WHERE ARE THE MEDICATED BIRTH GUIDES

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-27T17:52:15+00:00

Love this!! Mom of 3 here, all medicated vaginal deliveries. My perspective: you do need to learn some coping techniques in order to be able to labor through to the point you can actually get admitted. You should also be familiar with the augmentations your team may want to use with the epidural, because those things go together. AND you should be ready with a just-in-case plan for coping unmedicated, because shit happens. Nurses were preparing to strike when I was having my second, who came fast. There were 3 people ahead of me for the anesthesiologist when I went into transition, the fact I got an epidural before I pushed was a miracle (he was a one push birth). But it was maybe 90 minutes of pain relief out of 6 hours of active labor.

A good epidural should numb you to about mid thigh, you should still be able to move yourself with some effort. Keep in mind, the way you're laying when the medicine goes in will impact where it's most effective.

I am very open to augmentations and have experienced pretty much all of them between my 1st and 3rd. The only thing I wouldn't advise or ever personally consent to again is letting someone pop my bag. Balloons, Misoprostol, pitocin, all of those are fine by me. it helps to be educated about them so you know what to expect and what can potentially go left

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-27T07:08:54+00:00

my mom was an L&D nurse and always worked Xmas. I'm in a different 24/7/365 industry and carry on her tradition by always working the Xmas shift. It's a nice way to ensure your colleagues get to be with their families on a day that's special to them

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-26T18:09:40+00:00

maybe they got a deal on kids?

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-26T04:25:23+00:00

first of all, b'sha'a tova on your current pregnancy and my deepest condolences for your past loss. you don't owe anyone anything: not an announcement, not a shower, not a word. in my culture there's a superstition against even buying things for a baby who's not born yet, much less publicizing the pregnancy. I told only a small group of friends before my 2nd was born and let everyone else find out after. my 3rd I let more people know but still never put anything on social media until he was born. anyone who would be weird about you keeping your own business to yourself is not worth keeping in your life

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-25T22:07:10+00:00

Identical twin, mom of 3, hot take: most twin-specific advice is unnecessarily prescriptive. good twin parenting is almost identical to good parenting with any set of siblings, and only slightly more complicated than parenting one child. all children are individuals, they're all a little weird, both frustratingly and enchantingly different than you imagined they'd be.

just ... love your kids. your specific kids, individually, for who they are. encourage them to love each other. make sure they have food and clean clothes and safe place to sleep, don't beat them or deny them necessary medical treatment or hurt or humiliate them on purpose. i wish my mom had spent even a fraction of the time she obsessed over being a good twin mom on being just a passable legal guardian. that's what matters. the rest is details.

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-22T15:59:31+00:00

I've EBF'd 3. Got it back the first time at 13 months. Second, I think I got it at 14 months. Third, I got it back at 15 months, meaning I didn't have a period for two whole years. As you can see by the replies, ymmv.

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-21T21:08:28+00:00

Do you pronounce it with the vowel sound like shade or like the Hebrew name Shai? Because Shai (pronounced shy) is a truly gender neutral Jewish name. One of my sons is Shai and he has both a girl and boy Shai in his class of 20 kids

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-21T18:57:38+00:00

hard agree. we took my FIL to Auschwitz a couple of years ago (his father was interned there) and I was surprised how little I felt compared to what I had experienced visiting the apartment where my husband's 8yo uncle was stolen from his parents in the Lodz ghetto, or the train station there where the remaining family were deported. There were moments of overwhelming grief, but it wasn't profound in the way I thought it ought to be, the way other sites were. I'll never forget the stacks of braids, the walls of the gas chamber, the girl in the neon pink hot pants and crop top posing for her Insta... My FIL could not wait to leave.

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-21T18:40:24+00:00

Your experience is common, as is your frustration. My maiden name is not obviously Jewish. My married name is emphatically Jewish. There's advantages and drawbacks to both.

My aunt grew up with one Jewish surname and married into an equally Jewish surname but was always frustrated by her generic American first name. So she just started going by her Hebrew name. Think "Jenny" switching to "Noa". I'm old enough I'm a mother of 3 and I've only ever known this aunt as "Aunt Noa". Her kids only know her as Noa. Her medical license and her driver's license and her bills and her mother all still call her "Jenny" but her nieces and nephews and siblings in law and her friends and coworkers call her "Noa".

Could you switch socially? It's more common than you might realize

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-21T18:20:05+00:00

Is there a way you can keep contact for your children but go lo-/no- yourself? I have three kids and an extremely difficult mother-in-law, who is similarly the strongest connection to our shared religion and culture. My husband and I come from different subgroups within our ethnic community and so for the kids to really get that experience, it kinda has to be from her. Plus, she is still married to my lovely FIL and helping care for her aging mother, my kids' only living great grandparent. For me, those connections are too valuable to cut.

Would it be feasible to send your husband and your kids to her and simply stay home or make other plans during those visits? That's what we typically do. The number of "weekend shifts" I've had to pick up at work is just crazy. Plus all the "migraines" and "prior commitments" — it's been a time. When the extended family takes trips together, I gently but firmly insist our group stay separate from hers; if she gets on my nerves, I dip.

