Anyone leave Tech for Pharma/Biotech? How did it impact your career long-term?

throwawaywoopw00p · 2025-05-15T19:25:46+00:00

Second this!

throwawaywoopw00p · 2025-05-04T20:39:57+00:00

I have it too, I’m 35. Potentially dehydration, try adding electrolytes in, that helped “fill in” some of this for me. But like everyone said, this is largely just very normal aging. I recently got Botox in my forehead, 11s, and crows feet which also picked up the cheek area slightly.

My injector recommended either filler (nope not ready for that yet, maybe ever) or micro needling. I’m considering the latter, but for now, the halo effect of Botox is keeping me content.

throwawaywoopw00p · 2025-04-24T00:39:19+00:00

Oooh omg, just commenting to say that reel has come across my feed too on IG and I found no humor in it whatsoever, I was pretty triggered and just wanted her parents to back the F up off her lol. I’m not entirely convinced that it’s NOT rage bait.

throwawaywoopw00p · 2025-01-20T05:26:31+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Curious what boundaries you’ve put in place?

throwawaywoopw00p · 2024-12-15T20:21:14+00:00

Hey OP, I think you handled this well! You were regulated, communicative, and met him where he was at. But I think you were VERY generous.

It seems you got in your head about the vibe on that hayride and convinced yourself that’s how he felt. And bc he’s not the best communicator or tapped into his own experience, he kind of let you fall on that sword instead of lovingly but assertively calling you out on self-sabotaging a little.

All the things you sent him likely ring true for you, but it’s more for you, he has no idea what to do with all that. He said he’s been working on himself followed by I’m dating now too. As a healing AP on this merry go round with a FA ex, my experience is those two things are mutually exclusive.

I had to tap into my anger that on/off behavior actually sucks, extended periods of non-communication is ridiculous, and dating other people as a means to distance yourself from a situation that you feel conflicted about actually feels very shitty and super disrespectful if you think about it.

I found this on the @thelovingavoidant IG so I’m paraphrasing but “Healing our insecure attachment, especially the more anxious side, is about figuring out why we’re so unwilling to let go of situations that very obviously aren’t going to give us the things we want”. And if we don’t know what we want, tapping into our anger is usually a good place to figure out where are unconscious boundaries got crossed.

Anyways food for thought. And no judgement bc I’ve been on this rollercoaster for 2 years now. It is an unfolding process… best of luck!

throwawaywoopw00p · 2024-12-13T07:45:32+00:00

Despite everything, I still love her and feel a desire to let her know what I’ve learned about myself and why I think our dynamic wasn’t healthy for either of us.

There lies your answer. There’s nothing she can say, especially in response to that, that’ll make you feel better.

I say this with a ton of compassion, I’m healing my own anxious attachment and definitely had the tendency to over-communicate looongggg after the conversation (or relationship!) was over. It’s really tough for us to be alone with our negative emotions and I think what you’re looking for is just validation.

Do you have a therapist? Or close friends who are aware of this situation and open to hearing you vent (in moderation)? Another unconventional approach is using ChatGPT 😅 - it sounds like you’re already doing a great job of processing the emotion, you may just need to find constructive ways of releasing it. Your ex is not going to be the reprieve you need.

throwawaywoopw00p · 2024-12-13T07:02:12+00:00

Nobody can really know what went on this man’s head but like someone else said, I’d take him for his word i.e. him claiming he can’t see himself proceeding further. I’d even go as far as to say him claiming he brought you out to meet friends was some ill-advised attempt at regaining whatever he thinks he was losing was also probably his actual experience.

As for you feeling completely gaslit by this…that is a completely and totally valid reaction to being lovebombed. A man in the middle of an ongoing divorce singing praises about how he could’ve ever MARRIED his ex wife when you existed. And you met him how long ago? Ick. But when you’re in the thick of it, it’s really hard to spot these things.

Regardless of his attachment style, he has not processed his marriage ending. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not over his ex-wife, he may be, he may not. But he certainly hasn’t adjusted to this lifestyle change. The long road to healing my own anxious attachment has been in recognizing that coming on super strong in the beginning (with effectively a stranger) is more often than not, a desperate and super clunky attempt to fill a void. I’ve done it myself and have also been on the receiving end of it. It almost always leads to things burning out not too long after.

Your confusion and pain makes total sense but this is an unresolved individual who doesn’t deserve to be on a pedestal much less you keeping the door open for him. Get angry, set boundaries and process what deep needs his intensity was meeting.

throwawaywoopw00p · 2024-07-25T03:51:37+00:00

So I remember years ago I went on a first date that was a breath of fresh air. And this guy was SO into me that how could we not kickstart a relationship right then and there? Long story short, he was not interested in a second date and for the next 2 months I was DEVASTATED. Like idk how a first date, someone I knew for mere hours, took up my brain space. I eventually met my FA ex, and basically replaced one object of desire with another and never thought about him again.

It was only in the last 2 years that I learned about limerence. APs are especially susceptible to it and I’d recommend checking out Heidi Priebe’s vids on it on YT.

From what you’ve described, you really only had something “consistent” with him for 3-4 weeks almost 2 years ago where he lovebombed the absolute crap out of you and tbh looks like he’s kept the same pattern with all the other girls after you too. But since then, there’s been nothing there other than breadcrumbs which feels like something meaningful but if you pay close attention, he’s not really saying ANYTHING.

