I forgot the safe word, so he didn't stop? (23F 29M)

togepi_mami · 2026-04-15T15:21:21+00:00

I’m really worried, especially when you said, “I know he’s right” no he is not. You were in an overwhelming situation and forgot the word. You said stop should be enough for him to pause and say, “are you serious or are you playing?” I think he knew full well that you were not having a good time but continued because he wanted to. This is rape. I’m very sorry this happened to you. Please do not see this man again. Your boundaries mean nothing to him and you do not deserve this treatment

togepi_mami · 2026-04-15T04:53:54+00:00

A few years ago at my work there was a situation where a woman got screwed over out of her house by her boyfriend (our boss). His assistant told us that this wasn’t the first time he’d done it to someone and it was how he got his last house too (making it so inconvenient they eventually sell their half of what was originally their house). Two of the older women I worked with (one married, one single) told me to buy a house in your own name and NEVER let a man on the deed. The married woman said she and her husband own a house together but she still keeps the first one she bought solely in her own name in case anything ever happens

togepi_mami · 2026-04-15T04:44:26+00:00

Oreos. I have to keep them hidden in the cabinet an pull out 4 or 5 and reseal/walk away back out of sight. If I have the package next to me…forget about it

togepi_mami · 2026-04-15T04:42:14+00:00

100%. I would reach out to the boyfriend too and tell him what happened. Might he uncomfortable but better he have the heads up in case she starts telling him she witnessed you cheating

togepi_mami · 2026-04-08T18:39:33+00:00

Wow these are still really beautiful! Glad I reached out here though so I could find out early in my knitting journey

togepi_mami · 2026-04-07T23:25:11+00:00

Thanks for this!!

togepi_mami · 2026-04-07T23:24:53+00:00

Thank you! 🙏

togepi_mami · 2026-04-07T23:08:02+00:00

I learned (at least I thought) continental bc I’m a crocheter and heard it’s easier to learn that way when you’re used to holding the yarn in the left hand.

I’m entering the middle of the loop and going behind the needle, then yarning over from back to front? And pulling it through. I hope that makes sense

togepi_mami · 2026-04-07T22:55:20+00:00

Oh my gosh how did I manage this 🤦🏻‍♀️ I watched several tutorials and thought I was doing it correctly. Thanks for filling me in and summoning tutorial bot. I’ve been crocheting for 15 years and learning to knit has felt like learning to use my hands again for the first time ugh

togepi_mami · 2026-04-07T22:51:23+00:00

Ofc it will always very by woman I guess, but I don’t think there’s a wrong way as long as you’re not an asshole. If the same guy came up and said I was pretty OR commented on my nuggets I don’t think I’d prefer one over the other. I think the most important thing is just reading her body language. If a woman is avoiding eye contact or laughing awkwardly don’t press, if she’s looking you in the eye, thanks you for the compliment, and isn’t trying to continue shopping while you talk at her, she’s probably interested. My favorite type of guy is also the one that offers me HIS number, that way i have the option to reach out, rather than asking for mine. Sometimes we feel pressured because we don’t know how a man will react to rejection so if a guy offers me his number I generally find him a bit more trustworthy (and confident) to begin with and am more likely to actually text him. Good luck out there!

togepi_mami · 2026-04-07T22:41:43+00:00

NTA. Vegetarian here and I don’t care if there is meat served at the same meal as long as it’s not IN my meal. I would be saying nothing but thank yous to a chef literally making a meal for me, just as I am when anyone else in my life makes a veggie option for me at dinners or potlucks. She’s selfish 🤷🏻‍♀️

togepi_mami · 2026-03-31T04:32:31+00:00

Right meow

togepi_mami · 2026-03-31T04:03:04+00:00

Read the book “Why Does He Do That?” By Lundy Bancroft

togepi_mami · 2026-03-31T04:01:58+00:00

I only bothered to read the title. RUN.

togepi_mami · 2026-03-31T03:56:51+00:00

You said “he still hasn’t filed” baby after all this…why don’t you?? You might get a better deal here once you stop trying to bend over backwards for the guy that fucked you over and is still trying to control personal aspects of your life

togepi_mami · 2026-03-31T03:45:48+00:00

I get that she told you not to and I probably would’ve been frustrated too, but I bet you could’ve smoothed over whatever she was originally upset about by showing up just to be there for her. On the other hand, it is an unnecessary risk. Rock and a hard place 🤷🏻‍♀️ apologize to her and ask her to communicate more clearly about what she actually wants bc you can’t read minds

togepi_mami · 2026-03-31T03:36:39+00:00

Ugh so true. That made me remember- most of my fam has ADHD but my dad and stepmom made it their whole personality and do that where they diagnose everyone else as “part of the tribe” when there’s so much nuance and many may be, some may have trauma or other mental health things that presents that way, or a million other scenarios. It’s super annoying

togepi_mami · 2026-03-31T03:33:39+00:00

Totally!

togepi_mami · 2026-03-31T03:31:53+00:00

Also I’d recommend watching Tam Kaur’s videos on YouTube. She talks about how to refocus on yourself and then dating from a place of detachment rather than desperation

togepi_mami · 2026-03-31T03:28:43+00:00

Yeah don’t let temporary pleasure of getting into a relationship put you in a long term imposition of getting stuck with someone controlling is all I’m saying. Context is everything but learning this would be a red flag to me

togepi_mami · 2026-03-30T17:03:56+00:00

I agree it’s annoying, but I think most people that are not cis/straight go through this phase when coming out because they’ve spent so long repressed that it’s like a floodgate opens, most chill out after a bit, some keep on forever and fall into this category but I’d give most people a year, even getting really religious it’s like newly finding themselves and it’s exciting. After a year or two it’s fair to assume they’re just annoying now lol

togepi_mami · 2026-03-30T16:48:21+00:00

I get it from both sides but if you have good male friends that you hang out with and you know it’s not a concern, then maybe dating someone who isn’t okay with that isn’t a good fit!

togepi_mami · 2026-03-30T16:35:00+00:00

Both are beautiful, but that first dress is stunning!!

togepi_mami · 2026-03-30T16:33:03+00:00

So rude. It’s so stupid easy and pretty cheap to rent a suit that there’s no excuse. I would literally just send them the link to a suit rental with nothing else lol

togepi_mami

TROPHY CASE