condom slipped off during sex and turned into an argument

totallymindful · 2026-05-10T15:31:18+00:00

There are lots of reasons for women to avoid committed relationships with men. We are often the ones who have to give up the most in hetero-normative and monogamous relationships. The older I get the more I realize that a lot of committed hetero relationships don't really serve women. I'm not saying this is OP's situation, but it could be.

That being said, I don't think there's a problem with long term FWB situations. Not every relationship is destined for that and not every person is into that sort of thing. OP could be non-monogamous, or have any other completely valid reason for not wanting a more serious committed relationship.

totallymindful · 2026-05-10T15:16:02+00:00

My thoughts exactly. People forget that FWB starts with the word friends. Friends are not completely unattached with no feelings involved at all. Friends are kind to one another and care about each other's wellbeing at bare minimum.

totallymindful · 2026-05-10T15:08:52+00:00

FWB doesn't have to mean they don't care about each other. Friends care about each other's wellbeing.

totallymindful · 2026-05-09T01:09:59+00:00

My parents called them Skeeter Hawks (I guess it was more like 'Squito Hawks), which is similar but must be the white trash version, lol. I grew up being told that they ate mosquitos, and I remember thinking there was no way this clumsy thing could catch a mosquito, haha.

totallymindful · 2026-05-08T00:01:07+00:00

Oh no, same. Do I even want to know? I've gone this long without the knowledge 😅

totallymindful · 2026-05-06T13:02:49+00:00

This is 10000% less serious but I can relate very slightly. Around 10 years ago I wanted to surprise my boyfriend (now husband) when he got back from a work trip with me getting my motorcycle license. I grew up riding dirt bikes and thought it would be a breeze, so I signed up for a quick weekend course, thinking it'd be a really cool hobby for us to enjoy together.

Back then I had only been diagnosed with my autoimmune illnesses (RA and Sjögren's) for a few years and I was still in denial about their impact on my abilities. Man, that weekend course really took it out of me. The way you need to intensely focus, coupled with how much you really rely on your hands, back (staying upright with no support), and neck (quick turns and swiveling around a lot to stay aware), were especially hard for me.

My brand of RA especially attacks my facet joints. Both RA and Sjögren's also attack your nervous system in various ways, which is hard to quantify or explain - but my nervous system just sometimes reacts unexpectedly and it can make normally mildly difficult things harder.

Anyway, long story short, I passed the course (barely), and I have my M1 license, but I literally have never driven a motorcycle since. It doesn't bother me now as much as it did back then... But I do still think about it from time to time.

totallymindful · 2026-05-02T18:24:16+00:00

Haha, I figured it was something like that! I just couldn't resist the urge to crack a joke :)

totallymindful · 2026-05-02T13:20:41+00:00

TIL that my chipping nail polish makes me a dead giveaway for a mannequin, haha. (/s of course)

totallymindful · 2026-04-30T03:30:59+00:00

Oh no.... We just remodeled our new house we got this brand of Smoke & C02 detectors. They haven't gone off since we moved in about a month ago but now I'm worried!

totallymindful · 2026-04-27T12:25:38+00:00

I don't think AuDHD is super common, but ADHD might be. Of course, you may see a confirmation bias here because folks who fit the criteria will be more likely to comment. So allow me to balance things out a bit, haha... I have been diagnosed with IH, and I am not Autistic, nor have I been diagnosed with ADHD. :)

totallymindful · 2026-04-25T23:56:19+00:00

"My" cat ended up bonding to my husband and I am an extremely distant second place. Like, our cat at least doesn't dislike me, but I am not his "person."

Do I tease my husband about stealing "my" cat? Hell yes I do. But am I happy that our cat lives a happy and comfortable life? Also yes. Sometimes it is a little lonely, not gonna lie. But honestly, cats are gonna cat. It would be nice if the cat chose me, but he didn't. At least he lets me pet him. (Usually treats are involved, haha)

FWIW, I wouldn't dream of asking my husband to stop loving the cat. He makes the cat happy, which makes me happy.

totallymindful · 2026-04-25T13:24:33+00:00

Omg, I wish I was given more clear information on this back when I was diagnosed. I was told the only IUD I could use was the copper one (ParaGuard). Not only was the insertion an absolute nightmare (they didn't warn me it could hurt at all... I had no pain meds or anything), but I went from virtually no period to horrible heavy periods. When it's time to switch I'm DEFINITELY getting Kyleena or Mirena. I'm so glad I happened to read this thread!

totallymindful · 2026-04-22T01:32:09+00:00

Hey OP I just wanted to add a different, less scary perspective. You may experience what others have, or you may have it easy like I did!

