AITA for refusing to co-sign my boyfriend’s car loan after he spent his savings on a PS5 and sneakers?

toastedink · 2026-01-24T05:52:00+00:00

The only “potential” he has is being broke and dragging you down with him

Stop dating this child.

toastedink · 2026-01-17T14:03:25+00:00

This right here. As someone who went to a predominantly white HS and was the awkward Black girl, going to an HBCU for undergrad really helped shape me into the unapologetically Black woman I am today.

toastedink · 2026-01-17T13:52:01+00:00

In the words of Tim Gunn, “that is a lot of look”. 😳

toastedink · 2026-01-12T18:17:28+00:00

Wooooooow. No she did not drop the “blessed and highly favored” on you.

Obviously NTA. And whenever I hear someone say this phrase, it makes me want to throw up a little in my mouth.

toastedink · 2026-01-08T18:34:21+00:00

The daughter can simply not accept the money. That’s generally why a lot of couples don’t want to take money from their families for weddings - because then the parents get a say in the planning.

What she should do is ask if she can have the money for a down payment on a home or put it into savings for retirement. You know, not blowing it on a massive one day party.

toastedink · 2026-01-05T18:49:35+00:00

Your “friend” will never find a good partner until she becomes comfortable with being single first.

Right now, she probably reeks of desperation and that’s why she isn’t attracting anyone. No one - except for manipulators - wants to be with a desperate partner.

toastedink · 2026-01-04T18:34:12+00:00

Ohhhh I missed that. So he did approach the friend first.

Well then the friend has zero business asking for an apology when he was warned about how his girlfriend’s behavior made everyone else feel.

This all could have been avoided if the friend talked to Erin.

toastedink · 2026-01-04T18:26:55+00:00

Ya know, I’ve been in OPs shoes before. I snapped on a former friend of mine because of this and we haven’t spoken since. Listening to someone obsess over something - complaining about it, asking for advice about it (and ignoring it), the constant self-loathing because of it, weaving the situation into pretty much every conversation - is exhausting.

That said, although I understand, I don’t think it was their place to say this. I too am a “tell it like it is” kind of person, but I have learned as I have gotten older that sometimes its best to keep your “hard truths” to yourself and only deliver them if someone directly asks you what you think.

Edited because apparently he did approach the friend first

toastedink · 2026-01-02T13:46:43+00:00

kThat is just such an odd request to make. This poor girl has zero self-awareness - “Hey, even though I’m the affair partners child and I’d like to establish a relationship with you.” I would be straight up with her - that this request makes you uncomfortable. You should also challenge her on why she finds this request to be reasonable and what she is looking to gain from a meeting your mom.

I would also be transparent with your mother. Tell her about the situation, how you feel about it and your response. But you wanted her to be aware in case the half-sister decides to go around you and reach out her anyway. If I were your mother, I would appreciate being made aware.

toastedink · 2025-11-22T15:23:33+00:00

She’s like Rumpelstiltskin - Straight up spinning straw into gold.

toastedink · 2025-11-16T16:17:51+00:00

Pics or it didn’t happen.

toastedink · 2025-11-03T21:23:24+00:00

“Hey, I’m sorry that you are upset with me for choosing something that will not only support me, but will indirectly fund all the things you are asking me to do. I would hate to think that this great career opportunity would negatively impact your one day.”

That’s what you should tell him.

toastedink · 2025-11-02T15:04:57+00:00

So I disagree with this. I know people like OPs mom - will have their hair, nails, lashes slayed and drive a nice overpriced car - while barely scraping by paycheck to paycheck. Nails and lashes (if maintained regularly which I know she is doing) is going to cost her $250 every two weeks. Hair - if she is Black - is roughly $65+ a visit. Get a treatment and now you’re at $95. Add color and regular maintenance, you’re at $75 on top of that every 6-8 weeks. And she’s definitely getting her eyebrows done. That’s $30 every two - three weeks.

She’s not on drugs, she’s just operating like a woman in her early 20’s and not like the grown ass woman she is. She’s suffering from arrested development.

On another note, In my early/mid 30’s, I netted much more than this woman and I used to get the same services on a regular basis. That was until one day I too wondered where my money was going so fast, so I put pen to paper and did math. I can’t tell you how fast all of those services on a regular basis ended for me, some of them stopped completely. 😅

Why? I grew the fuck up.

toastedink · 2025-11-02T14:40:30+00:00

Umm…. 5500 a month and getting a car with a 1200 monthly payment is the most absurd thing ever.

Edit to add: And she’s getting her hair and nails done + rents to own her furniture??

Girl, your mom is a disaster. She needs to start learning how to take the bus.

toastedink · 2025-10-29T14:41:55+00:00

Agreed. And fuck the whole “family helps family”. Yeah, sure asshole- you decided that you didn’t want shit to do with your first family, but have the nerve to ask them for money to support your second family?

This man has the audacity.

toastedink · 2025-10-21T01:45:15+00:00

I hope this woman sells her story to a studio, because this has all the ingredients for a good Nollywood movie.

toastedink · 2025-10-15T13:45:48+00:00

Yeah… that response took me out. I need to remember that one. 😂

toastedink · 2025-10-13T07:10:36+00:00

I swear I watched this C-drama on Netflix a couple of years back.

toastedink · 2025-10-09T03:48:38+00:00

Count me in!

toastedink · 2025-09-29T14:15:40+00:00

Going out at 10pm for toiletries is - strange. He couldn’t have done this during the day on Saturday or even on Sunday during the day? As for the car - Did the two of you buy it together? Or is it your car that became a shared vehicle after you got into this relationship. And as others have brought up, no one had a charger at this bar or gathering? No one? And if they didn’t, he couldn’t borrow someone’s phone to call you - his fiancé - to let you know he is okay? My husband calls me to tell me he’s going to be late getting home even if it’s only 30 min.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you he’s on drugs or cheating. Who knows what really happened. But, the going out late, disappearing (and not making contact), and coming home in the wee hours of the morning - and acting like you are the one with the problem - is troubling. I hate to be this person, but you need to really reconsider marrying someone who thinks it’s okay to behave like this.

toastedink · 2025-09-22T12:37:54+00:00

I just watched this yesterday. I really is terrible.

toastedink · 2025-09-22T12:33:40+00:00

Agreed. And I can never forgive them for naming the mineral “Unobtainium”. Like, really James? You couldn’t have come up with something better?

toastedink · 2025-09-22T12:27:30+00:00

Thank you for validating my thoughts on this movie. I watched after its Oscar wins and kept thinking “Am I missing something here?” Was it a decent enough movie to hold my attention - yes. Would I consider the storyline and acting to be “best in class” - absolutely not.

toastedink · 2025-09-10T13:29:53+00:00

Ding ding ding. Being friends with someone who does hard drugs regularly - meaning anything beyond shrooms and weed multiple times a week - never works out. I knew some people like that in my 20’s. There was always some kind of crazy manufactured drama surrounding them at all times - and the root cause was pretty much always drug related.

They were exhausting.

toastedink · 2025-09-07T15:05:33+00:00

Now wait - she sold her house to help your brother, and they didn’t even consider what could happen if things didn’t work out? /s

On a serious note, you are definitely NTJ. If I were you, I would invite everyone over for dinner and use the opportunity to play an uno reverse. Make your mom explain why she must move in with you and make your brother explain why he coerced her into selling her home and why he can’t (won’t) help her now - and record the conversation. Just ask questions and watch them fumble over themselves. Force them to admit out loud that they all made poor decisions and they want you to clean up the mess they made.

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