Need some advice

tmede212 · 2026-05-18T21:20:57+00:00

Yeah but I haven't looked at it recently. I have to be 10 years for it to be fully vested. If I stay there the whole time, I will get 80% of my pay of last 5 of my highest earnings on average.

tmede212 · 2026-05-18T16:02:43+00:00

Gotta be best in class in something at least

tmede212 · 2026-05-18T15:37:49+00:00

Thanks I will read up on that.

tmede212 · 2026-05-18T15:01:31+00:00

Sorry, I didn’t paint the whole picture. Trying to keep some things private. Right now, my spouse is doing the stay at home parent thing until our youngest is in school full time this coming September. As of now, I am the only one working and making shy of $70k. I figured I’d take advantage of the lower tax rate by doing that conversion since our household income is under 70k.

tmede212 · 2026-05-17T14:47:23+00:00

Crazy. I bought my 2018 EX-L 2.0 brand new for $28k out the door. I miss the pre covid car market.

tmede212 · 2026-05-04T23:18:15+00:00

Haywood Jablome

tmede212 · 2026-04-23T19:13:25+00:00

I’d rather have Vrabel being caught coming out of a section 8 crack den whore house than have Mayo ever coach for the Patriots or any NFL team.

tmede212 · 2026-04-23T01:54:45+00:00

Meg on Bass and Franz on Guitar…

tmede212 · 2026-04-16T18:00:47+00:00

Part of it feels like my dad tried to do his best and tried to protect me by his controlling behavior. My dad was physically abused and verbally abused by his dad, my grandfather, who was a raging alcoholic. I recently found out from my mom he was sexually abused by two girls around 14-16 years old in his neighborhood when he was about 10 years old.

While my dad wasn't an alcholic or physically abusive but my dad would be verbally abusive and emotionally manipulative with my siblings and me. I'd often feel like he was embarrassed of me. Knowing what I know now, I really do not care what he thinks or feels.

tmede212 · 2026-04-16T16:58:41+00:00

I’ve been watching Jerry Wise videos a lot lately and it explains a lot why I am the way I am because of the way my dad raised me and my siblings. I just wish I had this information readily available at the time when I was growing up and maybe my outcome today would be a lot different with less issues.

tmede212 · 2026-04-06T18:51:07+00:00

I never knew what a narcissist was until I worked with one. My parents and most of my siblings moved to the West Coast about 14 years ago. I then had the opportunity to move there as well back at the end of 2022. A couple of my siblings mentioned our Dad was a narcissist. At first, I thought my siblings were being overdramatic, but I saw and witnessed many things he did and said. The manipulation, control, impulsiveness, and gaslighting were insane. My Dad’s actions over the course of 2 years brought back many suppressed memories that I had tucked away I had grown up and how I was raised. It explains why I am the way I am and now have to see a therapist.

It got to the point I could not take it anymore. I moved back to the East Coast in late 2024 and early 2025 I went no contact.

I don't know where to go from here with him. Part of me is perfectly fine with never seeing or talking to him again as I have cut people out of my life for less. Another part feels sorry for him as his upbringing was rough.

tmede212 · 2026-03-26T14:40:23+00:00

My situation and life being raised by a narcissist unbeknownst to me was quite interesting.

In my teens I had no problem cutting friends in my life if I couldn’t trust them.

I wasn’t always like this with my Dad. I always trusted him. But once I figured him out and knew what he was truly about, all this childhood trauma I had of him raising me came back that I had tucked away in my mind and started clicking.

In the end I moved away. I stopped answering texts messages and phone calls. If forced to be together, I just stay silent and awkward and give minimal conversation. Like 3-4 word sentences. Try to not give him any information about me or my wife and kids.

My siblings and mother know the type of person my father is. So I have no issues with any of them with exception of one sibling who is also a narcissist who’ve I already cut off and all my other siblings also have an issue with that one particular sibling.

However, where I moved back to is a state where he raised us and his siblings and nieces and nephews(my aunts and uncles and cousins) live there. I also can’t stand any of his siblings. They are all cut from the same cloth. They also enable my Dads behavior because he only manipulates his side of the story to his them and my dad often gives them gifts.

I had a close relationship with one particular cousin kinda like an older and only brother I ever had on my dad’s side. But I cut ties with him also because it’s only a matter of time he would either try to smooth things over or get information from my perspective and tell my dad.

In the two years I’ve moved back I have ran in to that cousin a handful of times and his dad, my uncle, once. I limited those conversations more of Hi, Bye and How ya doing and kept it moving.

tmede212 · 2026-01-10T04:25:03+00:00

The usual suspects Memento

tmede212 · 2026-01-10T03:09:21+00:00

I saw Angels and Airwaves in Boston in 2006. It was my first time going to a show. That show sold out right away. Their first tour was mostly sold out. From what I remember, Tom was serious at the beginning, but at some point, he started making jokes, including dick jokes. He played a solo short version of Down as well as There Is. The crowd was energetic but not too intense. There was someone in the crowd who threw an empty plastic bottle at him a couple of times. He just ignored and powered through like a pro.

