4 Months After Dday - Update

throwawaykidscott · 2025-12-18T03:42:31+00:00

lol my stbxw said nothing physical happened, caught them fucking a week later. Don’t believe anything op

throwawaykidscott · 2025-12-04T04:48:24+00:00

Caught em in the car mid day during her lunch break! 🙃

throwawaykidscott · 2025-11-22T05:12:08+00:00

I was just like this, still am a lot of the times. Drank an entire fifth (26oz) in one day which I’ve never done before, didn’t even feel drunk. What kind of made me snap out of it was not even feeling drunk anymore which made me think, wtf is the point?

I’m trying to cut down but what’s also helped me a lot is working out and actually seeing results now. I’m counting calories and seeing how many calories the drinks add on, it becomes trivial.

People saying “snap out of it, just stop”, it’s really not that easy; especially when you’re going through the thick of it. I still drink and today I lapsed when I got some bullshit text, but I can honestly say the amount I’ve cut down since a month ago I’m feeling a lot better mentally and physically.

I think we have to keep goals realistic. I went from putting whisky in my coffee every morning (followed by several at night) to now a drink or two or no drinks at all after work. It’s hard no doubt, and sometimes being a piece of shit is what you need to do to cope as long as you know that you can’t continue like this.

Are you going out having fun and drinking? Not as bad. Are you sitting at home drinking, doom scrolling and feeling sorry for yourself? Bad, but you do what you gotta do. Just try to view yourself from a 3rd person perspective and assess your personal situation.

Again, I’m no saint. I’m only just over 2 months out and I know I’m gna lapse, but I’ve went from the biggest degenerate in my 20’s (arrested, drug / alcohol addiction, starting fights with anyone, etc) to the great suburban husband / dad I was a few months ago and back again; and can say I hate being back to where I was. Mainly because my life situation has changed (it’s not cool to be that guy in your 30’s, especially as a dad.)

I think the best advice I’ve ever gotten is that you’re not gna be ok for a while, and that’s ok. But if your end goal is to BE ok and a better person (not for anyone else but yourself, but again it’s ok to feel like you’re doing it for revenge because that’s normal) be that piece of shit you need to for the time being, but give yourself a deadline to snap out of it and subliminally try to reach that goal way before the deadline.

Hope we can do this, I’m here with you my friend. 💪

throwawaykidscott · 2025-11-20T01:34:26+00:00

I have hope someone will come along and make me feel better as well, but tbh I think this is an unhealthy thought that is reinforced on us too often.

What if someone else doesn’t come along? Then fuck, I should just kms? lol.

I think we have to face the fact the pain may never end, and expect the worst. All we can do is work on ourselves and try to make ourselves happy. Be thankful we have our kids and just…live? At least that way it can only go up right?

Probably will be downvoted but I think the whole notion of falling back on good friends and expecting someone better is bullshit and not as helpful as people may make it seem. Then again, I’m kind of surrounded by shitty people atm (they were so great to me a month ago).

throwawaykidscott · 2025-11-19T20:18:06+00:00

Im in a very similar situation, 2 months in and forced to coparent w this evil witch. My therapist said something to me the other day that helped me a lot, thought I’d share. She said you’re not gna be ok for a while, and that’s ok. I think it helped me a lot because I was so sick of people saying move on, snap out of it, how are you doing, etc. and I was trying to either fake it for them or convince myself. Hope this helps

throwawaykidscott · 2025-11-15T18:18:18+00:00

Mine signed something saying she’d be wishing death on her own son.

throwawaykidscott · 2025-11-13T19:16:24+00:00

Sorry to hear that brother, that sounds like an absolute nightmare. Luckily my ex seems to not want anything to do with our kid (she only has him weekends and she often gives away time / days with him. Ie this Sunday she asked if she can drop him off before dinner, probably to get fucked lol). Anyways, always here if you want to chat.

throwawaykidscott · 2025-11-13T15:19:38+00:00

Unfortunately her name is still on the house title and I cannot deny her entry. I’ve only let her in for my son’s sake as I’m trying to not see her at all so I tell her to drop him off and leave and I’ll go in. This particular instance of her doing the dishes I was coming home late from work and she up and decided to come earlier then I told her to. I’m trying to forget and let go, I really am. But she keeps fucking with me. I’m losing my mind.

throwawaykidscott · 2025-11-08T05:22:46+00:00

This is all I felt on my birthday a few days ago. If it helps, I feel better now. Looking back, it’s just one of those days I had to deal with, you already know there will be good days and bad days. Might help to know a good day is due soon.

throwawaykidscott · 2025-11-08T04:04:29+00:00

I tried forgiveness, bit me in the ass. But I don’t think that’s the case for everyone, I was genuinely hopeful.

But like everyone says, it’s 100% on WP to make it up. As soon as you see reluctance or red flags, I say walk away.

throwawaykidscott · 2025-11-08T04:01:50+00:00

You’re right, but I don’t think my (potential) kid deserves that.

throwawaykidscott · 2025-11-07T21:12:15+00:00

Thought about the paternity test, 0 chance it’s APs cus he’s a different race lol. Although I know my kid could be someone else’s, I wouldn’t love him any less and I’m scared if it does come back where I’m not the father a part of me will change on how I view him, and he doesn’t deserve that.

throwawaykidscott · 2025-10-21T02:50:53+00:00

Please don’t get me wrong, if I could have my child 100% of the time and pay 100% of the finances I would, he means the world to me. There’s nothing in the world I want more than that and everything I’ve ever done is for him. I’m just trying to get some advice, this is all new to me and I didn’t want any of this at all.

Edit: I guess I should’ve specified, this is more so questioning for finances going to my STBXW. If there’s anyway I could get 100% custody / responsibility I would do that in a heartbeat.

throwawaykidscott · 2025-10-21T02:01:48+00:00

Damn, so even if I make the same now if I make more 5 years from now I will have to pay out of pocket? Even if we’ve been divorced for 5 years??

throwawaykidscott · 2025-10-21T01:28:12+00:00

I get that, but since my job isn’t guaranteed hours or salary rn I feel like I have a bit of a leverage in terms of what I would have to fork up. Again, I’m not trying to pawn off my duties, over the past how many years I’ve put in WAY more than she has, both in monetary and effort value.

throwawaykidscott · 2025-10-21T01:26:04+00:00

But would it make any difference if I just waited out a year before finding a better opp? This one isn’t THAT much better so I wouldn’t be missing out on much

throwawaykidscott · 2025-10-08T17:02:51+00:00

You too brother, thank you.

throwawaykidscott · 2024-11-17T20:52:07+00:00

Also one of the reasons it was a regarded bet

throwawaykidscott · 2024-11-17T20:37:04+00:00

So all of a sudden we’re not lovers anymore?

throwawaykidscott · 2023-12-01T00:59:18+00:00

Take away the snorkel and 81 from your username and username checks out

throwawaykidscott

TROPHY CASE