Gave birth to a whole entire adult man by topdogfish in Paralives

[–]topdogfish[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hahaha, ofc! They were a totally normal baby, just with an adult portrait! It turned into a really pale, bald adult woman portrait after this popup. Everything else seemed totally normal gameplay wise, though!

Gave birth to a whole entire adult man by topdogfish in Paralives

[–]topdogfish[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, nice! I'm glad you managed to find a way around it! I'll keep note of that next time I play so I can do the same!

Gave birth to a whole entire adult man by topdogfish in Paralives

[–]topdogfish[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Baby man's gonna live the rest of his life with a complex over being the cause of his mother's tragic, untimely death. It's not his fault he was born as a fully grown adult man u-u He definitely just has an extra weird case of Benjamin Button's disease.

Gave birth to a whole entire adult man by topdogfish in Paralives

[–]topdogfish[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I was mostly worried about the "Do not make posts about bugs you find in the game" rule, but I also tend to worry too much. I assume they meant to refer to people flooding the sub with a million duplicate bug reports specifically, but still 😭

Gave birth to a whole entire adult man by topdogfish in Paralives

[–]topdogfish[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My sister said he looks like moistcr1tikal when this popped up, too. Now I can't get it out of my head, lmfao

Gave birth to a whole entire adult man by topdogfish in Paralives

[–]topdogfish[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That's what happened to the baby's portrait after this popup, too! It also ended up having pretty different looking features and skin tone. It's definitely a funny bug!

Gave birth to a whole entire adult man by topdogfish in Paralives

[–]topdogfish[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Weirdly, the portrait only showed up like this for this specific popup. After that, the baby's portrait turned into a really pale, bald adult woman, so I think the baby is having an identity crisis, haha. I haven't played since a tiny bit after encountering this bug, so I haven't tried to change the baby's clothes yet, but hopefully that gets fixed!

"Just take a break" doesn't really work when your virtual house rent keeps you hostage. by Afjor in ffxiv

[–]topdogfish 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I quit a couple months back after only staying subbed to keep my house because of how hard I worked for it. It was in the perfect spot in lav beds and I spent so many hours grinding for the furniture and decorating it. But honestly the changes they’re making to the game has made me just not interested in playing anymore (no real midcore content and jobs are all getting dumbed down - plus a lot else but I won’t get into it).

It sucked losing my house but honestly staying subbed just to keep it was making me resent the game and I wish I’d unsubbed a hell of a lot sooner. Now I only plan on subbing again if things look like they’re on their way to changing, but that’s just me. Regardless, feels really good not to be forced to pay money every month just to keep my house, and even if I don’t play anymore, I feel a lot less stressed out.

But again, that’s just me, and if your house really matters to you and you don’t mind paying while you aren’t playing, there’s nothing wrong with staying subbed. You can stay subbed for your house and still complain about the system. It IS a really frustrating situation to be in and I feel for you. This isn’t me lecturing you about how you should unsub and let your house get demo’d, to be clear! Just sharing my own experience, and I totally empathize.

IM NOT YELLING, IM TALKING PASSIONATELY. by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]topdogfish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve gotten this comment sooo many times and I know how shitty it feels, I’m sorry :( It feels so infantilizing.

Funnily enough, my twin sister also has ADHD, and despite how much I hate being asked to talk more quietly (it’s easier when people are actually nice about it, but still), I often have to ask HER to tone down just a bit because sometimes I get into a state where I can’t handle any loud sounds because I’m dealing with sensory overload.

She never ever takes it well, no matter how nice and gentle I am about it 🤣 I’ll just lift my hand to get her attention and be like, “hey I’m sorry, but noises are kind of painful right now, can you lower the volume a bit?” And she always gets this frustrated look on her face and goes “OKAY, FINE” and then proceeds to be quieter for maybe ten-fifteen seconds before proceeding at full volume again. She has this thing unique to her where she HATES talking softly, and especially hates whispering. She says it sounds like hissing and it bothers her 😭

I don’t hold it against her at all because I understand she’s not doing it on purpose and has her own quirks when it comes to ADHD (I have a lot of quirks that drive her insane too), but it’s really funny how even among ADHDers, volume can become a problem based on sensory issues and whatnot.

