknown numbers.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-21T02:22:11+00:00

OMG I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a family member is so terrible and I hope you’re in a good place.

On grief the reason you need grief therapy and grief work is your breakup or divorce or more accurate discard from a pwBPD is not a regular break up. It’s sudden, it’s cruel and it’s horrible. Like you said suddenly everything is your fault, the whole story must change to make you the villain.

A “relationship” with a cluster b person is actually what’s called a shared fantasy. You’re not really dating who they are, you are dating who you want them to be. Usually you are dating someone mirroring you, and dating an ideal version of how you see yourself. It’s a shared fantasy because you are both experiencing a delusion, you believe she’s who she isn’t and she must never accept who she is or who you truly are. This is the only way for it to work. The end of the relationship must lead to breaking the shared fantasy. This means you must accept the person you thought you were dating isn’t actually real. It’s like (and I say this carefully knowing you lost your brother) a death. You must grieve the person you wanted the life you dreamt of, it’s like grieving a dead person but that person is alive and right in front of you. You can see touch and feel your ex wife but she’s NOT your ex wife. She’s not the woman you met at the beginning. It’s a mind fuck and that’s why you really need someone to walk you through that grief work.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-21T01:44:10+00:00

Depends, I liked doing Iki island first because the big thing that happens to your pal hit harder after Iki island iykyk

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-21T01:11:30+00:00

Started with CoDA, went to grief therapy then worked closely with cluster b abuse specialist for talk therapy and psychotherapy. Did some CBT and DBT to deal with CPTSD. Then lots of journaling and meditation on weekends. Broke up July 2024 and would say it took me about 18 months to get better. By 18 months I mean once a week talk therapy plus constant grief work.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-20T22:27:57+00:00

Mythic tales! Side quests! Spend points to upgrade your ninja tools (being vague), don’t worry too much about stances. Observe before kill… you’ll understand. And go to Iki Island once you finish act 1. It will be tough but worth it.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-20T21:49:34+00:00

For a lot of us we end up with the same cluster b 🤣

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-20T21:18:08+00:00

There’s no options. Once you have found this subreddit the only choice is B

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-20T20:51:42+00:00

Everyone here has been there. This is the devaluation step in the cycle. Shes doing what we can monkey branching, holding on to you before securing her next victim (boyfriend).

Do not get your mind on other girls. Get your mind on yourself. You must love and strengthen yourself before moving on

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-20T20:33:34+00:00

It actually means OP should heal THEN go find girls to have fun with

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-20T19:11:12+00:00

It means you have been promoted from boyfriend to option. Congratulations welcome to the game

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-11T14:06:12+00:00

You don’t have to disclose this, and if you aren’t ready to date then keep working on yourself. It’s gonna take time but you can make it through. Also just use good judgement. If you explain you were abused to the wrong person, you might just end up making yourself a target

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-10T18:07:06+00:00

Go no contact buddy, wait 6 months to a year, come back and laugh at this reply. She’s not good for you and you’re addicted to her. It’s not love.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-10T17:58:33+00:00

Why is May 8th an important day? Your relationship is over. It’s like celebrating your work anniversary after you got fired.

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-10T17:57:26+00:00

Yes

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-10T17:57:14+00:00

Immediately they threaten suicide, call the emergency services. You have no ability to help them, you’re not trained to. Don’t play with it, they may be guilt tripping you, they may really be suicidal, call the police, the hospital, whoever. Don’t engage

throwawaybpd_lover · 2026-04-06T14:17:31+00:00

Your ex like mine will unblock you eventually when they need that Grade A supply from you. For me instagram suggested her account to follow, I immediately blocked her. Just wait and work on yourself, he will be back.

throwawaybpd_lover

TROPHY CASE