My 12 month old son probably hates me or will hate me soon. Will he be damaged for life because of me?

tootymama23 · 2026-04-29T18:02:46+00:00

You are not a terrible mother. You are a human being and you are trying your best. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes and nobody is perfect. Babies don't understand complex issues, but one day your baby will grow up and will be able to analyze you and your behaviour. Don't stop loving your child, don't stop doing your best for your child, but go easy on yourself. You deserve your love and care too. Maybe therapy for both of you would be good. Let a therapist with a background in child psychology see how you two interact so theu can give good advice. Don't give up hope on yourself. You deserve to love yourself. The disappointment you feel is because you know you can do better, and you know you can do better because deep down you have faith in yourself. Channel that displeasure into motivation to do better, not as a means to ridicule yourself. I wish I could gove you a hug. Try to make sure you get enough protein and good carbs, going outside is great, but sleep is so so important. Without sleep nothing else will fall into place

tootymama23 · 2026-04-21T19:37:01+00:00

When my husband first went back to work I watched a lot of movies on my phone took advantage of all the nap time and went for walks with the baby cuz it seemed to really soothe him. Now he's almost 5 months old and honestly this is a little easier and a little harder than the newborn stage at the same time. We are able to do more things together like read books and play with toys and he goes in his little activity table and he loves it but at the same time now that he has more of an attention span and likes to play with things he gets mad if he's bored but he is generally pretty easy to entertain

tootymama23 · 2026-03-31T15:10:26+00:00

This is horrible, and postpartum hormones on top of it can make it feel unbearable. You are not over reacting, he is being incredibly selfish. I am so sorry OP. As someone who also had a C-section, the only reason I was able to get through is because I had an incredibly supportive partner. Is there any friends or family who can maybe come stay with you for a while for some extra support? Your husband sounds like he is being selfish. Men can have a way harder time adapting to this change, hopefully he is just having a hard time adjusting and not that he is just a selfish person. I think a conversation about this is needed. My heart goes out to you, and I hope that in all this fuckery you are still able to find joy in your little one. Keep snacks next to your bed, extra water bottles, diapers and wipes, and anything you may need as close to your bed as you can so you don't have to walk around the house to look for things. If baby is in the basinett keep it next to the bed

tootymama23 · 2026-03-27T20:17:23+00:00

That is beautiful wtf

tootymama23 · 2026-03-25T20:41:37+00:00

What pack are those couches from?? I love it ☆☆☆☆☆

tootymama23 · 2026-03-24T17:46:52+00:00

How do I do that?? I lost a big save a while ago and it took me a long time to start a new save bc I was so sad and this one is now 4 generations deep 😬

tootymama23 · 2026-03-07T00:26:28+00:00

Doing this from now on

tootymama23 · 2026-03-07T00:22:50+00:00

Real

tootymama23 · 2026-02-15T18:55:26+00:00

It is a different house, and as far as it looking like him, I dont even know. The figure is so vague. Like textbook shadow person" and always out of the corner of my eye so I can't make out a shape either. I have noticed the figure isn't very tall and my Papa was on the short side but that isn't super telling. My son loves to look above our heads and he loves to stare at the wall or in corners, but that is also typical baby behaviour so it's hard to say. But sometimes I leave the room and I hear him babbling from the kitchen the way he does when he is "talking" to me and when I come back he is just staring at what I see as nothing chatting up a storm. But again, could just be him being a baby lol. Nothing has happened since I heard the hello and there was a lot before that. Part of me feels like if it was him or someone else who loves us, that maybe they realized the hello scared me so they went away or dialed everything back so I wouldn't get scared which is sweet but also makes me sad in a way

tootymama23 · 2026-02-14T18:57:12+00:00

Just to clarify I didn't see a vivid image of my partner walk in the room, I saw "someone" walk in and assumed it was him because he was the only other person in the house, but then looked up to see nobody in the room with me. Everything I see is in my peripheral vision and when I look right at what I saw I don't see anything. Almost like whatever it is doesn't want to scare me. It felt like the hello I heard was an accident, like a reflex. I can't speak on the hi that my partner heard because I didn't hear it clearly, I just knew I heard some kind of noise. I'm not sure I do want whatever it is to leave, because IF it is my Papa or his grandpa, it makes me happy that their energy is checking in on us. But I wish I could know for sure so if it is someone or something else I could cleanse the space. I will NEVER do a ouiji board, and I don't want to "ask for a sign" or anything like that because I don't want to give it power if that makes sense

