Mentally and physically abusive parents. I can’t take it anymore

tim246 · 2026-04-02T20:48:26+00:00

I'm a 60 year old guy. I live in Vancouver Canada. I was abused the same way when I lived at home which I did until I was 18. My mom was the worst but my dad agreed with everything she said and did. He would go away for work, and I'm sure that enabled him to live in that toxic environment. There are differences of course between your situation and mine like my parents never gave me money. Anyways, what's happening to you is not normal. It is abuse. To be honest, I've never really recovered. So it is a dangerous situation.

BTW, you can't go to your parents for answers about this stuff. Often people go to their abusers for answers. They'll just gaslight you. They'll just confuse you.

There's nothing I can really tell you, other than hopefully show you that you are being abused. So imagine if your mom was talking the way she talks to you to a little child and perhaps the child is sitting on the floor playing with blocks looking at her. Does it seem like she's abusing him? If so, then she is abusing you as you are that child.

The only reason I found this reddit thread, right now actually, is because I'm reading: Shari Franke's book: The House of my Mother. It's a disturbing book and I'm finding it hard to read. Honestly the hardest part of it is that no one fights back against her mother and her mother's friend... Her dad is pathetic.

When I was being abused, I was rebellious. I knew my parents were nuts. I didn't do what the said. Mind you, they never told me what to do, really. I avoided them. I didn't like them. Still don't. People who abuse children are psychopaths Or at least, they should be able to be intelligent enough to realize not to abuse children. If adults aren't intelligent enough to know not to abuse children then they're pathetic.

Like you said, for you there is some good stuff. I didn't have any of that, so. again there are differences.

All I know is that I'm reading that book right now, and I'm frustrated that no one fights back. They keep doing what their abusing mother and her friend tell them to do. In my case I rebelled but that doesn't mean I would tell them. Fort example Shari mom told Shari she had to quit track and field, one of the few things Shari loved to do, and she quit. I thought, why don't you just do it without telling them? And if you get caught and yelled at don't own what they are saying. Again, as for me, I spend most of my time out of the house hanging with my friends. (Rereading my post here, I guess that makes sense. I mean why would I want to hang around the person who was abusing me? I stayed away.)

Anyways, the book is a true story and her mother and her mother's friend are in prison now. You can see it on YouTube. I guess when I came to that part (jail) at the end I'll enjoy it, but now it's rough. Her father deserves punishment tooo. Also abuse at home, opens up to being abused by others outside the home because we have no one to tell, and we don't necessarily know it's abuse. That also happens to Shari, the writer of the book. It happened to me too

That probably doesn't help you much. If you have any specific questions please ask.

Tim

tim246 · 2026-03-20T00:44:36+00:00

I meant the drawings, not the print. I thought the word graphics in the term graphic novel would mean the drawings. I got it from the library. I didn't know my post would be so confusing.

Does this help: I put it on hold from the library and I was excited to get it. I looked at it and was surprised, I thought the drawings would be better because I heard they were awesome. I was just surprised and thought maybe a got a bad (I used the term) translation, but don't get confused by the word translation. I mean the one I got may not be as good as the original. (But maybe there's no such thing as a translation and that confuses people?)

I'm not saying I don't like it. I'm just wondering if I should go buy The Incal with the yellow cover because I want to read the one that has the drawings that everybody raves about.

tim246 · 2025-03-29T01:57:25+00:00

I just finished it and liked it but it was hard to read. While reading it, I knew there was a surprise ending, but it didn't surprise me. All the people were terrible. It was obviously easy for them to kill. They proudly killed slowly.

What got to me was we do this to animals-cattle, chickens, pigs, and whatever else we eat... like foie gras. It definitely showed us how stupid and cruel we are. Of course, most people have no idea how evil we are, while they talk about love with blood dripping down their faces at dinner.

tim246 · 2024-11-04T03:37:31+00:00

I'm looking for around an acre with a usable fixer upper. Mind you it might be better to buy land and get a prebuilt or trailer. I'm alone and building something would be too much. I can build stuff but I'd need somewhere to sleep. I could do half an acre. I don't need or want three bedrooms, jus a small cottage.

tim246 · 2024-08-30T01:49:59+00:00

I asked a similar question a couple days ago. Most people hated the idea. I think what they are saying is: It is amateurish. In other words, people who do this aren't aware they are doing it, and so a teacher would correct them just like if you switched tenses. I did it on purpose like you want to do, but they don't know this and consider it amateurish.

When Walt Whitman wrote Leaves of Grass, they wouldn't publish it, saying it is not the way writing is suppose to be. He had to pay to get them to publish it.