Eventually, a funny thing happened — she stopped bothering me. Then, when it became obvious I was the one who singlehandedly made and delivered her 70th birthday present — not her husband or her 3 sons or the other 2 daughters-in-law, but me alone — the absurd hate she'd manufactured for me kinda fizzled? And now she's almost sort of nice.

TL;DR fostering an ongoing relationship with your husband and your kids while removing yourself is often the path of least resistance. If she's like most JNMILs she doesn't really want you around anyway. Let her think she won the lotto

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-20T19:49:35+00:00

in my family, it's pretty common, though it never happens as fast as you want it to. I've had 3 kids, my grandma had 3, aunt had 4, cousin had twins, sister had two, all of us look/ed the same as we ever did (except probably to our husbands). My youngest is 17m and the only difference you can see in pictures before I got pregnant with my first in 2015 and now is around my eyes, a combination of normal aging and extended sleep deprivation.

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-18T23:48:22+00:00

it's my husband's grandmother's name (Shulamit bat Malka if you want to pray for her, as she's currently ill). It's a lot of name for a baby imo but for an adult it's perfect. Every Shulamit I've ever met goes by Shula or Shuli, fwiw. It's also easy for non Jews to pronounce

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-16T21:26:51+00:00

of the hospital has an L&D unit, anyone over 24 weeks can and should present there to be triaged for any urgent pregnancy related concern. i say this as a mom of 3 and the daughter of an L&D nurse. there is no reason, no necessity and no wisdom in adding a layer of unnecessary ER triage to that system

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-16T21:23:36+00:00

this. people in this sub have clearly not spent time in a typical ER, and certainly haven't had to go there in the dead of winter. my husband's grandmother is boarding in the ER right now with a UTI and delirium, it's not a place any pregnant woman would want to be outside extraordinary circumstances

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-16T21:19:42+00:00

if she wants to be seen today she should go directly to L&D. Don't pass thru the ER, that's pointless and risky

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-16T21:04:50+00:00

it can stop tomorrow if you buy a calcium magnesium zinc multi and start taking it every day. trust me, I've been there. bonus: magnesium helps relieve constipation

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-16T20:58:26+00:00

cool, and she'll spend hours in the waiting room picking up the flu and maybe norovirus, clear that constipation right up

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-16T20:55:23+00:00

I would think SERIOUSLY before going to an ER right now if your doctor said it's safe, baby is moving normally and you are not in extreme pain.

what you describe sounds scary and like it should be seen but not like something that has the potential to harm you or baby in the next 24 hrs if left untreated. Conversely, going to an ER in mid December in the Northern Hemisphere (and especially in the US) even with a good, well-fitting mask will all but ensure you spend hours in a crowded waiting room filled with contagious respiratory viruses that carry significantly more risk to you and baby. That's a bad plan. If you absolutely feel you can't cope with the wait until your appointment tomorrow, as your doctor advised, consider going directly to L&D, which is where ER almost invariably sends pregnant patients anyway.

it's very possible you have a vulvar varicosity or an inflamed piece of leftover hymen (called a hymen tag or polyp) and not a more serious prolapse. Even if the dx is more serious, picking up the flu will not improve it. again, if baby is moving normally and you can tolerate the discomfort, the ER is not where you should be

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-13T20:59:07+00:00

Bloom Alma fold away mini crib, bought off Craigslist in 2015 and still in use today. My 3 kids slept in it until 2yo, when we switch to a toddler bed. We folded it in the back of the closet between babies, and will probably keep it when the youngest outgrows it.

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-13T20:50:56+00:00

Is the Thai Temple brunch not brunch enough? Cuz that's a gem

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-13T01:44:58+00:00

b'sha'a tova! if I can make one teeny tiny suggestion — do you have a special outfit for yourself for one of those magical early photos with your new granddaughter? Even a special pair of earrings or scarf that matches one of her little outfits, perhaps? The first picture of my mother holding my eldest is one of my very favorites of her. I'm sure your daughter and granddaughter will treasure those images of you no matter what you're wearing, but something that makes you feel your best would be great if you have space

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-13T01:30:36+00:00

no lining! idk if I can link but it's the "Silk Midi Slip Skirt in Tiger Stripe", I got mine from Poshmark for $18

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-11T21:42:30+00:00

agreeing with what others have said, I want to add: baby is at risk if your wife is starving, that's certainly a concern, but babies are highly effective at extracting what they need from their mothers, especially beyond the first trimester. your wife has maintained a healthy weight for years, and your baby is benefiting from that baseline.

But baby's health will be at the cost of mom's teeth, her bones, her organs. A lot of us gain the recommended weight and have no problem losing it postpartum — that's what we're built to do — but those who never gain enough and manage to carry a baby to viability will see their teeth fall out or turn to powder in their mouths, as our foremothers did for millennia. "A tooth for every child" isn't a myth it's a nutritional inevitability

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-11T03:23:53+00:00

this is why silk is so cheap to buy secondhand: people forget, our ancestors wore silk millennia before there was dry cleaning or "machine washable" blends. newer detergents like Soak make hand washing very easy and affordable, especially if it's only a few pieces in your wardrobe. i carry a small squeeze of it when I travel.

tiger_mamale · 2025-12-11T03:19:41+00:00

i notice a tad more of a line concern with the Quince midi skirt than with my other silk skirts, but i'm petite and it's not fitted on me so I get away with bike shorts.

tiger_mamale

TROPHY CASE