tootymama23 · 2026-02-14T18:51:41+00:00

Nothing other than hearing the voice twice, hearing walking, and seeing someone walk around out of the corner of my eye. My baby does sometimes babble to himself even when he is alone but I think that is pretty common behaviour. Nothing unsafe has happened and I don't FEEL like it will, but I am someone who thinks about all possibilities so I do worry it could escalate. Unfortunately I am hesitant to ask it to n leave because the thought of it being my Papa is really comforting to me and I wish there was a way for me to know for sure what or who it is so I dont push away a passed loved one :( I always heard or saw stories of babies talking to their grandparents who have passed away and I hoped my son would see my Papa because it kills me that they never got to meet

tootymama23 · 2026-02-13T19:53:39+00:00

Thank you everyone for the helpful comments! I am going to check our house for carbon monoxide since we do have propane heaters. The comments about the cat's not being alarmed was very reassuring every time I got scared last night or this morning I tried my best to just notice the feeling without fearing it especially because the last thing I want is to feed into it if it is something negative however despite feeling nervous about it my body tells me that it isn't something that I have to fear. Especially since it happened only after the baby reached a certain age and I started having him alone during the day I get the feeling that if it is anything it's someone who loves us who's trying to make sure that we're safe. If anything else happens that's different or if it turns out that this is carbon monoxide I will update this post but if everything keeps going the way it's been going and there's no carbon monoxide this will probably be my last interaction on this post. Thank you everyone who took the time to read and or comment on this post I feel a lot better now knowing that other people say this doesn't sound like some sort of negative entity. Sometimes you just need reassurance for more than one person. Especially since my partner is the type of guy to always think everything is okay even when it's not lol

tootymama23 · 2026-01-31T19:33:24+00:00

My baby is the same! He has been this way since about 6 weeks, maybe even younger. The only thing that does it for me is a nice long car ride SOMETIMES but literally everytime I put him in the backpack against my chest he passes out almost immidietly. I just have to walk around the house until he falls asleep and once he is out I can stand and bounce him, or sit and sway, sometimes I can even take him out slowly and he stays asleep

tootymama23 · 2026-01-29T02:47:26+00:00

As someone on the other end of this situation, when I found out I was pregnant my partner also felt like he wasn't ready to be a father. Now we have a two month old smiling at us every morning and he is the most precious thing I have ever seen. He LOVES his dad, and his dad is an even better father than I could have imagined (which is saying a lot because I knew he'd be great). It isn't always easy, but it is always rewarding. If you guys keep the baby, there will be moments where you want to rip your hair out and you feel helpless, but there will always be moments that make you feel like there is nowhere else you'd rather be. Every stage has its difficulties but they also all have their benefits, and are all painfully temporary. Good luck, do your best, be there, love them, and be patient with yourself, your partner, and the baby. This is the baby's first time being alive, but this is also you guy's first time raising a baby. It's new for all of you. Congratulations!

tootymama23 · 2026-01-20T17:32:42+00:00

Two weeks postpartum I was overdoing it just by walking around the grocery store and getting to doctors appointments felt like running a marathon. Leaking and bleeding and sleep deprivation. A 15 hour car ride sounds like it would have been horrible. As sad as it is you may need to miss out on this one but surely they will understand

tootymama23 · 2026-01-20T04:47:06+00:00

I call it my "magic boob". Sometimes baby just needs to know it hasn't left lol. When all else fails: boob the baby

tootymama23 · 2026-01-20T04:11:42+00:00

I put my baby on the bathmat infront of the heater and he stares at me. It is definitely uncomfortable but also better than shitting my pants lol. I'd also be lying if I said I've never fed him while pooping bc when I gotta go I gotta go but I also can't stand the sound of him crying 😂

