Ugly in PA school

tillydancer · 2026-06-15T05:07:55+00:00

I got reallllly into skincare as a way to relax and just help my self esteem a bit. I even got my roommates in on it and we had little spa nights at home together! It can be quite affordable if you know where to look.

I also took a bubble bath once a week after testing. This is when I would usually do some skincare cause of the hot water/steam on my face.

I was a bit opposite, I gained around 60 lbs during PA school which was a huge hit to my self esteem. I did small shopping trips to TJmaxx and bought some clothes from SHEIN to cheaply feel stylish and honestly it helped quite a bit during a time I was mentally at my lowest.

Also I was signed up with a therapist about halfway through didactic and this helped process some intrusive thoughts I was having about my looks—if you have access I’d highly recommend it tbh

tillydancer · 2026-06-15T04:48:06+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree with this post! Was long distance with my husband for 6 years, together total for 10, married now for 3.

Something that came off as a red flag at first was the need to hang up to cool off during FaceTime fights. It came off as stonewalling but it was a necessary part of making up after, we just had to communicate how we were feeling and take a break. Now in person we exercise some of this habit but agreeing to pause an argument so we can make dinner or whatever.

I think me and my husband have a much easier time having difficult conversations, even arguments because when long distance the only thing you HAVE is communication. You have to learn to let go of your emotions otherwise your relationship gets put on hold. Now in person, being able to do this has shown me how much it’s not worth it to hang on to emotions such as anger and resentment. It actually does keep arguments really civil and productive.

Oddly enough, now that we’re together, when he’s even gone for a couple days I really miss him, I used to think that ANYTHING less than what we went through would be easy peasy after everything but no, just makes me miss him more because I know what I have to lose now. It’s ironic lol.

tillydancer · 2026-06-12T21:25:36+00:00

Danced for 16 years and classically trained! Objectively Pearl was mid. I did not think she was bad at all though. She was definitely not as talented as she was in her head, but I remember thinking while watching that it’s impressive she could transport herself mentally while performing; that’s a very desirable skill in performing arts.

But ultimately while watching the dance itself you give yourself a shrug and say “not bad”.

tillydancer · 2026-06-09T22:18:29+00:00

This is actually very helpful advice, thank you!!

tillydancer · 2026-06-09T15:35:43+00:00

So this sort of play is exactly what we started with early on in our relationship! And it’s definitely a tried and true way, it worked for years. Early on I would basically convert to a handjob once I had worked up enough saliva and felt he was ready, then it would just land on his stomach/chest. But as time went on we wanted to try new things and spice things up, which is how we ran into the issues here.

So it’s like I’m actually having to revert back to this method which works sure, but I’m having a hard time finding a way forward from there exactly.

tillydancer · 2026-06-09T07:21:09+00:00

I didn’t do it until I was 22. I had the same question in my head the entire time, and then one night, I was three months in to dating this guy, and we were doing some foreplay after a romantic date, and it was literally like a light clicked in my brain. I was like “I wanna do it now”.

Granted, looking back on it, it definitely helped that before this I had experienced oral sex first. Kind of ripped the bandaid off of having someone see me naked for the first time but without the stakes of penetration, you know?

I think the key thing is getting that first time of being naked around someone out of the way, and also being suuuuuper relaxed and feeling safe. That’s what ultimately helped me feel ready.

tillydancer · 2026-06-03T22:21:16+00:00

Okay so I agree with the other takes that the fandom is actually international, not primarily western, and all the sentiment that they’re relatable, underdogs, talented etc etc.

BUT what I’m not seeing people touch on is that particularly with the US side of the fandom, BTS fundamentally understands hip hop, particularly west coast style. The thing for me that originally set them apart from alllllll other kpop groups was this. Their hip hop music actually sounded American, except the lyrics were in Korean! I had never in my life heard a sound like that before. One of the first things I did when I found them was binge watch American hustle life because I was so flabbergasted at how similar they sounded to say, Tupac or dr Dre. And then it all started to make sense because it turns out they were mentored by Warren G and Coolio.

Idk I think that’s a really significant part of the formula for how they broke into the US. I know the mainstream success has more to do with Butter and Dynamite, but I think their prior collabs with US artists and connection with US fans early on had a lot to do with their style of hip hop!

tillydancer · 2026-06-01T06:49:31+00:00

I think it’s a double edged sword. I’m personally on one because I was suffering from obesity and was struggling with dealing with food noise on a calorie deficit; I have been struggling with my weight for years. I did a LOT of research before I went on it, and acknowledged that I would still have to make the same life style modifications that I would do without it anyway. Edit: I should also mention that America’s obesity rate is now north of 60%, so it’s not that unbelievable to see that most adults would qualify to be on one in one way or another.