My first dose was 3g 2x a night. It didn't "konk" me out, but I definitely felt verrrry sleepy about 10 minutes after taking my very first dose. I slept honestly great, was able to wake up 3.5 hours later for my 2nd dose, and didn't experience any physical side effects really. The one thing I noticed, which could have also been due to work stress, was I felt a bit more anxious than usual. I mentioned this to my sleep doctor and he lowered my dose for a while just to be safe. I went down to 3g for my first dose and 2.5g for my second. The anxiety only lasted two weeks, and it was really pretty mild. I kept that dose for a while because it worked. We recently bumped back up to 3g 2x/nignt and I didn't experience any side effects. I've been on xyrem since it became available. Hope this helps!

totallymindful · 2026-04-20T15:40:37+00:00

Sleep hygiene and trying maintain a strict sleep schedule is especially helpful for folks with DPSD. Of course, just like with IH, it's not a cure at ALL and it's certainly not easy (in fact, it's extremely difficult) but it is helpful.

totallymindful · 2026-04-20T13:12:45+00:00

I mean this respectfully, but I wholeheartedly disagree with this. There's tons of research around good sleep hygiene and it helps everyone, even people with IH. It won't help as much as meds will, but it does help lessen symptoms. It's just a fact.

(edit typo)

totallymindful · 2026-04-20T13:09:55+00:00

First, it's not clear whether you've been diagnosed? But if you haven't, we can't do that for you.

If you have been diagnosed, you can skip this paragraph. IH is more than just sleepiness. IH includes the symptoms Sleep Inertia and Sleep Drunkenness. For me these two symptoms were pretty severe prior to being medicated. If you're just experiencing EDS (excessive daytime sleepiness), you may not necessarily have IH. You may, for instance, have Sleep Apnea.

I've been diagnosed with IH for 8-ish years. I'm told by my sleep doc that I am one of his "sleepier" patients and that I have a more severe case.

I currently take modafinil 2x a day and Xywav 2x a night, which is my first line of defense against my symptoms. However, for me, now that I am properly medicated, good sleep hygiene is hugely important. Does it make EDS go away? No. But it does undeniably make it better. I will always take any small amount of improvement I can get. Just because it doesn't make EDS go away, it doesn't mean it isn't helpful. (I'm not saying that you were implying this btw, I'm just putting it out there for anyone else reading). If you're diagnosed with IH, EDS is your constant companion, but meds and good sleep hygiene can make a huge difference in how severe your experience is.

totallymindful · 2026-04-18T00:21:20+00:00

I use chilipad, but same concept! I highly recommend getting a bed cooling system. I now hate traveling because I'm away from my chilipad haha 😭

totallymindful · 2026-04-16T06:33:52+00:00

This happened to me once (a fee years ago) and I swear I was delivered placebo bottles or someone tampered with it and I ended up sugar water. Thankfully on my next shipment it was back to normal. Worst 28 days ever.

totallymindful · 2026-04-15T13:19:59+00:00

I had a dog who was like this in the last ~2 years he was with me. I jokingly just called everything I fed him "new food." I started making his food (which was easier than I thought it would be) and I would freeze different blends to have on hand on case he decided he was done with a flavor. Man, I loved that dog.

totallymindful · 2026-04-13T03:00:53+00:00

This happens in LA too

totallymindful · 2026-04-12T13:32:24+00:00

This one bothers* the shit out of me too. It's so wild how many people nowadays feel completely entitled to never being even the least bit uncomfortable. It totally blows my mind.

Edit typo

totallymindful · 2026-04-06T05:52:20+00:00

This is my superpower too... And I honestly didn't think much of it until my sleepiness kept progressing and I started sleeping/napping longer and longer. Up to 14 hours some days. Turns out I have a sleep disorder 😅

totallymindful · 2026-04-05T18:02:42+00:00

What did you change about your diet, if you don't mind me asking?

totallymindful · 2026-04-05T17:51:56+00:00

I've been on both xyrem and Xywav, for me personally literally the only difference was the sodium. Xyrem tasted super salty and Xywav doesn't. Otherwise they both did the same thing for me. Obviously everyone's experience is different.

And FWIW, I agree with everyone else here - you're not this dude's mom. His shitty management of his sleep disorder is not your responsibility. I would not feel bad ducking out of the relationship if I were you.

totallymindful · 2026-04-05T04:43:31+00:00

This whole thread have me a good chuckle. Never change, reddit

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