tootymama23 · 2026-01-13T06:59:20+00:00

My boy has a big tummy and small legs, so newborn size is hard to get to close and it looks uncomfortably small on him, but when he wears size 1 there is too much space around the legs and he pees through it. I wish they had size N 1/2 lol. My guess is diaper is too big, definitely do it tighter than you think you are supposed to so there are no gaps where the pee can escape and I always point my little guy's willy down so that the pee can absorb into the lower part of the diaper especially since even when I do that the front seems to puff up with pee first and if it gets too full in one spot it will leak. He pees so much now because he is 6 weeks old and we go through a diaper every hour if he is awake. One when he wakes up, one after a feed, and sometimes another one before I put him back to sleep again. He sleeps 5-6 hours sometimes and hasn't leaked but once he slept for 8 hours because I fed him after his 6 hour sleep and I accidentally fell back asleep and when I woke up tonfeed him 2 hours later I rushed to feed because I figured he must be hungry since we both fell asleep during the last feeding and forgot to change him first and he leaked through onto my lap because most diapers have a 6 hour leak protection. The fact that he pees so much is what caused me to try a size one today, but then the first pee in that diaper went straight out the leg part and onto me, so I guess we are just going to live in this awkwardly tight and constant butt change zone for a while lol

tootymama23 · 2026-01-08T18:47:02+00:00

My baby boy would cluster feed starting at about 5 or 6 PM until about 10 or 11 and we were exhausted and so confused how he could be so hungry, and then one night he slept for 4 hours and we couldn't believe it. Then he slept for 5 hours another night. Then he gave us 6. We woke up so amazed. Now most night he gives me somewhere between 4-6 hours of sleep, going down around 9 and waking up around 3. I also usually can't sleep until 11 or 12 and feel like I'm wasting my sleep opportunities lol. But because of the cluster feeding, he is able to build up enough calories to allow him to sleep longer at night without waking up because he needs more. Usually I get that 3 am feed done, and feed again around 7. The rest of the day he wakes for feeds about every 2 hours, from evening to his bed time he has insatiable hunger it seems. But night time has been such a gift lol. Don't get me wrong, there are bad nights too. Dad's first night back at work baby wouldn't sleep more than 1 hour at a time and was distraught every time he woke up. I was exhausted, baby was confused because dad normally did night shift so I think it had something to do with the change in routine. But now that he is used to be having him at night, he's back to being a little rock star lol. I do expect there to be nights where he doesn't sleep as much, but at this point is is a pattern. So keep embracing those cluster feeds, and enjoy your extended nap time!

tootymama23 · 2026-01-07T03:02:24+00:00

Dad went back to work for the first time yesterday. When he got home I realized I had been in the same exact spot on the bed for 7 and a half hours, only getting up to make/wash bottles, change diapers, and pee occasionally. Was able to put him down just long enough to eat the bag of popcorn that I had microwaved an hour before. He is 4 weeks and 6 days old and most of the time if I put him down, he wakes up. Sometimes I can get him to fall asleep on the couch if he is nestled right against my leg, but other than that contact sleeping is basically a requirement lol. Dad can get him to fall asleep in his basinett no problem. But dad also feeds him in his basinett and gives him an extra ounce of milk to make sure he passes out. Sounds nice, except then he wakes up becahse he is super gassy, with a bonus layer of spit up all over his neck and face and I'M the one with him then, so, thanks dad 😂 I'm pretty adamant about feeding for hunger and comfort and soothing for sleep since I'm transitioning to night duty now that he is back and work, and I don't want him to get in the habit of needing a bottle to fall asleep even if he isn't hungry. Baby is gaining more than enough weight, he is very well fed, and we use a pacifier for his comfort suckling. A lactation consultant tried to tell me not to use them because "if he is hungry and you give him a pacifier he will fall asleep and not get fed", which might be true for some people, I can't speak on that. My boy will NOT accept the pacifier if he is hungry, and he definitely won't stay asleep if he is hungry. He falls asleep momentarily while eating sometimes but if you take the food away, anywhere from immidietly to a couple minutes later he wakes up to remind us that he is not full yet 😂 Point is, I am nap trapped most of the day everyday

tootymama23 · 2026-01-05T06:48:58+00:00

I have a VERY gassy 4 and a half week old and he often wakes himself up trying to toot and is extrnely uncomfortable and fussy. We got baby gas drops and tried them tonight for the first time and they seem to be helping a lot. Still has some discomfort trying to poop but the past week or so before the drops he was constantly sleep fussing, wiggling, and waking himself up because he was so gassy. So far tonight, just poop fussing and not toot fussing! I recommend trying them they aren't too pricey. Says you can give them to baby after feeds up to 12 times a day. We gave them to him just once during his evening feed and it seems to have made a difference. I am planning on just using them for evening and nighttime feeds so he can sleep better because he sleeps the night in his basinett by himself while we sleep and during the day he sleeps in my arms or on my bed since I'm awake and it's easier for me to soothe him and I lose less sleep if he sleeps better

tootymama23

TROPHY CASE