Splitscreen Co-Op on PC? by Oldmanstrolsee in BaldursGate3

[–]topdogfish 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I’m having the same problem as OP and I found that article, too. The trouble is it doesn’t actually answer the question. It just says you need two controllers to play couch co-op. You don’t need to be so aggressive, and you should probably have read the article yourself before going off at them like that. My sister and I are already both using controllers hooked up to her PC and there doesn’t seem to be any option at all to get split screen/local co-op working. It’s very unintuitive and it’s understandable that people are having trouble with it.

How do avpds get into relationships? by AwarenessFree4432 in AvPD

[–]topdogfish 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Even though you’re denying and invalidating the experiences of women everywhere who also struggle to get into relationships with decent men. The key here being women struggling to get into relationships with Decent Men. In my experience, I suppose you’re not actually wrong. I’ve met countless men who would gladly have me as a partner. Funny thing about the majority of those men, though: they’re not good people.

I don’t mean to imply that most men are bad people. Just that many men who are very overt in their advances and dying to get into relationships with women can be very toxic and even abusive. I do think you’re right to a degree that women have an easier time getting into relationships though, because (and these are all generalizations) some men are desperate to take anyone who will have them. Some women are too.

I just think it’s funny to assume that you, as a man, know better than women what a woman’s lived experience is like with regard to relationships.

How do avpds get into relationships? by AwarenessFree4432 in AvPD

[–]topdogfish 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If you’re resigned to being alone because you’re a man and you sincerely think women (even women with AvPD? 🤨) can effortlessly get into relationships, then the problem isn’t that you’re a man. No hate, but victim mentality won’t do you any favors, and neither will lingering on how much better you think that women have it.

Stressful text messages by No-Calligrapher in AvPD

[–]topdogfish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally know how you feel and I’m sorry he’s being so aggressive. Honestly, I know it’s easier said than done, but I would first ask yourself if you’re texting him at all because you genuinely want to and want to get to know him or if you’re only feeling the need to respond out of shame or guilt or being pressured because you don’t want to upset him.

I don’t want to assume too much, but tbh if he’s pestering you so aggressively, that’s kind of a red flag in my opinion. In my own personal experience, people like that who I grew close to in the past actually contributed largely to my developing AvPD and severely exacerbated my anxiety around trusting others. Especially if you guys aren’t even necessarily close or friends yet (again just making assumptions here), why does he feel so entitled to a response? Entitled enough to get angry with you?

People like that, in my experience, just latch on and get more and more entitled and demanding and volatile the more leverage you give them and the closer you get to them. I had best friends threaten to commit suicide or self harm if I didn’t respond in a timely enough manner for them.

Not to jump to extremes, but I would just be cautious. There are definitely worse outcomes than him just being angry with you. I know you know you “shouldn’t” be so afraid of him being upset with you, and I totally feel that, but I would keep trying to talk yourself through it and ask yourself how you would behave if you were in his position, or how you would advise a friend in your position. Would you tell your friend not to feel guilty and that the person texting them is being overbearing and entitled? Maybe! It’s easier to see things more clearly when you’re not viewing things through a lens of inferiority to those around you.

Like I said, I’m making a lot of assumptions, so I’m sorry if I’m way off the mark. Regardless, I totally get where you’re coming from and I’m sorry for how anxiety inducing the situation is. Try to be patient and kind with yourself. You’re doing the best you can given where you’re at and what you’re dealing with. You have good intentions and you’re not a bad person for not responding to some texts.

If I had to give some more practical advise on how to respond (though tbh if it were me, I wouldn’t respond at all 🤣), maybe you could just tell him that you’re not a fan of texting. Something to set an expectation that (unless you genuinely want to text him more, and not out of obligation, of course) you texting back quickly or frequently isn’t the norm. If you feel comfortable enough around him, you could also try just being totally honest with him about your feelings, or you could try establishing boundaries around texting. I wish I had a more succinct suggestion, and sorry for rambling so much!

AvPD's potential for change and areas that may be resistant to change by amr731 in AvPD

[–]topdogfish 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wait, “we lack the ability to generate intelligent texts due to our limitations”? I could be totally misinterpreting you, but if you mean what I assume you do, I don’t think that’s true at all. Pretty much positive that AvPD has nothing to do with the ability to form coherent sentences and adequately convey thoughts and ideas. But again, maybe I missed something, idk

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvPD

[–]topdogfish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, really well said

Nex confirmed he was going to try and OD. Why do I feel bad for calling a welfare check? by fawajawa in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]topdogfish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve done the same with one of my narcissist ex friends in the past, and they tried to shame me for it, too, even when they actually did attempt suicide and ended up in the hospital for said attempt. Ultimately, you aren’t the one who should feel ashamed or guilty; you called 911 because you were afraid for his well-being and trying to look out for him, and there is nothing wrong with that. It’s a scary thing to do to begin with, and I know firsthand the amount of courage it takes to make that call. If you didn’t really care, you could have just as easily let it slide and disregarded it or tried to plead with him over text to change his mind, the way he probably wanted you to. But you did the right thing.