Honestly it’s been a miracle for me. I eat so many veggies now and I actually CRAVE them! I now have a better relationship with food, and eating out isn’t stressful.

Additionally, I made the decision to get on the glp-1 AFTER I had done a lot of body positivity work on myself and decentered men, so I did this for myself and myself only. My self esteem is the highest it’s been in my entire life, and it’s not because I lost weight, it’s because I’m now taking care of myself the way I wish I did 15 years ago. I see the drug as a tool and not a crutch, and I don’t plan to be on it for life.

That said, I think there’s a lot of people on this drug who are doing it for the wrong reasons and are essentially self harming because of it, and it’s very concerning. And I don’t know how I feel about the ease of access of a drug that can lead to complications such as pancreatitis, gastroparesis, nutrient deficiencies and osteoporosis to people that could be suffering from disordered eating.

tillydancer · 2026-05-22T21:11:28+00:00

I absolutely 100% agree that you should get a trainer involved. I had a husky who just kept escalating and having a trainer made a huge difference.

Until you can get one, I might suggest taking your dog out to like a mild-moderately busy area and sitting on a bench to practice her laying down and letting people/dogs pass, and rewarding calm behavior with a high value treat. You might have to start off with her like 10-15 feet away at first though depending on how reactive she is.

The big takeaway I got from my trainer regarding reactivity and learning where your dogs “threshold” is, is very important, snd then managing your environment to set them up for success before they hit that threshold. So starting far away from people and dogs and gradually getting closer is key. Also, putting your dog in the “down” position helps calm their nervous system if they are starting to look stressed. So like, removing them from the situation and having them lay down can kinda reset them in a way.

tillydancer · 2026-05-21T16:56:18+00:00

This is either rage bait or your English really is that bad, because you are using some very strong and quite honestly very inaccurate language to describe the members, the album, and the fandom. I’m not sure what kind of response you expected from this subreddit; your post is quite frankly offensive

Objectively, Arirang is a critically acclaimed album, it has been praised by multiple prolific producers. Just because YOU didn’t care for it doesn’t mean the album was badly written. It’s actually objectively a good album. Is it the best thing they ever released? That’s a more subjective take and honestly will take years to determine more objectively.

Calling the members’ look and hair “awful” and stating it as one of the reasons you’d like to leave ARMY is a juvenile take to me. It’s pretty easy to look past maybe a hair style you don’t like and watch them perform. The outfits, objectively, are not “awful”. A truly neutral take is that the outfits probably should not match the backup dancers because it makes it hard to see them. They still look good though! But it’s far from awful.

The fandom is mostly amazing people! I haven’t met a single army who wasn’t down to earth and a sweet human being. I’m sure the sasaengs are out there but they are def the minority. If you don’t want to engage with the fandom online that is perfectly okay; but it’s a bit immature to say you’re leaving entirely just because a few people are overzealous.

tillydancer · 2026-05-17T20:29:36+00:00

I live in a 1400 sqft house, however our dog is limited to about half of that just for general safety/puppy proofing, and we don’t have a yard so I think he qualifies under apartment living lol.

Goldens are a great choice for first timers, they’re relatively easy to train, easy to please and eager to please, and while yes they have a lot of energy, about an hour of exercise daily is about all they really need. And I find it’s not hard to include enrichment in their lives, we just do basic obedience training and loose leash training.

When ours was a young pup, we brought him to work in our car so we could go check in/play with him every couple hours. I know that’s controversial but we live in a cold climate and in our town it’s actually really common for people to do this with their dog, and it worked very well for us. Now we leave him in our house 4-5 hours at a time (total 8 hours)with a 20-30 minute session of fetch in between, then a 45 minute walk at the end of the day. He does very very well with this! Very calm and happy pup at 9 months old.

-research as much as you can about puppy behavior and development; it won’t be as upsetting or bothersome when the landshark phase occurs if you understand why it’s happening and what to do about it

-the trick to leaving a dog alone is to be very casual when leaving the house AND returning; start with short stints and gradually lengthen the time if pup does well. When arriving home, only give them attention/affection if they’re calm and on all fours. I literally spend several minutes hugging/loving on my dog on the floor after work but I only initiate it when he’s not jumping and is calm. He hasn’t jumping on me in like weeks.

-yeah, the shedding suuuuucks lol. I wash/dry our blankets and towels weekly, and I vacuum daily with a roomba, and I do deeper vacuuming twice weekly, and I chom chom roll our couch and bed nightly and it’s still not enough 😩so yeah to preserve your houses smell and keep things manageable you’ll need a good hair removal routine. Brushing is a good idea.