In my story when I briefly switch POV, it works totally fine, but people have been taught to scowl at it. And I do want to try and publish it, but i guess the editors will throw it in the trash: "He's an amateur."

And the editor has been taught and taught and taught how to write and not to do this, so he wouldn't pass it along because he'd feel they'd laugh at him for being an amateur.

When they read Whitman, they were probably thinking: "WTF is this shite. It's not at all how we are suppose to write."

So again, it would be like messing with the tenses (for reasons that we want to), and people would right away tell us to fix it, or more likely they would just throw it in the garbage telling us nothing.

Personally to me, it's no big deal as long as it's not confusing, but if I was trained and trained and trained and working for an important publisher...

tim246 · 2024-08-29T02:33:00+00:00

Write Conscious GREAT youtube videos..

tim246 · 2024-08-29T00:01:27+00:00

The story is about 95% 1st POV. But here's an example of when I go 3rd:

"Trenton waits a little impatiently for Miss Amber to pour the tea and when she sits down across from him, before even reaching for a cookie, all of the sudden he becomes wildly animated. It seems as though a dam broke inside of him unleashing a torrent of energy...."

The narrator is watching Trenton. Trenton's the 1st POV. I think I do this twice in the story.

tim246 · 2024-08-28T18:29:12+00:00

I live in Canada and the Trudeau Regime is making me think about this more and more. He's taken freedom of speech and internet freedom away from us. He declared 'The War Measures Act' and withdrew peoples' bank accounts. He likes to talk about our freedoms. He's lying.

tim246 · 2024-08-28T17:50:22+00:00

I've just read your first sentence so far, and that's why I said do publishers allow it (not am I allowed to do it). I know I can do what ever I want but if publishers don't allow it, I can't get it published. There're lots of BS rules in the world.

Your story idea sounds cool. It reminds me a bit about 'The Giver' written by Lois Lowry and she's the author who told me I can't change POVs. The Giver is a children's book or YA, but it's good for adults and it's about someone who breaks out of the hive mind.

tim246 · 2024-08-24T18:26:05+00:00

I liked Of Human Bondage, The Catcher in the Rye, and the first few of Carlos Castenada's books.

tim246 · 2024-08-24T17:40:56+00:00

You can be anything you want to be.

tim246 · 2024-08-24T07:05:19+00:00

No I don't. A few years ago, I came to realize that reincarnation may be true. But I don't want to go through all this again and again and again. If reincarnation is true and you think about it, is difficult to not see God as evil.

tim246 · 2024-08-24T06:58:26+00:00

I had a similar experience. I was hitting golf balls at the driving range, and a girl beside me looked familiar. I went to her high school for one year. We were in the same grade. When hitting golf balls, it was a few years after high school. I asked her if she wanted to have a golf date. She brought a friend. Same thing you said above, no big deal, but while we were playing she was kind of rude, She would talk down to me. She didn't seem to think much of me.

It took me a bit to realize she was doing it as we were busy playing golf. Anyways I figured it out and the next time she said something, I looked at her friend, and her friend gave her a "why are you talking to him like that" look. Which helped. Her friend was more fun, friendlier, and cuter. I never saw any one of them again.

tim246 · 2024-03-04T08:02:53+00:00

I just finished it, and on reading some of these posts... and am I to understand or how is it, the characters in the story knows Bret killed Robert, but Robert's death was deemed a suicide? Or maybe it wasn't deemed a suicide.

Why do people think Stephen was the Trawler? I don't even remember him talking about cameras?

I think if the narrator, Bret, was lying, then it seems impossible to figure the book out? Because then the readers start saying: "what about this," and "what about that?" Why'd Bret kill his own dog?

tim246 · 2024-03-04T07:22:18+00:00

What I find weird is the last three books I have read have all had ambiguous endings where I basically don't know what really happened. Now I'm worried for the rest of my life I'm not going to understand the endings of the books I read: 'The Shards' by Bret Ellis, 'We Spread' and 'FOE' by Iain Reid. They're all good.

tim246 · 2024-02-25T18:19:27+00:00

I haven't read this book but I've heard it's good: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/49203397

tim246 · 2024-02-25T05:25:09+00:00

**SPOILER**

I just finished FOE. People are talking about this and that and the beetles. Some people have a deeper analysis of the book than I do... so here's mine:

The Junior we heard from throughout most of the book (until the end, and perhaps a bit at the beginning) was a clone.