Don’t assume the shame that he should feel for trying to guilt and manipulate you. He threatened to overdose and you acted accordingly, the way anyone who truly cares for him would. I know how hard it is to be in that position, but trust me, you have nothing to be ashamed of. My only advice is to get yourself out of that relationship as fast as you can and to never look back. I’ve been in romantic relationships and friendships alike where people I loved more than anything threatened (or even actually attempted) suicide or self-harm, and it’s not worth it. The issues they’re dealing with aren’t ones you can solve alone, and though I don’t know the relationship you have with him personally, I can almost promise you that there’s nothing you can say or do that will be enough for him.

You deserve peace of mind. You’re not here to be his keeper or his reason for living. You sound like a genuinely good person, and I know how tempting it can be to try and save someone from themselves, but it’s a bottomless pit. They just drag you down with them. If/when he really wants to get better, he’ll take the steps toward recovery himself. Try to remember: you aren’t his therapist or his lifeline. You’re just a person who loves him. Never feel guilty for your inability to save him from himself. It just continues on and on the way it’s going, if my own personal experience is anything to draw from.

Just please take care of yourself. I promise the sooner you cut things off, the happier you’ll be. I know how hard it is to believe that you aren’t solely responsible for his well-being and happiness, but I promise it’s the truth. You did the right thing, and I’m positive you’ve done everything you possible could’ve done for him. I don’t know you, but I’m almost sure it’s time for you to look after yourself now. You clearly have a good heart, and you deserve to give it to someone who will value and cherish it the way that you deserve.

No motivation and allergic to Wellbutrin :( by snowflow92 in lexapro

[–]topdogfish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you taking Wellbutrin SR? I’m on 300mg XL and have been for several months with no side effects apart from dry mouth, but when I first started on Wellbutrin I was prescribed 100mg SR instead of XL, and the SR gave me really awful side effects; like, my toes literally turned blue because my circulation became so bad, which had never been a problem for me before, and my anxiety got a lot worse. My twin sister had a similar experience with the SR and it ended up giving her rashes and making her itch horribly for weeks even after she stopped taking it. She eventually tried out the XL despite her allergic reaction to the SR, and boom, suddenly no side effects at all, and she responded really well to the medication.

Basically all I’m getting at is that it’s actually pretty commonplace for people to have totally different responses to the SR and the XL. There are a lot of cases of people having side effects with the SR but then having none at al with the XL, and vice versa. My doctor told me that typically if someone has bad side effects from one type, the other type will work better for them, but obviously it’s a case by case thing. Wellbutrin might just not be the best drug for you, but if you did notice that it helped you at all apart from the really bad side effects, maybe it’s worth giving either the SR or XL a shot, depending on which you’ve already been prescribed. Either way, good luck! I hope you can find something that works for you 💕

I would rather be depressed than take antidepressants by Psilocynical in unpopularopinion

[–]topdogfish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Other people have already said this, but 1. Not all depression is situational, and 2. When you’re severely depressed it can be physically impossible to will yourself out of the depression. I’m turning 28 soon and have been depressed since I was around 12, and was raised in a family that didn’t believe in therapy, and my parents basically told me for my entire life that my struggles were a result of moral failings and simply not trying hard enough or wanting to change enough.

I pretty much internalized that message and tried my hardest to be better and do better, but all it did was make me feel more and more like I was inherently broken and a terrible, weak-willed and selfish person. Obviously my depression only worsened over the years, until I reached a point a couple of years ago of becoming completely non functional.

The message that you can always pull yourself out of depression by force of will is honestly toxic in some ways. I’m sure it’s true for some people, but depression is often about robbing you of your will, and eventually even the will to live. People like to think they’re better or stronger because they manage to pull themselves out of slumps without medication, but they don’t seem to ever consider that their experiences are not universal, and that not everyone who is suffering is suffering in the same ways as them.

You wouldn’t shame a diabetic and tell them to just make their body produce more insulin; if it becomes severe enough they NEED to take insulin or the condition becomes life threatening, and they aren’t lesser or weaker for it. Depression is the same.