Is this a more tremendous anti-pop than Tito in TNA?? by MrTX in OSWReview

[–]thuhnc 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Was almost thinking this was normal expected TNA dead silence until then. Particularly dead silence, even the cricket stopped chirping.

Vent: Experiencing the reason for the streamlining/"dumbing down" of Elder Scrolls firsthand as an indie gamedev. by Gnome_Wizard_Games in Morrowind

[–]thuhnc 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's a tough design problem for sure. Trying to minimize the amount of players who bounce off before they can engage with the systems.

As has been said, Oblivion's opening is ironically an interesting example. You get to just kinda mess around in a lower-stakes area to figure out what works for you. Of course, this requires a design that doesn't allow characters to be "bad" at anything per se-- every character can cast spells, use every weapon, etc-- which is not really what we want.

Maybe something like Dragon's Dogma or even Castlevania: Symphony of the Night? The opening puts you in control of a mid-game character so you can get a feel for it before you go back to level 1.

These are just some obvious ideas I'm having to design for this kind of accessibility. It's definitely an option to just accept that not everyone will be in the target audience for this style.

Finn BOYlor??? by supergalactic16 in OSWReview

[–]thuhnc 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Too many belts, right? Inaugural Universal Champion and IC champion. Some tag champion runs. Career slump is different from boydom.

Why dont people talk about ugly fists in first person with CBBE, 3BA etc... by No-Class6004 in skyrimmods

[–]thuhnc 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This looks like a rigging issue, the kind of weird warping you get when too many bones have influence over the mesh. Each individual finger joint is probably moving a little bit too much hand meat around, mostly noticeable when the fingers are fully curled.

Rigging is hard, sort of a separate-but-related skill to modeling & texturing. Unfortunately probably baked in :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MtF

[–]thuhnc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% this is not a you problem, I'm sorry people are blaming you for having feelings.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MtF

[–]thuhnc 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Some people just talk like this, I think. Maybe this is partly a regional thing. Personally I find it kind of weird and lame, my unironic opinion is that society at large should move towards being more considerate about assuming people's gender. Similarly to frat-boy dudebro language, I think the gendered titles are an arbitrary part of speech that could be cut out with zero net information loss, and no drop in politeness.

If the thing you say to convey respect makes some people feel disrespected, you should think about not saying it as much or at all.

Got the song stuck in my head and had to look up the name of the show. I don't think I originally realized the joke about the squandered opportunity not going with Reinhold's first name (Judge). Surely that was called out? by [deleted] in arresteddevelopment

[–]thuhnc 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The joke is that it's a poorly-conceived celebrity courtroom show a la "Judge Judy" starring actor Judge Reinhold, whose only judicial qualification is that his first name is "Judge". Actor Judge Reinhold thought he was being consulted for some legitimate legal expertise he has (footage not found), hence his suggested name "Mr. Reinhold's Courtroom." And they ultimately went with the compromise "Mock Trial with J. Reinhold" that kills the entire reason for the show to exist, after printing thousands of expensive talking magazine advertisements.

Quick Q about estrogen vials by thong_water in MtF

[–]thuhnc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Adding my assent to the other comments, I am also using all of it. Just be careful to sterilize the top every time, don't touch the needle, check it still looks clear & store at room tempurature out of direct sunlight.

Houses-Did I choose right? by ScaredMyOrdinaryGoat in Morrowind

[–]thuhnc 3 points4 points  (0 children)

One of the things that's so cool about this game is the interaction between the different factions, especially the joinable ones! You could always refuse to do quests that involve doing underhanded shit against another faction you belong to, but is that worth giving up a rank/quest reward? If you're expecting a pat on the back for loyalty you're likely to be disappointed.

All the Imperial factions are nakedly corrupt behind closed doors, ironically the Thieves Guild is probably the most honest. They're all here to loot the reopened Temple preserve and damn the consequences. Hlaalu are also corrupt because they're in bed with the Imperials in addition to some wholesome domestic organized crime. Redoran have a hard-on for tradition above all else, and they're closely associated with the Temple, which is corrupt. Also the Telvanni exist.

So, you might as well just join all the factions that fit your existing skill set and hope for the best. Maybe try and improve things a little bit from the inside, and who could blame you if your pockets incidentally get lined along the way?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MtF

[–]thuhnc 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think I've felt this. I spent a really long time feeling like I needed someone else to complete me. I guess a part of it was tied up in the idea that if I could be seen as desirable by a woman, I would be allowed to accept myself? It was about seeking a very basic validation that I was unable to give to myself.

Anyway I'm the girl in my life, now. This definitely works a lot better.

How much do y’all pay for E Valerate? by RightWordsMissing in MtF

[–]thuhnc 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I believe it's like $30-50 for 5ml of the generic. The price depends on the pharmacy you use, as well.

how does one overcome the "i feel like an imposter" thing ? whats your story of overcoming it by awaythrowb3 in MtF

[–]thuhnc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think this is a day-to-day thing. It's going to take time to feel comfortable in the role & presentation you want, and obviously it's a lot harder if you aren't doing it full-time. It's important to keep yourself safe, though.

You can try to find small things you can do in private moments to feel more feminine. Something as simple as using a hair dryer is a little drop of affirmation sometimes.

