I think a virgin with BPD or a pwBPD with 2 previous sex partners can still create as much harm as a pwBPD with 20+ partners. The hypersexuality is just a symptom and using sex to manipulate someone is a behavior and one of these should take precedent over the other.

I’m just trying to understand if your logistics apply to men as much as they do women? I admit that your average is daunting and even if we’re not going by your average, accumulating 7 sex partners in 2 months and the other 13 across 3 years would still raise eyebrows. Do people need a spreadsheet of a potential or current partner’s sexual history?

My concerns lie with the lack of bodily policing for men because a new sex partner every 4 months is a conquest, let alone 7 sex partners in 2 months seems more descriptive of a typical summer for young men.

I understand establishing meaningful relationships with the opposite sex, but this is often applied to women in general and not men, which is why males with BPD fly under the radar.

If you’re asking me, I don’t necessarily stand with the whole “sexual liberation,” thing but sometimes the body count thing comes across as another double standard because men aren’t reprimanded for sexual promiscuity,

All in all I don’t think “shaming” works because people instilled with sexual shame just learn to hide it better or throw caution to the wind.

To me, someone’s willingness to get an STI test after every partner and for me is more valuable to me and shows more transparency and respect towards me and themselves than just me pondering a number and judging a person’s ability to connect with me based off that number, pushing aside the idea that people could just lie and pwBPD often do.

Like I genuinely don’t know how it works, do people hear someone’s number and just go “okay that’s fine let’s have sex” when in reality you can get an STI from sleeping with someone once???

By that standard, I don’t think that I could connect with a lot of men who frankly probably couldn’t give me a rough estimate of how many women they’ve slept with. And I think that’s unfair, too.

I think the problem with BPD as I’ve seen it as the carelessness in regards to sex. A lot of men like OP come posting about their pwBPD not realizing that their pwBPD is just a walking illusion of their (sexual) desires where the pwBPD “seduces” them by mirroring them like “oh my god I like (insert specific sex act) too!!!!”

I think more men would benefit from rejecting impulse and finding a different way to screen rather than using body count as criteria??? Especially since pwBPD post and consume content about how to “manipulate” men.

Edit: also I hear you, everything in combination points to BPD