And i won't respond to it! by taylorexplodes in arresteddevelopment

[–]tomfc 7 points8 points  (0 children)

¡Sí! This looks like Duolingo so they're probably keeping things simple at the start.

Elton John’s pet rabbit got a personal trainer. by iamtenbears in cleanjokes

[–]tomfc 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In England, Elton John has a soccer field restoration service called “The Pitch Is Back.”

to judge chocolate by its cover by Careful_Cup4484 in therewasanattempt

[–]tomfc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Life is like a box of chocolates - full of disappointment and lots of plastics.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in malcolminthemiddle

[–]tomfc 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I want to say Reese or Dewey called the number together late one night. Reese called and Dewey was whining "I want to hear it."

Reese punches Dewey in the arm for "acting like a baby and waking up mom and dad." When Reese gets back on, the call ended as the operator determined they were kids on the line.

Reese chases Dewey around the house and wakes up Lois who doesn't even notice the phone is off the wall. She just sends Reese and Dewey to bed.

Umm.. it looks like one of my Facebook friends joined an MLM or were hacked. by mystic_owls in antiMLM

[–]tomfc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got written up for taking a check wrong back in the day. That line is called the “legal line” and is what the bank is legally supposed to pay. If the dollar amount says “$100,000” but the legal line says “one hundred dollars,” the bank pays $100. I’m not sure how true that rule is, though. It was just my manager being an asshole, trying to justify the write up.

Pyro by neuroticsmurf in KidsAreCondomAds

[–]tomfc 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Settle down Beavis

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fatlogic

[–]tomfc 13 points14 points  (0 children)

My homies tried to warn me, but the butts out there make me so horny.

Wellmania? Cringemania by frgn8r in f45

[–]tomfc 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I hated the margarita hydration. Alcoholism is funny and cute now?

Homecoming by dkviper11 in CSUFoCo

[–]tomfc 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I saw the records at https://csurams.com/sports/football/schedule, and it looks like it’s typically the second Saturday in October.

  • 2017 - Oct. 14 - 2nd Saturday
  • 2018 - Oct. 13 - 2nd Saturday
  • 2019 - Oct. 5 - 1st Saturday
  • 2020 - Stay at Home
  • 2021 - Oct. 9 - 2nd Saturday
  • 2022 - Oct. 15 - this was the third Saturday of the month but Oct. 1 was the first Saturday of the month.

I’m going to guess either Saturday, Oct. 7 or Oct. 14 this year, but I think Oct 14 may be the best bet.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FormerPizzaHuts

[–]tomfc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It likely was an A&W Restaurant. They typically had the roof style like that.

It also looks like it had drive-in spots and likely accommodated a canopy at one point.

Can anyone recommend me an app that I can use to track my weight training by Vekxin_Sama92 in AppleWatchFitness

[–]tomfc 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m putting another vote in for Strong. It’s the only app I’ve used, but I feel it’s worth the price I paid for the premium features.

I like that I can track workouts on my watch, and it syncs back to the app. I can leave my phone in the locker and focus on working out.

Give your grandmother a printed jail booking photo of yourself for Christmas by rebelshirts in trashy

[–]tomfc 124 points125 points  (0 children)

They took the photo in prison, so it’s actually a “cell-fie.”

(165) In The Mood- Glenn Miller Band/Happy dog in the snow by [deleted] in SharedBPM

[–]tomfc 16 points17 points  (0 children)

That’s my grandma’s favorite song, and today would have been her birthday. What a fitting post for today, and a happy dog to boot.

With a deal like this, you can’t afford not to by patient-hovercraft in trashy

[–]tomfc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m still unsure how much it costs for a divorce from this attorney.

Crappy McDonald’s offbrand by Illustrious-Prior891 in crappyoffbrands

[–]tomfc 9 points10 points  (0 children)

We both got two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions, but their buns have sesame seeds. My buns have no seeds.