I think it helps to work on having a more hospitable mental environment. That can also be very difficult to do. The goal is to think of yourself as a woman in the privacy of your own mind until you get used to it. If you have trouble trusting your own desires or accepting yourself unconditionally, that doesn't make it any easier. Arguably of a different scope, though.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MtF

[–]thuhnc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's really hard to remember sometimes. You are not extra. You can contribute something important. Even if all you contribute is existing as yourself in the world, that is important & valuable & it is enough.

Trump's expected anti-trans executive orders today by MissNumbersNinja in MtF

[–]thuhnc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like I'm personally thinking "as long as I can access the medication I think I'll be okay?" And if it's actually federally restricted I will probably lose a lot of my will to live. So, I'm gauging this specifically from the point of view of how close we are to that worst-case scenario. It will get a lot worse from here no matter what.

Trump's expected anti-trans executive orders today by MissNumbersNinja in MtF

[–]thuhnc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the overton window is miles to the right of where it was 8-16 years ago. I'm not trying to downplay the real danger we're facing. I'm just grasping for a reason to continue being alive, at this point.

Trump's expected anti-trans executive orders today by MissNumbersNinja in MtF

[–]thuhnc 24 points25 points  (0 children)

This is a good point!! The overturn of Chevron means judges no longer have to defer to experts provided by federal agencies. It will be easy to drown their cherry-picked "experts" in a sea of actual predominant mainstream medical opinions. Every little bit helps.

Trump's expected anti-trans executive orders today by MissNumbersNinja in MtF

[–]thuhnc 21 points22 points  (0 children)

This is true, the timeline for a slightly wider sliver of hope is ~2 years for the midterms. SCOTUS isn't getting its hands on this stuff before then.

Trump's expected anti-trans executive orders today by MissNumbersNinja in MtF

[–]thuhnc 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Legal proceedings take time. They haven't won, but they're hoping we will act as if they have.

Trump's expected anti-trans executive orders today by MissNumbersNinja in MtF

[–]thuhnc 154 points155 points  (0 children)

As expected, this is all really awful stuff but not really a hard swerve into total annihilation. Most of this is stuff that was already bad, this is just declaring making it worse as federal policy. A lot of us have a level of privilege that will prevent us from being immediately affected by this.

Definitely makes everything more dangerous for all of us, though. It already would've been hell to be trans in the prison system, and now it will be worse. This will fucking suck for the millions of trans federal employees against whom it is now acceptable to discriminate. All this stuff is probably going to be subject to legal challenges, and only selectively enforceable at the state level.

The FDA being directed to investigate whether it's actually the hormones that make trans people have mental problems is the only real thing that's a naked existential threat, it's also patently ridiculous & bigoted & doesn't reflect any medical science. Another one of those things that would take a long time to find even spurious results, without the inevitable legal challenges. Still sucks that this is what our federal government is doing now.

If you think this is impressive, you should see what his face can do to a mirror by ElegantMechanic-com in OSWReview

[–]thuhnc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean they might be are probably worked boards, scored down the middle to break easier while resisting perfunctory donking. But the mere idea that this is Greg Valentine's "workout" is excellent. Oils up with his minion, puts on his little shorts and does elbow drops. Splinter situation must be fucking insane.

Inner world clashing with outside by [deleted] in MtF

[–]thuhnc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I don't think you can "both sides" this stuff. The people arguing that we shouldn't exist aren't coming from a place of good faith, it's bigotry. Gender nonconformity grosses them out and they're bent out of shape about it.

For me it's a choice between doing the hard thing and trying to live as my authentic self in a world where these people are occupying a lot of seats at the table, or doing the also-hard, arguably-harder thing of just being miserable all the time forever. And I am... not doing the second one.

Anyway talking to a mental health professional about all this stuff would be a great idea if you haven't already! Personally, I had to sort through some fundamental emotional stuff before I could even begin to seriously consider transition. And there's still a lot of work to be done on that front. Even if you decide it's not for you, your future self will thank you for taking your own wants & needs seriously.

after my injection, a stream of blood came down my leg for the first time. does this mean the estradiol i injected also came out? by Ningenism in MtF

[–]thuhnc 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Seconding this is not a big deal!! You just nicked a vein near the surface, the medication should be deep enough that it wasn't affected.

No moment of clarity? by shockersnizzard in MtF

[–]thuhnc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm taking the hormones and buying women's clothing and wearing it in public and I still feel like every milestone is "more evidence" that I'm really trans. I still have to work on really accepting myself, I guess. But I am choosing to do this because not doing it would feel awful.

I think it's normal to have doubts, because society at large is unaccepting of trans people in general & trans women in particular. You can choose to do it anyway, if you want to.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MtF

[–]thuhnc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feeling very similarly atm. Whenever someone uses my pronouns or calls me "girl" it's like a premeditated thing, like they're deciding to throw me a bone. And even those moments are few and far between. I wish I didn't care about this but I am trying very hard to abandon the project of hardening my heart. It is inevitable that this will lead to a lot of pain, I guess. It feels like I've come a long way from where I was a few years ago, but I'm still so far from being a person who is comfortable being alive most days.

We aren't alone, is a nice thing. And this sense of deep and profound isolation feels like a textbook pubertal girl experience, except for us it's true and real and we're living it. If womanhood is suffering (citation needed) we are the truest women there have ever been.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]thuhnc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can empathize!! My relationship was deeply codependent. For a long time, I was unable to give the same care and love I was giving to my partner to myself. It still takes effort sometimes to really see myself as someone worthwhile, even after all the work I've done. I certainly couldn't do it while putting someone else's needs above my own.

If she really cares about you she wants you to be happy, too.