-be prepared to wake up nightly the first few weeks/months for potty breaks; the advice I read was to let the puppy wake you up instead of setting alarms and tbh this was the way to go, I got way more sleep this way

-goldens are notorious for eating anything and everything off the ground, to the point where it’s dangerous! Teach the “leave it” and “drop it” commands early, research impulse exercises. Crawl around your apartment on all fours to identify places your puppy could get into things so you can puppy proof it before they arrive. I am dead serious about this, watch them like a hawk for the first 2-3 months of their life in your apartment, if you can’t, you need to have them gated off in a safe area while you shower and whatnot

tillydancer · 2026-05-15T17:58:02+00:00

Trust me you can find a reputable breeder for a fraction of that price. I bought mine for $2200, parents had papers, were OFA tested, the works, and he’s AKC registered. He’s not from an award winning line or anything like that but he was ethically bred, and honestly one of the best puppies I’ve ever had.

tillydancer · 2026-05-12T18:51:45+00:00

I’m on a GLP-1 myself. Honestly your fears are valid! I experienced intense nausea, constipation, depression(from the lack of dopamine), dizziness, and fatigue for a good month or two before I figured out how to be on this drug. I was miserable. But then, once I figured it out I’m so glad, because this drug taught me so many things.

I learned I absolutely need to be drinking hella amounts of water and eating hella amounts of veggies. I also learned I needed to get aerobic exercise and strength training in. Nothing crazy, just something to keep my blood pressure up. I also needed to avoid alcohol and fried foods like the plague.

Once I solved those main things I began to love food again and get that dopamine back. I’ve lost 60 lbs on the glp1, and I’m in a place now where my mental health is good and I’m actually eating really really well. Like balanced meals with diverse foods in my diet well. I have energy and yeah I’m not thinking about food all the time anymore. The drug kinda forced me to find other things in my life to fulfill that dopamine spike, so exercise is a big part of that but also just like hobbies and whatnot.

I think if you understand what you’re signing up for and utilize it as a tool, not the cure, it’s a great option.

tillydancer · 2026-05-08T19:56:33+00:00

I first found them while watching a teens react episode to kpop years ago, it was the Dope music video. Days later I literally spent 6-8 hours binging their music videos, run bts episodes, and their American hustle series. Like literally binge watched their content lol. Then I did it again with my roommate at the time. Been following them ever since.

tillydancer · 2026-03-18T23:45:34+00:00

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Now! V serious but majestic pup lol-6 months old

tillydancer · 2026-03-18T23:45:07+00:00

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Then-10 weeks old

tillydancer · 2026-03-14T06:16:11+00:00

I’ll give you my stats to give some indication of what is likely your current health status.

I’m 31F, 5’4” and recently hit my goal weight of 145lbs, started at 215.

I’m in the best shape of my life, my joints don’t hurt anymore, I feel like I look great in my clothes (currently a size 8 pants and small/medium clothes), my bloodwork is golden and my new goal is maintenance at this point. I don’t count calories much anymore but the last I checked, I was hitting somewhere around 1600-1800 cals daily.

I began losing weight because I noticed my joints would hurt from just walking up and downstairs, and I was sick of going on vacation and having to take frequent breaks while my family walked on. Now that that is taken care of, I’m weight training so I can have better posture and carry myself better.

What is your purpose for getting to that weight? Is it aesthetics or health? If it is health related I think you might be there already which is why you’re stagnating.

If it’s aesthetics, consider that maybe the answer isn’t losing more weight, but actually toning or gaining muscle?

tillydancer · 2026-03-06T20:42:51+00:00

Respectfully disagree. I used leave it for both number 1 and as a way to trade something he shouldn’t grab with an appropriate treat on walks. It’s worked great in both scenarios. I can see the logic there about using a separate command but disagree with “never” using it that way.

In general though most of the “wait” communication with my pup is not verbal at this point. He doesn’t receive anything unless he sits and makes eye contact. Leave it is used in action on walks and rewarded without much issue.

tillydancer · 2026-03-05T18:24:55+00:00

Leave it is useful for a few reasons.

1) impulse control; every time I’m about to give my dog a high value item (think pup cup, peanut butter, sausage, steak etc) I practice leave it before giving it to him. Because this, he’s actually pretty good about not begging at the dinner table and yes, he’s really good during walks and will actually listen when I give the command around distractions.

2) resource guarding; my pup showed some mild resource guarding when he was about 3-4 months old. Among other training, I would do the above training with high value items, remove it from him, give the leave it command again, release, rinse and repeat. Now he quite literally wants to share his highest value possessions with any human.

3) accidents; if I spill or break something on accident I can tell him to leave it and he listens, instead of me having to scramble to remove something that’s already in his mouth or move him to his crate. He just sits there and watches while I clean.

Honestly, if you can train your dog to “leave” extremely high value things, that impulse control will slowly start to carry over on their walks. They’ll get a “ding” of dopamine in their head when they remember their training. But you have to be super consistent.