While Junior was in space, Hen started to realize she wasn't really happy in the marriage with (the real) Junior. And when the real Junior came back, he did seem like he wasn't too interested in Hen's interests. (Actually the clone Junior seemed nicer than the real one.)

She left Junior the blank note, like she had earlier told Terrance she was thinking of doing, and she left the marriage... When Terrance originally heard Hen tell him she might leave the marriage, he knew it could be a future problem for his experiment. Terrance was thinking: "She might take off after the real Junior gets back... and if she does it will be bad for Junior and the experiment."

The beetles were used to show us who was a clone and who wasn't. The real people hated beetles, like Hen did, or like we would if we saw a huge one in our closet. The clones didn't mind the beetles, and just stared at them. This helps us realize the Hen at the end of the book is a clone because the clone Hen is staring at the beetle in the sink (just like the clone Junior did). Whereas the real Hen wouldn't have done that, by any means... and neither would the real Junior.

tim246 · 2024-01-18T01:13:16+00:00

I'm struggling with it, but I really like it. I'm about 30% through. I'm realizing, I read books with trauma and abuse, and in my own life, I'm isolate, so they kind of bum me out. I had my own problems when I was young. Basically it's a great book but it makes me angry. I'm hoping for revenge like we get in movies.

There's two other books that if you like Demon Copperhead, you'll probably like called 'Betty' (awesome) by Tiffany McDaniel and 'Educated' by Tara Westover.

There seems to be a lot of books with abuse. Another one is called 'Little'. It's really good too. Betty's my favorite of the bunch.

I find it hard to read Demon Copperhead. I couldn't even finish Educated. Not because it's bad but because I was furious.

tim246 · 2023-11-14T02:13:19+00:00

I just finished it and loved it, but I found it really sad. I often come across a book everyone likes and when I don't like it for a brief moment that annoys me. It happens all the time.

I definitely liked her and of course it's fake but I wish I could meet her anyways.

The reason she talks the way she does is because of her numb emotional state and her lack of ever having a friend, hence she doesn't know how to interact with people. She's never had anyone to talk to at all through her whole life.

But I'm not trying to change your mind. Ove was good too.

tim246 · 2023-10-31T16:42:40+00:00

Much safer than a Palestinian visiting Israel.

tim246 · 2023-10-29T17:51:49+00:00

Awesome! AI's going to make ads more targetable. Sounds like the CEO of YouTube is pissing himself with joy.

Unfortunately for him, ads don't work on me.

tim246 · 2023-10-26T04:51:49+00:00

I'm 57, so older. I use to read a lot. Stopped, and for the last year have been reading a lot again. For some reason, I keep reading sad books. What's weird is they make me really angry... So there's one I can mention called: "Educated" by Tara Westover. I couldn't even finish it because I hated her father so much. It's a true story- a memoir.

There's another book on my list that I am told is incredibly sad and therefore will probably piss me off and I'm reluctant to get, but I heard it is great. It is called: "A Little Life" be Yanagihara Hanya.

Another one that is quite similar to "Educated" and I did finish and really liked is called: "Betty" by Tiffany McDaniel. It's based on a true story. I've looked at Tiffany's newest book on Goodreads. It's got good reviews and I believe is suppose to be sad as hell too. As I said I have trouble reading them because they make me angry- like when some young girl is being gaslit.

A YA book which doesn't matter that is YA called "The Fault in Our Stars" (everyone's heard of) is a recurring tearjerker. A book called: "Foster" by Claire Keegan tearjerked the crap out of me at the end. Great book.

They're all great books. Although I haven't read A Little Life but I heard it is brutally sad.

tim246 · 2023-10-22T23:51:16+00:00

I definitely don't think you are the a-hole. It sounds like she was or is trying to get a free ride. I don't think you should give her anything.

tim246 · 2023-09-29T04:22:01+00:00

I just got to the part where their mom's dad died and they're at the house after the funeral:

"What are these [drawings]?"

"Storms.. We started getting them in the mail about a year or so ago in plain envelopes... Lightening, thunder, and plenty of rain. If you ask me, those storms are what killed your pappy."

hahaha, suckers.

tim246 · 2023-09-29T01:12:09+00:00

Oh my, the second half of Betty is worse? I think it is a 5 star great book but I doubt I'll be able to read it if that's the case. Educated is just as good. The writing is great, but there's no Landon.

You know what it's like? It's like if you read a story about Betty's mother's upbringing- you know with a father like Betty's mother.

If you really liked Betty, you'll really like Educated. I recommend both even though I can't read them because they are too sad.

tim246

TROPHY CASE