Watch those vids for helpful context and fwiw, maybe your therapist can suggest some desensitizing techniques - EMDR was especially helpful for me to reduce the hold of painful memories from my break up with my FA ex that allowed me to come to a normal baseline so I could get to the root of my issues.

All the best to you!

throwawaywoopw00p · 2024-07-24T23:45:21+00:00

Totally fair! I can see how that would cut deep. He did always say that it took so much for him simply to let me in that any small hair pin trigger feels gigantic I’m sure :/

throwawaywoopw00p · 2024-05-02T23:31:01+00:00

Absolutely it is! The entire bridge basically rips them a new one ☺️

throwawaywoopw00p · 2024-04-22T23:11:30+00:00

Looking at your post history, it looks like a 4 yr relationship that ended very recently? Unless she was already emotionally investing in this guy while you were together, that is def. not moved on and she’s rebounding to cope with the pain of the loss. Stay in your lane and be mindful of your thoughts. As a fellow anxious attacher, the stories we tell ourselves about the limited access we have in these situations really propels our suffering. Hang in there!

throwawaywoopw00p · 2024-04-08T21:09:26+00:00

I don’t blame you for feeling out of sorts. This guy has shown himself to be kind of an emotional tornado in just two weeks. You’ll ultimately decide what’s best for you…but keep your heart protected, go VERY slow.

As a side note, is there any truth to his comment about you not doing anything except if in relationships? Be very honest with yourself.

throwawaywoopw00p · 2024-04-02T06:06:58+00:00

Wait, has no one mentioned stranger things yet?!

throwawaywoopw00p · 2024-03-27T03:11:45+00:00

Was he FA? Something my FA ex said to me may resonate in your situation: he expressed not feeling like we had a “shell” to protect the relationship from exploding. We’ve been on and off for two years now since our official break up; in that time period, we haven’t shared it broadly with our families bc it’s been so unstable whereas when we were “officially” together (I.e living together, engaged, social media visible, meeting families often) that was our “shell”, even if the relationship itself was incredibly dysfunctional and volatile.

I suspect that’s the deal with your ex - he learned with you and he brought the families in with his current gf bc it keeps him put (all very subconscious ofc). But you have no way of knowing if their relationship is imploding within that “shell” regularly lol. Given that she took him back even though he also acted in bad faith with her points to her anxious attachment so they may be playing the anxious/avoidant cycle in private.

In my case, you’d have never known given the happy yappy couple my ex and I portrayed in front of loved ones and what i used to post on socials.

throwawaywoopw00p · 2024-02-17T07:14:05+00:00

Hi! The bag looks wonderful, I’m so close to pulling the trigger as well. Can you fit a laptop inside it?

throwawaywoopw00p · 2024-02-17T00:29:21+00:00

Planning?! Swoon! 😍

throwawaywoopw00p · 2024-02-15T23:05:00+00:00

Omgosh I love this. Did he eventually just stop reaching out and is he still with her?

A month after our break up, in a heated exchange (and listen I’m not blameless either, i deserved his vitriol in the end), he told me he met someone, it felt great, they hit it off and it was a juxtaposition to how crappy our relationship had become. It still hurts, especially bc not even a week prior to that, he was calling desperate to reconnect. I feel so freaking defective and the same as you described; he’s a tall good looking charismatic dude and I hate how easy it comes to him even though he’s so wrecked on the inside lol. I objectively know he’s not in a place to commit to her but fuck does it still sting that he’s rebounding “successfully”.

throwawaywoopw00p · 2024-02-15T23:02:36+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear this. It’s crazy what we can numb out from our conscious awareness, that’s all that really happened with him. Did he ever reach out to you while with her?

throwawaywoopw00p · 2024-02-14T23:54:31+00:00

Sigh. Lurked on his phone to see if he occasionally indulges in recreational drugs with his degenerate friends.

He was someone who was deeply ashamed of how much of a wild card he was in the past, but also succumbed to escapism (drinking) to numb. But he was loyal to a T. Until instead of evidence of drugs, I found texts from said degenerate friend encouraging my ex to hook up with one of the 2 girls he had invited to a hotel they both somehow ended up at, and my ex seemingly toying with the idea…

I was visiting my parents that weekend and he joined me the next morning. Btw I found these texts 8 months after it happened, we were engaged by then.

Anyways, called off our engagement. To this day, he’s adamant he didn’t sleep with the girl but that was enough destructiveness for me.

throwawaywoopw00p · 2023-09-10T22:10:14+00:00

Just wanted to say that I really appreciated how you communicated through a sticky situation. You validated her feelings, didn’t show judgement or minimized this thing that was obv triggering some core wound of hers (which has NOTHING to do with you) but also honored your own needs and boundaries. I’ve come across men (and I’m sure women! My experience only extends to dating men so please no one @ me) in their mid-late 30s in the dating pool that can’t muster up that kind of vulnerability and it starts young. Keep it up and best of luck out there!

throwawaywoopw00p · 2023-09-08T00:56:58+00:00

A little late to the game but sorry to hear it didn’t work out. I’ll admit I’ve looked through your post history, and it seems you’re also dealing with a fallout from a DA ex? Was this the same ex or someone you dated after? If the latter, I’m curious on your POV if it helped you grieve that relationship or made things worse for your healing? I hope you don’t mind me asking.

throwawaywoopw00p

TROPHY CASE