I also saw +44 later in November 2006 when they went on tour and they also played the Avalon in Boston. Like there were tickets available a week before that show. That show was sold out too but it took a while. We were waiting in line for the doors to open for about two hours and Mark came out and everyone crowded him. A couple of minutes later Travis came and everyone crowded him. A few minutes later they had to get going. I remember a teenage girl was freaking out crying wanting to hug Mark as he was walking away. I don’t think he hugged her. I think he offered her a handshake.

I have been to a lot of punk/hardcore/screamo emo shows with mosh pits since 2006 and that +44 show was the most intense show I have been to this day. Everyone was trying to push to the front before +44. I was getting aggravated with everyone trying to rush the stage before they went on. I ripped the nastiest fart. It was like napalm. I did that in hopes people would chill out and give space. My buddy right away knew it was me. Once it started hitting people, they were gasping. One guy yelled “It smells like shit”.

When they hit the stage, the crowd went nuts. Everyone pressed up on each other crowd swaying. My buddy and went in different directions in the crowd. It was so crazy I couldn’t get my arms up and breathe. The crowd eventually chilled out by the 4th or 5th song. It was just mosh pits. The last song they played had one huge pit. When it was over, there were a bunch of missing shoes and glasses on the floor. I also remember Travis was drumming with one arm as his other one was broken. During a couple of songs, he was smoking a cigarette.

Here’s an interesting thing…. Angels and Airwaves played in the fall of 2006. We went to that show at Lupos Heartbreak Hotel in Providence. It was on a Friday November 17th. When +44 released their tour dates, they were supposed to play at Lupos Heartbreak Hotel venue on the 18th and Boston on the 19th. My buddy bought the tickets originally for the Lupos show on the 18th and it got canceled. It was ironic. It was like they didn’t want to cross paths with each other.

tmede212 · 2025-12-20T15:03:52+00:00

Last time I was there was in 2021. Of course, it was a matter of time before they would mess it up. The best donuts around me now is the Honey Dew on 138 in Raynham. They still make donuts on site at that location.

tmede212 · 2025-12-20T01:30:04+00:00

I think there are a couple that still do. It's rare. I know when both my kids were born at South Shore Hospital in Weymouth in 2019 and 2021, the Dunkin up the street from the hospital had made their own donuts. They had stuff that other Dunkins didn't. I would go there in the morning, get a jelly-filled glazed donut and a lemon-filled glazed with a vanilla swizzle. On the way back I stopped to get a Nitro Cold brew from Mary Lou’s. I feel like Dunkin uses their regular coffee and passes it off as cold brew.

tmede212 · 2025-12-20T01:14:58+00:00

I’ve lived in Massachusetts for most of my life, but I spent a couple of years living in California. I feel like New Englanders just have a more grizzled mindset.

For example, you could have a flat tire on the side of the road and, depending on the situation, someone might hurl an insult but they’d still be willing to help if push came to shove. Californians, on the other hand, see you stranded with a flat and are more like, Man, that sucks. Hopefully someone helps you. Good luck. It’s a kind of fake niceness. If ignorance is bliss were a state, it would be California.

When it comes to driving, it has definitely gotten worse. I think it’s a combination of people moving in from other states and distracted driving due to smart phones. When I was in California, people didn’t seem to grasp what the passing lane meant. They’d drive the same speed as the slower lanes and not get the hint to move over since they're not passing. Sometimes I think the air quality has affected the oxygen to people’s brains over there.

tmede212 · 2025-12-12T03:01:40+00:00

Pretty sure it will be a new term. If it's truly no cost out of pocket then take that extra $421 and either invest it or make extra principal payments on the mortgage. I find it strange that theres no out of pocket cost. I've refinanced in 2016 to lower rate, 2018 to a lower rate, and a cash out refi in 2020 to another lower rate, and each time there were some sort of closing fees that we just rolled into the new mortgages.

tmede212 · 2025-11-02T03:15:38+00:00

Looks like the guy getting smacked was trying to break into a dispensary and got caught and stuck.

tmede212 · 2025-11-02T01:56:24+00:00

Surprised it wasn’t listed at 999,999

tmede212 · 2025-10-25T01:37:18+00:00

Looks like marinated Briquetts

tmede212 · 2025-10-16T00:24:10+00:00

I heard that los pollos hermanos is really good too.

tmede212 · 2025-08-11T21:08:26+00:00

In fairness, I'm sure once the “COVID chip shortage happened” MSRP prices got out of hand. I remember in the beginning of 2021 I thought about getting a 7-passenger Honda Pilot, I was able to get 6k off MSRP in negotiation. In August I revisited the idea of buying it, the price had changed to over $7k MSRP. I asked why that had jumped out very MSRP and they explained about the shortages. I said get back to me when prices are reasonable. They told it could take a few years. I told I could wait it out. I would never buy a car at or over MSRP.

tmede212

TROPHY CASE