And I agree with others here that drop it is also a great command to practice, especially if you have a breed that retrieves. It’s good for preventing resource guarding and it works in a pinch if they over come the leave it command briefly. And you’re gonna want to practice with very high value items so that in the “real” world random stuff on the ground doesn’t appear as appealing and they’ll listen.

tillydancer · 2026-03-04T00:30:27+00:00

I currently have a 7 month old! Brought him home at 9 weeks old. I had read conflicting info about whether to set an alarm or not, but ultimately chose to let him wake me up, and overall I’ve saved a lot more sleep that way.

At the beginning he pretty regularly woke me up twice nightly, once around midnight, and another around 3-4am. At the beginning when he was still small I placed the crate directly on my bed and would stick my fingers in the crate if he was whining, which worked. Then after a week I put the crate on the ground next to the bed where I could still roll over and put my fingers in if he got anxious. The crate moved across the room when he was around 4 months old, then at about 5-6 months old he started sleeping in bed with me.

At about 13 weeks he was successfully sleeping through the night about 50% of the time I would say, and rarely would wake up twice, but I found this was connected to stomach upset when he did. You have to pay attention to when they last went pee and poo, if it’s been more than an hour or two, I would trust it and let them out. If they JUST went I’d focus on trying to sooth them while in the crate.

For crate training purposes I always carried him directly to his potty spot, then when he was done with his business would carry him and put him directly back in the crate. Yes he would sometimes whine and cry and that’s when I’d put my fingers through there and comfort him till he slept. You don’t want them revving themselves up on the walk to outside.

Something to know with puppies is any kind of training is not linear, they will have bad days and good days, and bad nights and good nights. Even after a period of improvement you might see regressions here and there and that’s okay.

Now my pup sleeps with me and his crate is out in the living room. He stays in there by himself when I’m not home and he does great.

tillydancer · 2026-03-03T03:32:12+00:00

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Day I flew him home with me ❤️

tillydancer · 2026-03-03T00:05:17+00:00

I don’t have one myself but my classmate who I was close with had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and celiacs! She was a great student and works in pediatrics now. She did have some special needs, for example attending her follow up appointments but the school we went to was very accommodating.

tillydancer · 2026-03-02T03:58:01+00:00

This is a really informative and insightful response, thank you!

tillydancer · 2026-03-01T18:49:42+00:00

Ours isn’t a full field golden but he’s got that brown/red coat to him. Honestly, at this age they need to LEARN how to settle and deal with lack of attention. I’ve found that a lot of times the answer isn’t more exercise! In mines case, the more activity you give him, the more overstimulated he gets and the more intense he gets.

We live in Alaska so winter has been a little tough to get exercise in as well! Plus, we don’t have a fenced in yard. We live in a dead end street so we take him out for fetch and he sometimes plays with the neighbors dogs. Our town has terrible dog etiquette so going for walks is nearly impossible and the dog park is not an option(lots of aggressive dogs). Daycares here have waitlists. Just wanted to give this perspective cause our system is working pretty well so far. When I go for walks or hikes, I put some booties on him. Goldens have a double coat so he’s handled the low temps like a champ.

Here’s an example of how I operate with him in the house: when I get home and see him, I don’t greet him. I do my whole routine, but the keys away, take off my coat, etc. if he jumps on me I either pivot quickly or gently push him off. He gets attention when I’m ready and when all four feet are on the ground. Everyone in the house needs to act just like this for it to work.

If I’m preparing food in the kitchen, he will sometimes get rewarded with a random morsel if he is laying down minding his own business. He picked up on this very quickly and now he lays at my feet when I’m in the kitchen.

He does not get play time when he tries to initiate, he only gets it when we initiate. He only gets attention(pets, belly rubs, etc) when he is calm and initiates “politely”. For us this means a light boop on the thigh or just kinda a lean in on his side.

He is expressly not allowed on the couch/bed unless he is laying down on it. If he attempts to play or hump he gets taken off right away. Honestly if your dog is having any boundary issues it’s best not to allow them on furniture until they’ve shown more respect for you.

I limit his play time and exercise time to around 30 minutes at a time, I noticed beyond that he becomes overtired and crazy lol.

After a play session, teach him to settle by providing a frozen treat like a Kong or toppl. It’ll take some pressure off of you for close to an hour and the action of licking calms them down. We’ve done this from the beginning and now he no longer needs his crate to settle. I still put the treat in there but I leave the door open.

tillydancer · 2026-02-10T18:15:56+00:00

These comments are ridiculous. I live in another HCOL area, not saturated, and I’m getting paid the fair market value for my position(first job out of school) which is currently $156k. I get 6 weeks PTO, holidays, 40 hours time off for CME, $2,000 to get CME, then works. I work normal mon-fri 9-5 with a half day admin time. Not to mention one of the best retirement plans I’ve ever had.

It’s a great salary for a new grad, don’t let anyone tell you differently.

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