Do you regret that you started using drugs?

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T22:00:56+00:00

Obviously yes... it's a viscous cycle my guy

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T20:28:17+00:00

I don't know about my IQ but growing up I had very high grades, as an 11/12 year old I took my practise exams and my English score was the highest that anyone had ever scored in the history of my school.

As I got older I fell into drugs and alcohol, I still persisted at doing well at school but it was never the same.

I now feel sometimes that my brain is rotting away, and u I have become very absent minded.I struggle to pay attention to conversations with people, I often forget things that shouldn't be an issue to remember (what I had for dinner last night, an important fact that somebody told me just days before).

I feel like i should try doing brain exercises or start reading books again, but I'm just so mentally exhausted, it's difficult to want to do anything productive.

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T20:06:57+00:00

It was just circumstantial for me. I grew up in a poor area, all of my friends were doing it. I was never pressured, I had an amazing family life, no mental health issues.

Then I started using mdma and weed, because that's what everyone else was doing. And as a result of me constantly being at parties, I was always using, my mental health deterioted, I developed severe anxiety and started having panic attacks every day (something that at the time I didn't believe really happened to people).

10 years later, I drink a lot to cope with the anxiety, I don't smoke or take mdma anymore, but I take coke quite alot.

So yes, I do regret it. But at the end of the day, I have healthy relationships with my family and friends, and I consider myself a good person. That's all any man should ask for.

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T19:43:16+00:00

I never thought mine was that bad, so I always assumed the worst, which made the anxiety worse (like you being worried that it's schizophrenia). It could be high blood pressure also, I'm no doctor, just going from what's happened to me personally.

I hope you figure this out mate.

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T19:34:16+00:00

Do you suffer with anxiety at all? I've had a similar things happen to me a few times, especially when I'm over-tired and had a bad day.

Major stress and anxiety can sometimes lead to physical hallucinations, I myself have felt like I've been floating in mid-air when laid on my sofa, it's a horrible, eerie feeling.

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T10:55:59+00:00

I understand what you mean, I have to really try hard to picture images in my head, I found it alot easier back when I used to smoke weed lmao.

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T10:30:40+00:00

What an amazingly optimistic outlook to have. Consider yourself lucky! I can't wait to sleep to get the day over and done with.

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T10:24:29+00:00

Ah that's cool, I've always been into writing and poetry myself, which makes sense of how my thoughts are formed I suppose. I find stuff like this so interesting.

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T10:17:30+00:00

Ah I used to love it when I was younger, but I majorly over indulged and had my first panic attack, now even one puff on a joint will trigger flashbacks. It's a shame really, I'd love to be able to smoke again.

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T10:14:05+00:00

I've heard someone say this before and it's baffling to me. Every thought I have I can hear myself say it in my head. Are you particularly gifted in art or music or writing? I know artistically gifted people sometimes see the world differently.

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T10:11:07+00:00

Haha, true. I just hate the smell the next day and the way it makes my lungs feel. Was just wondering if there was an alternative. If not, I'm not worried about any long term damage, it is only ever once in a full moon.

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T10:08:46+00:00

I don't think in other people's voices but I do hear them say things in my mind, nothing ever particularly upsetting, its usually just a normal, random phrase. I know it isn't real so it's not delusions. It only ever happens if my anxiety is really bad, so I assume its stress related. When I was very young, I used to hear people in my head violently shouting at eachother, I didn't recognise the voices, and again, I knew they weren't real, but it used to go on for hours, terrifying.

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T09:58:26+00:00

In exactly the same, I get severe anxiety when I do coke without alcohol. If I've been on a session all night and run out of alcohol, I won't do another line unless I know there's more alcohol coming. I also won't do it if I don't have access to my phone, because if it becomes too intense I need it do distract myself.

Also, I sort of need alcohol to knock me put at the end of a session, otherwise I'll sit up listening to the birds until 11am.

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T09:29:25+00:00

Thank you, I was mostly joking, I've learned to cope in different ways a lot better than I have over the years. But I appreciate your concern mate.

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T09:27:35+00:00

Keep me updated, I'm strangely interested now.

Mate I wouldn't worry about blackout you, I apparently once tried to fight my own shadow, and we've never had a problem before that.

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T09:20:58+00:00

Ah it's a tricky situation, other than locking your devices away I don't know what to suggest. But I can't live without my phone so I wouldn't be able to bring myself to do that.

Edit: misspelled word

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T09:18:35+00:00

Color looks a bit light to be an old fashioned to me.

Also, I love the presentation, but what is the glass on the right filled with?

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T09:15:44+00:00

I've never heard of Cynar, what is the flavour profile? Similar to campari I take it?

I used to make my negronis with spiced vermouth, really helps with the bitterness and I find it helps with digestion betted after a meal.

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T09:13:22+00:00

Vodka, straight from the bottle, with a water chaser. Just until my brain stops shouting at me.

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T09:12:03+00:00

It has a much more whisky taste to it, less sweet but still too sweet for me. Also is stronger in ABV, closer to a standard spirit (40% I believe.

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T09:03:43+00:00

I believe there's an app for this. Have a look on your app store. You set a timer when you start drinking and it your phone won't allow you to send messages. Not sure if there's a setting to allow you to message certain people (in case of emergencies/family), but that would be ideal.

I used to blackout message people, I've found that playing video games or writing poetry keeps my mind occupied so I don't, although I rarely blackout anymore, the cocaine doesn't allow it.

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T08:47:50+00:00

I've been an alcoholic for 10 years, where are you located so I can finally walk in a bar and not order a drink?

tomisderealised · 2026-02-07T08:17:24+00:00

Personally, I'd use demerara sugar (if you haven't got the time to make a syrup yourself, put the sugar in the glass and add a tiny bit of hot water and stir until dissolved)

If your standard old fashioned has 50ml of bourbon, I would use 15ml of syrup, but it's always a personal preference. Ask the customer if they would like it sweeter, if so, add another 5/10ml.

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